Did you know that both the highest and lowest point in the contiguous united states are only 85 miles apart? While this fact is not entirely new to me, it's something that was often discussed in my geology classes.
"Death Valley's Badwater Basin is the point of lowest elevation in North America, at 282 feet (86 m) below sea level. It is 84.6 miles (136.2 km) east-southeast of Mount Whitney — the highest point in the contiguous United States, with an elevation of 14,505 feet (4,421 m)."
I recently summited Mt.Whitney.
And as I was slowly making my way back down to the portal, i couldn't help but think about this seemingly trivial fact. Really giving it some weight, the mountains tend to do that to me. It was then when I started to feel anxiety taking over.
I realized I was at my high, and
the highest of highs are always followed by or preceded by the lowest of lows.
And there was no low, which meant it was coming.
What's it gonna be? What's it gonna look like? Feel like?
A lot has happened since Whitney. It's been a long three weeks, and i am exhausted. it seems like it keeps getting lower and lower
and everytime i think its over, something else happens.
it is low. it is dark. and scary.
and i'm not seeing any light right now. all i see, all i feel it darkness.
i want to die. i dont want to lie here. i want to die. i want it to stop.
i am sad. and triggers are everywhere these days. i am anxious. and alone. the flashbacks, the sicky icky feeling, the disassociation, the despair. it's all so heavy. and i am alone.
it feels almost like i never took my pack off since Whitney, and i'm just carrying all this shit around. yet refusing to let it go.
and i need to just let it fucking go
i did it, i climbed the mountain.
and now that phase of my life has ended. just like that....
i dont know what's next for me. in almost all aspects in my life. and that is absolutely terrifying to me. especially because this time, i will be doing it alone.
but there will be another mountain to climb, and i'm sure i'll eventually climb that one too.
and the next, and the next.
because life is a series of mountains, highs and lows.
kianamaiart
gamechangershow
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
