words don't have to be spoken to have meaning

They're already happier without me. Maybe I should stay away forever.

I've been having dreams again, about him. But this time, instead of it happening to me, it's River. I'm more terrified when I wake up than when it was happening to me.

I think maybe this could work.. Maybe.

It's not true it's not true it's not true it's not true

I can't fall asleep. I'm terrified of my dreams. Not because they're bad.. But because they're good. Too good. Too good for the fucking situation I'm in. I knocked up what was supposed to be a one night stand, and now I have feelings for her. But the feelings, are they real or a band aid to keep me from breaking over Josh and Tyler's rejection? I know I'm not over either of them, I still want what I've wanted from the start, but I'm having a fucking child and they are married. To each other. Not me, never me. I need to leave them alone. Then John has the nerve to accuse me of flirting with Darcey? Are you fucking serious? As if I have the energy, let alone the fact that John is my brother and I would never, ever do that to him. And not only did he accuse me, he said Darcey is the one who came to him about it, saying he was uncomfortable. If he was uncomfortable, why did he apologize for John overreacting, and say he knew that's not what I was doing? I just want the truth, for once. I don't like the constant lies and mind games. Josh beat me up. Bad. My legs hurt so bad I collapsed in the shower and hit my head. I told Lana I was fine, but I keep feeling dizzy.. Maybe I should sleep.

.