Grey

Beefy

b e e f y

He gives really great hugs, obviously. He's got so much meat on him that he feels like a really large pillow, and I'm here for it. And if you're reading this, I guess you're for it too 🤷‍♂️

Crazy protective, too. Man doesn't love easily after what happened with Silco, but when he does, mwah, you are not leaving his sight for longer than an hour before someone on his side is just "keeping an eye on you"

Vander loves jokes. Especially dad jokes. Because he's a dad. Please joke with him. Please, his kids always respond with "ughghh" and all he wants is an adoring audience. Please be that for him.

"What's the time?"

"It's... time to get a watch!" *big goofy grin*

"Hah- hahahahhahahahhaahhaahhaha please, Vander."

"Right, sorry. It's a quarter past seven, love."

👉👈

Anyway, Vander loves nicknames. Like, a lot a lot. He loves nicknames. What one's? Great question. Take a guess. He loves playing games with you and this is one of those games

Guess.

If you said anything along the lines of sweetheart, love, sweetie, or honey. You'd be right. He loves using generic nicknames with you because he wants to be as domestic as possible.

He likes to feel like his life is as normal as can be despite it being absolutely the opposite of that. He loves his children, and he loves you, so why not make the most of it? At least, that's what he figures.

The wackiest shit happens sometimes. There's a real mix of interactions in his little family and we living for all of them.

"Can you pass the sa-?"

*glitter bomb explosion from Powder's bunk*

"Oh, for the love of- POWDER, ARE YOU OKAY?!?"

His kids are all extraordinary. Mylo is very charismatic and is able to talk his way out of a lot of trouble, Claggor is great at lifting heavy shit, Vi can punch the daylights out of everyone, and Powder has the potential to be a great inventor someday. His goal is to inspire them all to be the best versions of themselves and to always be kind when they're able to despite living in the meanest area around.

You are also very intertwined with his children's lives to the point where they're basically your kids as well. If you didn't want that, break up with him. He's a package deal. All or nothing.

"Hey... what's that you're tinkering with, Pow Pow?"

"It's a bomb."

"It's a what."

"She means- uhm- it's full of confetti...? For... For Mylo's birthday! Y'know, that's totally coming up soon."

"Wait, my birthday isn't-"

"Yeah, yeah... for Mylo's birthday!" *innocent smile*

"For some reason... i d o n ' t b e l i e v e t h a t . . . Just... just stay out of trouble. As much as possible."

The kids treat you like a member of the family as well if you couldn't tell. They latch onto you, some take longer than others but they all eventually view you as their other parent.

First it was Powder, then it was Claggor, followed by Vi and then Mylo a little later on.

Vander actually wants to make it official with you someday and make you stay with him and his family forever by proposing to you, but with the current state of the Undercity, he may never get to. He's a busy, busy man, trying to hold the Lanes together. Sometimes, he gets too focused on that and forgets to share his attention around when crime is really bad.

But even just being around helps him out 🫡

You didn't want Scout to hear about your latest mission. You wanted to delude yourself into thinking that not telling him was to make him not worry, but it was mainly because you didn't want to face him the day you had to leave.

Scout had managed to find out about it anyway through one very loud, very patriotic American as 8 out of your 9 other mercenary companions came to say their goodbyes in the dead of night.

You get a couple of handshakes, hugs, and pats on the back from the rest, and just as you're about to get in your vehicle, Scout's speedy footsteps rush out of the base.

"Woah, woah, woah! Where 'da Hell are you tryin' to go! And at 'dis time of night?!" He shouts, pulling you away and holding your arms tight.

"Scout- Scout, listen. This is something I have to do alone, alright." You try to defuse his anxiety and worry for you by running your fingers through his hair.

"Whatd'ya mean you gotta go on 'dis mission wit'out me? Wit'out anyone? Why would ya' ever gotta go somewhere without me? I mean, w- why would you even agree to 'dat?"

Scout looks stunned as you don't respond to him immediately, scratching the back of his head in confusion.

"I- It's just something I have to do. D- don't worry. I'll be ba-"

"Don't tell me 'dat, I'm not stupid."

"Scout-!"

"I said I'm not stupid. Listen ta' me, it's supposed to be me and you, forever! You. And. Me! You can't just go out and get yourself killed-!" He begins, waving his hands around to emphasise how displeased he is with this.

"Scout."

"Don't even try to-"

"Scout!"

Scout jumps a little at the volume of your voice, standing up straight in front of you. Now, he's listening to you. Finally. His ears even perk up a little.

Your hands slowly move to your helmet, taking the damn thing off to reveal your dashing face, adorned with scars and a bruise that never seems to go away.

Scout is mesmerised. He never got to see your face very often, and every time he did, it just blew him away. Why would you ever hide it away? He thinks. If he was as handsome as you, which he totally is, he wouldn't hide a damn thing, let alone his entire face.

His thoughts are interrupted as you gently raise his hands and place your helmet into them.

"Wh- why're you givin' me your helmet? 'Dis is your helmet. You're gonna need it, aren't ya'?" He closes one of his eyes and moves the helmet around a little, inspecting it.

"Not where I'll be headed. Listen, I want you to... to keep it safe for me, yeah?" You smile at him and move to caress his cheek, nervousness emanating from your affectionate touches. Scout blushes a little.

"No. You're makin' it back so that you can take your damn helmet back! I'm not losing you. I can't lose you. So I better not be keepin' this for too long." He pouts, pulling you in for a tight hug.

He wraps his arms and legs around your body for as long as he's allowed to before Heavy has to yank him off of your body.

"Damnit! Hey! I need'ta- give him a kiss. Lay off me, ya' lug!" He struggles out of Heavy's arms and kisses you on the lips before he's pulled away again, biting and scratching with your helmet in his arms.

Eventually, you're called back into the vehicle and Scout forces himself to watch as you're driven away to some place, with only your helmet as a way to keep him company.

~~~We time skipping dis so that i can time skip to dream land~~~

The last month had been Hell on Earth Scout. He was lonely and afraid that you would never make it back. Not even Medic's very best attempt at therapy (Having Archimedes follow Scout all day) could help with the mercs anxiety.

Eventually, the same bland truck that hauled you off to God knows where comes rolling back, and Saxton Hale himself holds you as you attempt to stand.

Scout sits in his room, mopey and sad, unaware of your return for a while, which allows you to swiftly get to the medbay.

"Fuck! Fuck it hurts! DON'T TOUCH THERE! TOUCH MY KIDNEY AND YOU'RE A GONER!"

"YOUR KIDNEY IS HANGING OUT OF YOUR BODY! I AM NOT SURE IF YOU ARE EDUCATED VERY WELL, BUT EITHER WAY, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOUR ORGANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE INSIDE, NOT OUTSIDE! WHY IS IT OUTSIDE?!"

"I DON'T KNOW?! I DIDN'T SURVIVE ALL THAT JUST TO GET YELLED AT BY A MADMAN! JUST HEAL ME UP ALREADY!!"

"GO FIND A HEALTH PACK!!!"

You and Medic shout back and forth at each other, alerting the whole base to your return.

Although it is Pyro that plunges their axe through Scout's door.

"H- hey! What da' heck?! There are times when a freakazoid like you should leave a man ta' mope!" Scout cries, his ears starting to pick up on the sounds of your shouts now that Pyro has so kindly opened his door for him.

"What the...?" Scout watches as you run past his door, looking desperately for a health pack as Medic chases you down with a scalpel.

Do not piss off your local medics.

"Holy shi- W- WAIT UP, ASSHOLE!"

Scout calls and looks over to your helmet, which is sitting at the foot of his bed and smiles like a madman as he grabs it and rushes out of his room and past Pyro.

"Get a move on, py!"

"HUR HUD HUR HUDDAAA!" (Go get your man!)

CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS *jevil laughter*

Probably get along really well with Pyro and Scout not gonna lie because Pyro likes to burn shit (Even though I'm pretty sure they think they're spreading joy and colour) and Scout is pretty hyper in general, willing to go along with anything as long as it's fun.

*burns down barn*

"huddah huh huu hud."

"Yeah, loving the colour too, pally. Really makes the wood boom." *evil chuckles*

As soon as Pyro learns about your shapeshifting ability, they're all over you. They want you to play 3 different characters at their tea parties simultaneously and transform into a unicorn so that they can ride you into battle and fulfill their wildest dreams

"Hud hudda hu hubuh huuuuh HUDDAH!!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" *transforms into a unicorn* "Get on."

*excited hu noises*

"HUDDAHHHH!!"

Besties 💗🌈🔥✨️

Some of the older and quieter mercenaries are NOT gonna be having a field day with you and your silly little personality.

Sniper hates it THE MOST. He doesn't like people that much in general and can barely keep up with the hyperactive chaos that is you, so he mainly sticks to watching you burn shit down from afar.

"Did'ya really have ta' do that much?"

"Yeah. Why, you not liking it, pissboy?"

"..."

"That's what I thought. Don't be a hero, buddy."

Although he doesn't appreciate your snarky attitude, he likes how you can shapeshift. He really likes animals and will sometimes scope in on you when you transform, nodding with approval and whispering a little, "cool" that he hopes nobody hears.

Spy thinks you're a nuisance around the base but definitely sees the usefulness in your shapeshifting abilities since he kinda almost does the same damn thing, just with his goofy masks. He respects you for that, if anything, at all.

Do not ever expect to replace him or get remotely close to him in espionage, though. If you are at the same level as Nimona, you're not great at directly impersonating humans, and he will tease you about it.

"What was that, today?

"What was what?"

"The 'Oh Mon deu! Ack! Oohh! I dropped my baguette' if that was meant to be an impersonation of me, know that it was terrible, and my lawyer will be contacting you."

"I dunno, I think it was pretty accurate." *shrug*

Medic loves you. Sorry, not sorry. Loves you. Does get tired of you sometimes, but not all the time. He's generally also very *bzzz bzzz chaos organs* so he's happy to indulge in whatever you want to do which usually involves the absolute destruction of everything.

Medic is also incredibly fascinated by your shapeshifting ability. Do not sleep around this man while shape shifted because he's poking and prodding everywhere while you're out.

"Ohoho... how peculiar" *pokes open nerve*

"YEOUCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

*nervous chuckle as he hides a bucket of blood and from your view*

Engineer tries to be that guiding light he thinks you need. He's a friend, a father figure, a colleague, whatever you need. He's a nice Southern gentleman with a slightly insane twist. Encourages you to be careful around the others, but if you aren't, he's not complaining. Makes the job easier if everyone listens.

Heavy is pretty chill with you. He's neither annoyed nor pleased that you're around. He relatively keeps to himself, medic, and his guns.

Actually, do not touch his gun. Do not pretend to be his gun either.

Soldier and Demo like your charisma. You can be a pretty fun drinking partner for demo, and a nice soldier when you're willing to follow orders (which isn't usually) but as long as you get the job done with as much destruction as possible, Soldier is saluting you almost as much as he does the American flag that is hanging next to his bed.

"ANOTHER GREAT DAY, TODAY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND I MIGHT RAISE YOUR STATUS, CADET!"

"SIR YES SIR! or something I dunno, fuck this is weird..."

*walks with soldier, ignoring the screams of the dammed behind you*

He makes you transform into an eagle and has you sit there on his arm for a while, admiring you fly. It's brought him close to tears on many occasions.

Whenever he gets married to Heavy's sister, Soldier is making sure that you are THERE as an Eagle. He'll pay you to fly across the sky and make majestic bird noises.

Being queer is hard. And being able to not tell anyone (if you're like me and wanna live comfortably) is hard too.

The way they find out is if you got really cosy with them, and I'm talking being invited to Engie's barbecues, Spy letting you smoke one of his fancy ass cigars, and Scout tossing balls to you and acting like an older brother towards you kind of cosy.

So, one day, you accidentally let it slip during a conversation at dinner, having gotten way too comfortable.

Everyone except Medic and Spy was there, choosing to skip to do "work" instead. Your words quieted the whole damn room.

Whatever you did next is up to you. Whether you took it on proudly and kept eating or walked off to your bedroom to cry, up to you.

Reactions

Scout

Scout's unfamiliar with queer people. He didn't know any, and he wasn't taught anything about them.

He is especially unfamiliar with queer men. If you are a queer man, he'd be asking you all the time when he first finds out:

"How don't you find her hot? Or her? Do you find 'dat asshole, Spy hot? Is 'dat how dis works???"

Not with the intention of being slightly offensive, though. Just curious because he kind of struggles to wrap his head around the fact you're queer.

He always had a feeling that you weren't straight as a line, though. He hung around you a lot, even if you were annoyed by him, because he kind of wanted to finally be an older brother because he's always been the youngest.

So this is all a learning experience for him.

He'd definitely stay quiet for a little while, scaring you, before he randomly approaches you the next day.

"So... you like, what... in ta' ladies/dudes?"

(If you like girls, he'd definitely be the guy to say, "Holy shit, me too!" As a way to bond)

"Yeah."

"That's cool... that's cool... wanna talk about it more, or do you wanna go play ball?"

"Play ball."

"Let's go play ball, 'den."

Nothing changes about your relationship. Although he does occasionally ask if someone is your type or not, wanting to learn more about you. But in the end, as long as you still wanna hang around with him, he'll be chill.

Engineer

Unlike Scout, he is educated in queer people. He knows a couple, and he thinks they're pretty cool. Medic is also out to him because he's definitely gay (and trans because I like it that way)

Absolutely nothing changes with Engineer. He doesn't treat you any different or ask you any questions, just continues as normal, but encourages you to talk to him about things because he's definitely experienced it himself.

"You know, you could'a told me that earlier. I wouldn't have judged ya'. I've roamed around that area myself a little too."

"YOU WHAT?!?"

He just likes to get out there and try random shit. He looks like a boring guy, but he's way deeper than the southern merc on the surface.

Just talk to him :(

Medic

He wasn't there when you accidentally came out. He was finishing up an experiment on some organs.

When someone does tell him about it, though, he can't care less because he's queer too.

He also transed his gender. It's not my problem, it's yours now.

Definitely did his own top surgery ngl. Madman. Also discovered how to extract testosterone from sources and synthetically make it. Officially, a pioneer in trans healthcare. Hit him up if you want sum.

He treats you normally because he really doesn't give a fuck. He basically comes out to you as well, though:

"So you don't care."

"Nope."

"Why...?"

"What do you think Heavy and I do while we are working together... and the rest of you are eating?"

"..."

"Wait a minute... wait a... oh."

"Ja."

"HOW ARE STILL ALIVE?! 😭"

Definitely in love with his unofficial soul mate, the Heavy weapons guy.

I'm gonna do parts to this, actually. I'll make a part 2 and a part 3 another day that is even more random. I just need a break cause this is just a little bit lengthy. Ty got reading and sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted 💀. I focused it a lot on the mercs instead of readers' anxiety.

Johnny gently rubs your clit for a little while, moving to bite your bottom lip and whispering the sweetest and dirtiest words you’ve ever heard him utter.

“It’s okay to be a little noisy, alright? It’s okay… you’re okay with daddy. You know that, right? Yeah, I know you do.” Johnny smiles and repositions himself so that he’s lying on top of your back.

He then probes around your pussy for some time before sliding a single, thick finger in. Your warm, velvety cunt wraps around it, and he can’t help but chuckle. You took him so damn well. No wonder he was obsessed with you.

“You’re such a good boy. A greedy boy too! Look at how much your tight pussy wants me, honey. So good… so good… Such a nice boy… taking that finger so well.” Johnny praises before adding another finger. It feels so much better, and you let out a loud whine so that he knows that you’re satisfied with his performance so far.

Johnny doesn’t stop there though, adding yet another finger into your sopping wet hole.

“Aaaaannnddd… that makes three… what an amazing little boy you are. So good, so amazing. You think you’re almost ready for daddy or do you need some more time, pretty boy? Completely up to you… I’ll take it as slow as you want, baby.” He coos and kissing the back of your neck, moving all three fingers inside of you and holding you as you move around.

Your entire body felt like it was on fire… but in the best possible way. It was hot and steamy and passionate, but it was Johnny. How could you ever resist Johnny Cage? Your thoughts were filled with the man, your daddy. Only your daddy. And the knot you feel deep inside you begins to tighten, just over Johnnys fingers.

You are taken completely over the edge though as he pulls his meaty fingers out and then pushes them back in at what you swore was inhuman speed. The knot snaps for the first time in forever and you squirt all over the sheets, crying and whimpering like a puppy. Johnny just adored all of it.

“What an amazing little boy. Good… good job… you haven’t had an orgasm like that in a while, huh? You think you can have another one, just for daddy? I promise that I’ll go easy on my beautiful boy…” He whispers, his rough voice barely making it through to you while you’re in a post orgasmic haze. But you make out enough to barely nod your head.

“Sorry baby, daddy’s gonna need a lot more than a nod.” He holds your face in his hands and places you onto his lap where you can feel the large bulge in his pants that is now pressing right up against your soft pussy now. The only thing you’re thinking of now is what it would be like to have that behemoth massage your insides, the veins running along your walls and making you shake like a delicate leaf.

You whisper some words of consent, and he wraps one arm around you and starts to gently play with your nipples. “Good boy, I knew you wanted something like this… I knew it… Such an amazing little toy for daddy. So well behaved, so obedient. You wouldn’t dare disobey me, huh?” He chuckles and kisses your cheek from behind.

Then, he settles the other one of his arms on your stomach, his hand deviously moving to touch your fleshy nub as he skilfully slips his pants and underwear off while you’re still in his lap. The tip of his cock is pressing against your silky flesh now, begging to slide inside of you.

“Let daddy hear how much you want his cock, baby.” He whispers and listens to the following sounds you make. Moans, whines, groans, and whimpers. He eats it all up with pleasure before the tip slowly enters you, dragging against your walls and making you even louder. Before it hits your g-spot though, he pulls out.

This warrants disappointment from you until he rams back inside and begins to fuck you in a steady yet agonising pace. Not fast enough to make you cum, not slow enough to have no affect on you. His mouth nips your earlobe, and he whispers, “C’mon, good boy… I know you want me to make you cum… I know you do, little one. Daddy’s got you… he just needs a little something from you first, alright? He needs you to fucking beg for it. Beg for my fucking cock, pretty boy.”

Broken moans and whines enter his ears from your open mouth. Johnny listens to you beg for him for what feels like an eternity before he gradually speeds up the pace he’s been fucking you. It’s almost as if he’s punishing you which only makes you cry.

He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy it.

“Am I making you dumb on my dick, honey? Really? I bet you like being fucked silly on my cock. You love it. I know you do. Daddy knows- daddy knows fucking everything about you. That’s why he’s so good at fucking you stupid- fucking- fuck… your pussy is so soft… so tight. Best pussy I’ve ever fucking felt! So soft… B- fucking bounce on it! Bounce on my fucking cock now, baby… come on, come on, come on!” Johnny fucks you hard and fast now, spearing you on his dick.

He's so close to coming himself now. He turns your face around to your side so that he can get a little look at your features, staring at how your eyes are rolled back and your mouth is open in pure dirty delight. Fuck, you were so beautiful…

Johnny then feels your walls clench around him, causing him to shout something before he spurts cum inside of you, making sure it lands inside your womb.

“Such a good boy… pretty boy… shhh… yeah… holy fucking shit… you’re- you’re gonna be an amazing father to our kids, hun.” He chuckles, slightly out of breath as he lowers you onto the bed, still intertwined with him through his cock.

It doesn’t look like he’s going to pull out anytime soon.