¿carpe diem?

Dwight is me

I’m not the mom friend, I’m the dad friend: tries to take care of his friends but is too distant and emotionally clumsy to be any good at it

there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you

when you see something and your heart sinks and youre just like oh ok then

Imagine if your follower count turned into money

morning sex is the best sex because you can’t hide behind anything. your hair probably looks like shit, your makeup is smeared, morning breath, I’m sure you drooled at some point in the night….. but someone still wants to kiss your lips and in between your thighs and touch your unshowered, no longer freshly shaven skin. like, if you can be comfortable enough with someone to let them do that, then that’s way cool and that’s why morning sex is the best

IM LAUGHING SO HARD. I THREW MY PHONE SO I COULD BREATHE

I love this post

It just keeps getting better

this is the only long ass post i’m ever going to reblog

It got even better😂😂😂😂

why the fuck do people always remind you that taco bell isn’t real mexican food like do you not think that i know that like do you think i go to taco bell because i think the 16 year old white guy behind the window just made me authentic mexican cuisine two minutes before i pulled to the second window no do you know why i go to taco bell it’s because it’s 1:30am and my life is terrible so i order a coke and five dorito loco tacos and shove them down my face in the parking lot

Should be commissioned as an ad for Taco Bell

Taco Bell has pepsi thooooo