when i’m supposed to be paying attention to something but my adhd energy is going like

if i look back, i am lost
Not today Justin
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@justsomeonewithadhd
when i’m supposed to be paying attention to something but my adhd energy is going like

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I’ve been thinking about this for a while now...
{this post is not a happy one y’all. If you don’t feel like listening to me being all in my feels rn, just keep scrolling and ignore this please. Btw idk if that sounded passive aggressive just then, but I’m just putting that out there so anyone who doesn’t need negativity in their lives rn can pass this without it affecting them, bc I know I feel that way sometimes}
At this point in my life, I’m supposed to be going to school, figuring out my life, meeting new people, moving out, growing up, etc. But I just feel like I’m totally lost on what to do with myself since there’s no one around me that I can really look to as an example or a leader.
My adhd scares me so much and I hate how much it rules over my life.
Instead of getting to move into dorms and have a normal college life, my fear of being constantly overstimulated and getting panic attacks has kept me at home with my family. And don’t get me wrong, I love my family and this was definitely better financially, but I just feel like I’ve missed out on so much because of it.
Right now I’m watching all of my friends move out, meet new people, and pursue degrees and careers they have confidence they can fulfill because they don’t have to worry about the limitations set on them with a disability like adhd.Â
To be honest, I’ve known this was coming, and have been bracing myself for it for a while now. I also know that everyone struggles and that my life could be a lot worse. I shouldn’t be divulging in self pity so much, but it’s so hard to stop the problems and limitations caused by adhd from getting to me.
I’m trying to figure out what career I should pursue, but I have no idea what to do since I’m scared of how my adhd/anxiety could inhibit my future. Maybe if I choose a certain career path, I’m going to screw myself over because it’s not going to mix well with my mental conditions. What am I gonna do then? Won’t it be too late? It’s not like I can easily just go back to school and start over.
I always feel so alone. There’s no one I can talk to about this because not only do I want to upset anyone I know with my own unhappiness, but also because they just literally don’t get it. It’s totally not their fault, but there’s no way to make a connection with the people around me on this since they don’t understand what it’s like to have adhd.
I’ve gained like 20 lbs. in the last ~2 years because I stress eat. The difference between my body’s health and condition during the school year vs. during the summer shocks me every time school ends and I improve again. I see how much damage the stress of adhd does to my body since I have to work so hard to prevent my adhd from holding me back in school.
I had to become a part time student at school this semester (which is bad bc I’m a scholarship student and I was never supposed to do that in the first place) because I couldn’t take the work load of school. I was literally getting no sleep and was physically and mentally exhausted. Not to mention the fact that I need to work part time if I want to make enough money to move out. I’m scared for this upcoming semester since I have to go back to being full time and work my part time job at the same time. I don’t know how badly the extra work is going to affect my health.
I don’t want to be sad, scared, lonely, and insecure anymore. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to know I have control over my life, but I don’t know how to do that.
Sorry this is a giant wall of text and it’s super all over the place. My mind is just kind of a mess right now and I’m really frustrated and tired.
Thank you SO MUCH to anyone who actually reads this whole thing. I don’t deserve that. I’m open to hearing your advice. Lol if you couldn’t already tell, I’m kind of at wits end here.
Anyway, Happy New Year. Here’s to a better 2019.
the lucky ones get to draw more than once!
OOF. I felt that
my adhd mood of the day:
alone in my room, having a break down from stress (mostly caused by my adhd), while jingle bells plays non-stop in the back of my head
When your heart suddenly starts beating faster and you’re trying to figure out if it’s the adhd or anxiety

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  happy october!
October is ADHD Awareness Month! • [click to enlarge] [source]
🙌🏻🙌🏼Preach 🙌🏾🙌🏿
College + ADHD = no sleep.  like ever.
also someone tell me why my school had the bright idea to give me time and a half accommodations for my exams but won’t give me extended time for school work?
like....tf? do they think my adhd just disappears when I go home? that it’s not gonna affect me when I study and do homework?Â
I found out yesterday that this person I've known for a while actually has the same type of ADHD as me. It was so refreshing and to find out someone thinks like me. lol I think I weirded him out a little bc I was so excited but that shit was cool

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Guess Who’s Back and Better and Evah? It’s your girl justsomeonewithadd let’s go~
Hello, sorry I’ve been hiatus for like maybe over a month now but life was really starting to get to me. I had a couple of panic attacks and have been dealing with applying to college stress (still haven’t decided my major/school lol gonna kms (jk not really )), exams, friend problems, adhd shit (you guys know), and just my usual busy schedule on top of that. I just needed to lighten the load and managing my tumblr was the easiest thing to let go of.Â
I feel bad about this because a lot of you guys have been submitting messages and stuff to me and I literally just you guys in the dark (I’m so so sorry). I was just in like bad condition and needed to fix myself and get back on track before I tried to help anyone else. Keeping that in mind, although I sometimes offer advice, I make no guarantee I will always be able to or that it’s going to be the best advice. Ya know? I’m just some high school kid, not Dr. Phil but imma try best anyway because we need to stick together as a community and try to help each other out when we can :)
That said, from now on (or at least for now) I will be responding to all messages privately (as soon as I get through all the anonymous messages in my inbox) as I just don’t want my the blog to be an advice/submission blog you know? I feel like ADHDtumblr already has a few really good blogs that post submissions, so idk, if you don’t like this, I guess maybe just go to them instead (?) (sorry).Â
Anywho, I’ll start writing back to all the messages this week (just please have patience with me though, there’s a lot).
 I’m steal dealing with anxiety stuff and life in general, but I miss this and I miss you guys so imma slowly work my way back to posting often again. Sorry for the long text post. <3
Is it weird/bad to only go and ask for an adhd test at 19? My friends and I notice a lot of symptoms and stuff from my past matches up and it’s affecting my university work but I’ve never been tested before because I was quiet in school and stuff I’m conflicted?
It not weird or bad. It is never too late to go get tested for it. I've heard quite a few stories of people who didn't find out they had the disorder until they were in college for all the same factors you just mentioned.
hi, i have a question pertaining to sensory issues and ADHD. whenever i watch ASMR videos and the person covers the ears/mic with something, or they put a fluffy ear pick in the ear/mic, my ears start hurting due to the sound/visuals and i have to stop the video. would that be a sensory issue by any chance? thank you so much :)
I can’t say I’ve ever experienced ear pain from ASMR before, or if it’s definitely adhd related (maybe somebody else knows?!) but i can say that I am extremely sensitive to ASMR. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can’t eat with my family or friends or be near them when they’re chewing gum or something. I literally have to like remove myself from the room so I don’t have to see or hear them doing the activity or else it literally feels like my brain is melting down.
lmao tbh i’ll probably make a rant about this at some point later so if you want to stay tuned you can. i am so passionate in my hate of ASMR
Can I ask if you answer all your asks? It’s, of course, perfectly understandable if you have too many to answer. I’m just curious, since I sent in an ask a week or so ago. Again, it’s perfectly under stable and fine if you don’t, I’m just curious
oh my god i feel so bad. yes, I have always intended to answer all the asks. lol tbh this blog has kind escalated in the last few months in a way that I wasn’t really ready for. I created this tumblr to have a place where I could vent and talk to people like me when I needed it, but I never really expected to receive the kind response that I have. I’m sorry that I have neglected some of you guys. I’m all caught up on the asks now and I’ll try to be better about it from now on, the adhd community is not all about just me after all ;)
hi, it's adhd to start doing something and then your body is like "you already have done so much, take rest" but them you're like "shut up we've barely started" but then you take the rest anyways??? hahaha idk if I explained myself
hmm lol i’m not too sure but I do struggle with staying awake to finish my work instead of letting myself sleep. anybody else?

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Sometimes i feel a big rush of energy go through me, but it usually happens during class so I can’t do anything about it. So i will sit there just going insane trying to get the energy out in any way possible. Does anyone else get this?
Yes. Me. I do. All the time.
lmao like literally I will just be screaming in my head because there is so much energy that i have with no where to put it.
I’ve been recognizing a lot of adhd symptoms in myself lately, but I’m still very uncertain. I’ve asked my mom to take me to a doctor, but she INSISTS that I don’t have it because I already would have been diagnosed (I’m 13) and because we need some sort of recommendation from my teachers to go. Any suggestions as to what I should do?
I don’t know if it’s different for where you live or the school system you’re in, however, I never had to have a recommendation from a teacher to get tested. I have doubts that you would need one too, but again, your situation may be different. Idk, I would try looking into it a little more.
But more than that I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your mother. If you haven’t already, I would inform her that it is very common for people to be diagnosed late in their lives. I, myself, was diagnosed at an older age than you are right now and many people get diagnosed as adults who have already graduated from college and moved on to careers. If she’s still not convinced I would try to reach out to maybe a teacher you trust, a school counselor, or school psychologist as they should be willing to listen to your concerns and work with you and your family to help you find the people who will get you tested.
I know what I just recommended to you is a lot easier said than done, however, it’s important to remember to prioritize your health (both physical and mental) and to connect with people who will respect your concerns. I hope this helped, good luck!