Everyone believed that we were perfect... But now I’m uncovering trauma I never even knew I had because I wanted to believe it too.

It’s been about a year since I realized I was wrong, but about three too long.

I remember the pain and the tears... I remember the begging, the sleepless nights, the lack of appetite and insane weight loss following... It was real... But I somehow convinced myself that I was overreacting and maybe even crazy because you said it wasn’t a big deal. 

And we moved on from it. Sort of.

I became everything it took to keep you happy and keep us perfect.

But what’s crazy is being told that I’m not and that I wasn’t... By another guy who’s shown me care, concern, and respect I never thought was possible.

I don’t mean to compare because that isn’t fair, but I never would have imagined that it could get better. I never thought I was settling because I thought that was as good as it got.