Roselyn

itoshi rin

acts like he doesn't care. cares so much. like an unhealthy amount. 

sees "rin icantdoshi" for the first time. 

immediately throws his phone while trying to convince himself he isn't mad. 

the internet never lets him forget the france match. 

every single highlight video pauses right before the kick. giant red circle and red arrow. caption: "absolute benched." 

another edit: "when your teammate has the ball, but you're feeling a little silly.” 

everybody loses it. 

somebody posts: TOP 4 FRANCE PLAYERS 1. julian loki 2. charles chevalier 3. hugo vivian 4. NOT rin itoshi 

500K likes. he almost explodes. 

the worst one? somebody edits him in those bushes. the caption? "bush camper rin making sure isagi doesn’t get the shot." 

he blocks 18 accounts. all from the same person. 

sae likes one of the edits. 

rin nearly commits a homicide. 

itoshi sae

unfortunately, he’s completely unbothered. like genuinely. 

but then he sees "sofatoshi" trending. 

pauses. shrugs. keeps scrolling. 

the edits are brutal. clips of him sitting. sitting. sitting. sitting again. 

sitting somewhere else. 

sitting on cushions. 

sitting on a bench. 

sitting in a chair. 

sitting while watching soccer. 

caption: "bro's greatest opponent is standing up." 4 million views. 

somebody makes a fake stat graphic. 2026 SEASON - 0 calories burned - 12 naps - 45 hours sitting - 100 annoyed sighs 

sae bookmarks it. because it's funny. 

rin discovers this. "why did you like that post?" 

"because it was funny." 

"THEY CALLED YOU A BUM." 

"and?" 

somebody tweets: "if soccer required lounging, he'd be the goat." 

sae likes that one, too. 

people stop slandering him because he won't react. 

this somehow creates even more slander. 

nagi seishiro

okay so he gets eliminated. then he opens twitter. worst mistake of his life. 

first thing he sees: himself wearing a mcdonald's uniform. 

second thing he sees: another mcdonald's uniform. 

third thing: burger king. 

caption: "versatile employee." 

every edit has the same caption: "just put the fries in the bag bro." 

millions of likes. MILLIONS. 

ego doesn't even have to say anything. the internet is doing his job for him. 

somebody edits his blue lock jersey into a walmart vest. 

somebody else creates an entire fake employee schedule. NAGI SEISHIRO monday: cashier tuesday: fries wednesday: mop duty 

nagi stares at it. "that's a lot of work..." 

reo is trying to comfort him. accidentally makes it worse. "they don't know your talent." 

"reo, they gave me employee of the month." 

"..." 

"..." 

"it does look realistic." 

somebody makes a fake announcement: congratulations nagi on your promotion to shift manager!!! 

nagi turns his phone off for three business days. which is a lot coming from the phone addict he is. 

mikage reo

nobody talks about his soccer anymore. literally nobody. 

every comment section becomes: "WE GET IT BRO YOU LIKE NAGI." "MY TREASURE 🗣️🗣️🗣️" "bro thinks he's nagi's wife." 

the edits are merciless. 

somebody compiles every time reo has ever spoken about nagi. the video is 47 minutes long. caption: "obsession speedrun." 6 million views. 

another person makes a fake family tree. reo → nagi. that's it. that's the tree. 

he gets compared to ness constantly. (are we surprised?) 

somebody tweets: "reo and ness fighting over who can glaze harder." 800K likes. 

reo immediately blocks them. 

one day, he accidentally says "my treasure" during an interview. it doesn’t go well. the reaction is just silence. then the interviewer starts laughing. 

the clip gets posted everywhere. everybody quotes it. everybody. even nagi. 

nagi reposts it with: "my treasure 💜" 

reo has to put his phone face down and stare at the ceiling for 20 minutes. 

getting slandered by the internet is manageable. getting slandered by nagi is fatal 💀 

bachira meguru

bachira's biggest enemy isn't defenders. it isn't rin. it isn't isagi. it's the bench. 

the moment he gets subbed out one time, the internet immediately starts calling him benchira. 

somebody posts a picture of the blue lock bench, zooms in, and circles one seat. 

the caption: "bachira's natural habitat." 1.8 million likes. 

he laughs at it, too. huge mistake. because now everyone thinks he's okay with the slander. 

they're making edits daily. one video is just bachira running onto the field. then immediately cutting to him sitting down again. the caption: "he's tired guys." 

another edit shows every important blue lock player. rin scoring. isagi scoring. barou scoring. bachira smiling on the bench. caption: "supportive king." 

bachira reposts it. "this one's funny." 

BACHIRA STOP ENCOURAGING THEM??? 

he doesn't stop, that’s the problem. 

eventually, somebody edits him into a gaming chair. not even the bench anymore. a gaming chair. headset on. snacks beside him. the caption: "coach put me in." 

the worst one? somebody tweets: "bachira gets front row seats to every match." 

he laughs so hard he accidentally likes it. now it's his most viral interaction ever. 

kaiser michael

kaiser sees "kaiser misspact." 

he blinks. reads it again. blinks harder. 

mind you, this is michael kaiser. one of the most arrogant human beings on earth. missing isn't supposed to happen. yet, unfortunately, the internet remembers everything. especially failure. 

somebody posts the clip – the miss. then immediately cuts to a stormtrooper shooting compilation. 5 million views. 

kaiser almost throws his phone into the ocean. 

every time he scores now, the comments are: "rare hit." "finally landed one." "the kaiser impact connected 😭😭😭" 

he hates all of them. 

somebody creates a fake move set. KAISER IMPACT accuracy: 3 confidence: 100 aura: 1000+ actually hitting the target: questionable 

another edit compares him to those cartoon characters that miss everything. 

kaiser starts typing a response. deletes it. starts typing again. deletes it again. responding would somehow make it worse and his PR team stresses that. 

then ness sees it. "they're just jealous of your genius." 

"i know." 

"the shot was still beautiful." 

"i know." 

"the trajectory was revolutionary." 

"i know." 

"the miss was intentional." 

kaiser pauses. "... it was not intentional." 

"oh." 

even worse? every time he winds up for a shot now, social media comments become: INCOMING MISSPACT EVERYBODY DUCK PROTECT THE CROWD 

kaiser has never hated a fanbase more. 

ness alexis

come on now, there is genuinely no defending him. absolutely none 🙁 

the internet doesn't even slander him anymore. they just post things he actually said and let the comments do the rest. 

every compilation starts the same. ness talking about kaiser. another clip of ness talking about kaiser. another clip. another clip. another clip. another clip. 14 minutes later. still talking about kaiser. 

caption: "alexis ness discovers other topics challenge (he doesn’t)." millions of likes. 

somebody makes a fake google search: “alexis ness hobbies” kaiser michael kaiser watching kaiser talking about kaiser

that's it. no other hobby. 

another person edits him into a job interview. interviewer: "tell us about yourself." ness: "michael kaiser." interviewer: "you're hired." 

the comments are crine. 

somebody creates a fake pokédex entry. ALEXIS NESS type: kaiser ability: glazing weakness: being separated from kaiser 

ness blocks the account. the account gains 40K followers overnight. 

kaiser doesn't help. at all 🫩 

somebody asks kaiser: "how do you feel about the meatrider allegations?" 

kaiser immediately responds: "which ones?" 

"..." 

"there are several." 

ness almost dies on the spot. 

the final boss of ness slander appears when somebody edits his face onto a medieval knight kneeling before a king. giant text: SIR GLAZALOT. sword raised. tears in his eyes. kaiser sitting on the throne looking annoyed. 8 million likes. 

ness reports the post. the report gets denied because even the moderation team was laughing 💀 

yukimiya kenyu

yukimiya makes the mistake of opening tik tok after a match. 

the first comment he sees: "kenyudosomething 😭😭😭" 

second comment: "kenyuevenplay?" 

he closes the app. opens twitter. it’s the same comments. opens instagram. it’s the same comments. opens youtube. it’s the SAME. 

the internet has decided that yukimiya's greatest achievement is being physically present. 

somebody posts a full match analysis. 45 minutes long. the title: "finding yukimiya kenyu (EXTRA impossible challenge).” 

it's literally just zooming into random parts of the field. "there he is." "never mind." 

another edit compares him to a rare pokemon encounter. caption: "you've encountered a wild yukimiya!" chance of appearance: 0.04%. 

every time he touches the ball, now the comments explode. HE'S REAL HE MOVED MY GOAT IS ALIVE 

somebody posts a fake stat sheet. YUKIMIYA KENYU aura: 99 modeling ability: 100+ screen time: loading… 

the comments are brutal. 

one person tweets: "bro's greatest skill is photobombing important moments." 300K likes. 

yukimiya spends the next hour staring at a wall. because unfortunately, it was kind of funny. 

aryu jyubei

aryu's slander is so disrespectful. why? it doesn't even sound like slander. it sounds like genuine concern. 

every post: "aryuserious 💔" "whyaryustillplaying 💔💔💔" "aryu okay buddy??" 

somebody posts a clip of him making a mistake. caption: "he's trying his glamorous best." 

the comments are sending condolences. CONDOLENCES. like he died. 

somebody makes a fake charity campaign: SAVE ARYU FOUNDATION. donations supposedly go toward helping him beat the allegations. 

another post compares him to a luxury car – beautiful, expensive, absolutely useless in certain weather conditions. aryu nearly faints. 

the worst one? somebody edits his player introduction. all the cool dramatic music gets replaced with funeral piano music. text fades onto the screen: "gone, but never forgotten." 

he's literally still alive. still playing. yet the comments are saying: "rest easy king." "he would've loved blue lock." "taken from us too soon." 

aryu has never recovered. 

hiori yo

hiori's slander starts with one singular tweet: "when my mom asks if i did the dishes and i respond with hiori yo so she knows they're washed." 6 million likes. 

hiori has no idea what's happening. 

the internet immediately decides he's washed. not kinda. not maybe. straight up retirement-home washed. 

every comment section becomes unbearable. 

somebody posts: "what happened to bro 💔" 

hiori is 17 years old. 

another tweet: "prime hiori would've completed that pass." 

the clip attached happened 30 seconds ago. 

somebody makes a fake timeline: HIORI YO PRIME – 2018-2019. that's it. one year. 

every mistake gets treated like the fall of an empire. 

hiori misplaces a pass. the comments become: HE'S WASHED GET READY TO LEARN RETIREMENT HOME BUDDY UNC STATUS ACHIEVED 

somebody edits wrinkles onto him. somebody else gives him a cane. another person edits him into one of those mobility scooters. caption: "hiori yo after completing a sprint." 2 million likes. 

hiori stares at his phone. "i'm literally a teenager." 

nobody cares. 

somebody posts: "back in my day, hiori used to be special." 

hiori is still actively playing. 

isagi sees one of the edits and immediately starts laughing. biggest mistake of his life. because now the comments are: "isagi laughing like he's not next." (but we already did isagi so that’s enough.) 

hiori actually ends up liking some of the memes about himself. mostly because they're so stupid. 

his favorite one is a fake news headline: VETERAN HIORI YO REFLECTS ON HIS ONE-YEAR CAREER. 

even he has to admit that one's kind of funny. 

aiku oliver

being called oliver aikantdefend genuinely changes him. 

he's a defender. that's the job. that's literally the whole job. 

yet every mistake becomes international news. 

somebody posts a clip of him getting cooked. giant text: "best defender in japan btw." 2 million likes. 

every time somebody dribbles or kicks the ball past him, the comments arrive instantly. AIKANTDEFENDSHIT 😭😭😭 OLIVER AIKU YOU ARE THE FATHER 

nobody knows what that last one means. it still gets 50K likes. 

somebody makes a fake resume. OLIVER AIKU defender ❌ observer ✅ 

another one – special skills: watching goals happen. 

aiku is sick. physically sick. 

the france match somehow makes everything worse. people start posting fake wanted posters. MISSING: DEFENSE. last seen near oliver aiku. reward offered. 

somebody edits him into a security guard uniform. except every criminal walks right past him. 

another edit compares him to those automatic doors. cuz apparently everyone gets through. send help. 

the worst one? somebody posts a graph. THINGS OLIVER AIKU CAN DEFEND his modeling career ✔️ his hairline ✔️ his reputation ❌ the goal ❌ 

even sendou reposts it with: "LMAOOOO." 

aiku immediately unfollows him. then follows him again five minutes later because he accidentally liked the post himself. 

deep down, even he thought it was funny. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

As megumi gives you the signal, you clear your throat, looking over at the clock, exactly 1:00 AM, before leaning into the mic before you.

"Is this thing on?" You nodded, as the four of you sat down, yuuji and megumi by the controllers, you and nobara by the telephone, "Good evening, or good morning, whoever prefers whatever, welcome back to DeadAir FM, this is your host, and with me I have my very lovable squad, Yuuji, who is currently eating into the microphone,"

Yuuji scrambles as he hears his name, pushing away the pack of chips from his hand, "No I'm not-"

"We all hear it." Nobara rolls in her chair, "Your very own Nobara, my GOAT, honestly, and finally, everybody's favourite grumpy guy, Megumi!"

Megumi lets out a gruff sound, followed by a small 'hey.'

"Well, today's topic of dicussion is based on something we've all noticed a major online discourse over, especially in tokyo-"

"-what makes a bowl of ramen, a good bowl of ramen." Yuuji completed your sentence, as megumi added a sound effect accordingly, before letting you continue, "It's obviously the broth."

"You're wrong!" Nobara chimes in, "It's the toppings, i'm not going to eat a bowl of ramen if it's just chicken broth and rice noodles, toppings add flavour, depth and sometimes even texture, and most of all, they make the bowl look appetizing. a simple bowl with brown liquid and white noodles makes me want to look away, add a nice egg, some mushrooms, a fat grilled pork and narutomaki- i'm dowing that bowl in 10 minutes max."

"That's actually not true- i don't care how pretty your egg is when the broth absoluetly sucks! it's the base, see- it's the basic fundamental, if your base is bad, then everything is bad."

"You're both so wrong." Megumi shakes his head, leaning into his own microphone, "it's the noodles."

A brief silence follows, before yuuji snickers, earning a side eye from the dark haired boy, "if the noodles are bad, you're just drinking soup."

"...thats, suprisingly very true" yuuji nods, "i personally think it's about the company"

"oh my god" you and nobara say in sync, making the two of you burst out laughing. The phone rings, "Okay, let's hear what the streets of tokyo have to say, caller number one, you're on air!"

The voice from the telephone is of an exhausted man, as he hums, "uh, I think ramen tastes better after midnight."

Nobara let out a small 'tsk' sound, "that's not an ingredient, bud."

"Well yeah, but, if you're having ramen at 3 PM, it's food, like anything else, it's to sustain, but if i'm having it at 2 AM, it's a whole different emotion, i'm not eating it to sustain, i'm eating it because i have an emotional attachment to it."

The four of you look at each other, before you nod, "that's, that's beautiful and weird at the same time- but yeah, i totally get you. ramen after midnight hits different."

"Well, thank you to our caller for sharing his lovely opinion with us."

"Talking about ramen after midnight... there's this ramen place, open behind a laundromat, which has become quite the talk of the town in the past few weeks, with lines long enough for you to mistake a famous idol serving you ramen-"

Nobara joins in, "-i mean, the staff was no less than idols, let me tell you that."

"Malevolent kitchen, that's the name. sounds omnious, and honestly, lowkey scary. well, to check out the hype, your very own crew decided to visit the place," you took in a deep breath, "and, safe to say, we weren't dissapointed, but-"

"wait wait, let's read some reviews from our audience first, and then onto our own."

Yuuji picks up his phone, "the first one says that 'the ramen was so good i think my tastebuds can never go back to basic cup noodles every again.'"

Megumi joins in, "another one states 'the food was an absolute masterclass, the customer service was despicable. the cashier kept trying to give me advice about my hair.'" you snickered at his words, grabbing a few of the chips yuuji was eating.

"Here, this one says 'the chef looks like a member of yakuza, one look and i feel like he's putting bullets through my chest.'"

"it's the tattoos," Nobara chimes in, "no, the piercings," megumi speaks, followed by you, "or maybe the fact that he does infact glare at people like they've personally offended him and his family- but seriously, why does he look so, scary?"

"Hype moments and aura"

"Fair enough" You hummed, "I don't think he likes people."

"That's because he doesn't" Yuuji nodded, before nobara throws in, "how can you be so sure?"

"Well, i've kinda known him my entire life."

Megumi clears his throat, "for context, the head chef who runs the place is yuuji's twin brother."

"The evil twin."

"He's not evil!"

"Jury's still out."

"Well, i personally don't like the man, because he refused my very, very gentle request to lower the spice." You huffed into the mic, "I mean- honestly, if you're running a kitchen, the least you can do is listen to your customers!"

"I mean..." Nobara and yuuji shrug, before megumi speaks up, "well, he's somewhat correct. if a dish is designed in a certain way-"

"Oh my god megumi has joined the dark side!" you gasped dramatically, "betrayed by my own best friend" the small studio dissolves into laughter.

The four of you continue the convesation for about another 20 minutes, tuning in some calles, listening to each other ramble, the usual, before finally closing in at around 1:47 AM.

"Well, this has been DeadAir FM for you all, if you're at work, good luck, if you're at home, sweet dreams, and if you're standing in line waiting for your bowl of ramen behind a laundromat, tell the chef the spice policy sucks."

tokyo doesn’t sleep. it stress-scrolls, chain-smokes outside convenience stores, and lines up behind an unmarked laundromat at 2am for the best food in the city.

hidden behind a flickering exit sign, sukuna ryomen’s midnight kitchen has become an urban legend: impossible reservations, life-changing ramen, and a head chef with anger issues severe enough to qualify as a health hazard. backed by his equally dysfunctional staff, an overfunding investor, an emotionally exhausted manager, a terrifying supplier, an unemployed handyman, and the world’s most patient sous chef, the kitchen survives entirely on chaos, caffeine, and spite.

meanwhile, across town, the late-night radio show dead air fm is accidentally becoming the voice of every insomniac in tokyo. hosted by yours truly, and held together by your disaster crew, the show thrives on messy callers, terrible life advice, and one recurring topic: the mysterious chef whose food apparently causes emotional damage.

what starts as on-air complaints about sukuna’s personality quickly spirals into a citywide obsession with your bizarre chemistry. listeners are invested. your friends are taking bets. gojo is actively trying to monetize the tension.

and sukuna, who claims to hate you, has somehow memorized your usual order.

a/n: i really like this idea i hope y'all like this too PLEASE dont flop it thank you guys

also art credits in the banner/pfp goes to @/hunnismoker , @/to_0fu , @/thatsallitchief , @/uuuke0_0

DEAD AIR FM CREW

༄ y/n the host ༄ yuuji co-host ༄ megumi editor ༄ nobara pr manager

MIDNIGHT CHAOS

༄ ryomen head chef ༄ satoru investor/promoter/self-acclaimed social media manager ༄ suguru damage control ༄ yuki supplier ༄ toji maintanence/security ༄ choso sous chef

3:13 AM

There were only two kinds of people up at this hour; insomniacs and psychopaths. Also people who thought a midnight run kitchen truly existed behind a rundown laundromat.

Sadly for you, you and your friends were the third one.

The neon red signed flickered, violently.

OPEN PEN EN N

"I don't know, seems pretty shady." Nobara shrugged from beside you, applying lip gloss to her already glossy lips.

"People are eating, though." You pointed out to the few people eating their food, some taking their orders from the window labelled 'PICK UP' and few others ordering under the window 'ORDER HERE'

"Yeah but how do we know this one is the same one as Yuuji's brothers?" Megumi did make a good point.

"Guys, trust me, this is the address. Look, me and Sukuna may have some differences, but I'm sure he won't give me a fake address to his kitchen." Yuuji replied, confidence seeping in his words. A few days ago, Yuuji had the relevation that his twin brother was running a whole ass midnight kitchen, and he didn't even had the audacity to tell him. How rude.

"You'd hope so." You and Megumi responded at the same time, sighing. Before you stepped further, the door slammed open, an angry, older version of Yuuji bursting out, wearing a clingy black tshirt, jeans and a white apron, pink hair slicked back, piercings glinting in the moonlight.

“If you’re not going to fucking order, then leave. Damn brats.” The door was slammed shut as quickly as it opened, leaving the four of you dumbfounded. "Well, atleast we know the address wasn't a fake out" You shrugged, as the four of you made your way towards the order window.

After waiting for about 15 minutes, your turn finally came. In the order window, was a very, very gorgeous man, about a few years older than all four of you, his hair tied back in a half pony, long hair tucked neatly, "What can I get ya?" He smiled, as Yuuji leaped forward "Do I get family discount?"

"..I'm afraid not, sorry bud."

You and Megumi shared a look, trying your best not to laugh, before Nobara stepped forward, "We'll do 4 of the whatever tonight's special is."

You chirped in from behind, "Could one of those be low heat??"

"Sukuna doesn't do adjustments. Sorry. That'll be... ¥3200." The cash register dinged, as he handed you out your bill, a dumbfounded expression on your face, as Megumi paid for the order.

"Great, your order will be ready sometime between 10 minutes and 15 minutes, be at the pick up counter. Thanks for coming."

✩ Lockscreen S. Nagi

If Nagi had to be described in one word, it'd be a screenager.

It was at a team meeting and Nagi's phone was on the charger, that's when his screen lit up with a notification.

"Uh Nagi? Who's this?" Hiori asked, looking at the woman on his wallpaper. Turning over he simply said, "my girlfriend."

"Oh Y/N? She's really pretty..." Reo added, smiling at the picture.

"Hey," He yawned, "only I can say that." But he didn't really care. It was true, you were pretty and he was more shocked no one knew about you beforehand.

✩ Hickeys R. Itoshi

Rin barely talked to his teammates. If it wasn't about soccer or their skills he didn't give a damn.

When they were trying on their away kits for the upcoming match he was reminded as to why he ignored them so often.

"Ooh Rin~ Looks like you have a monster of your own hmm?" Bachira chuckled. And before Rin could roll his eyes and ask what the tepid loser was on about, he got a good look at himself in the mirror.

Damn your little thigh kink.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't call her a monster." Rin scoffed, but putting on the shorts with haste.

"You mean you found someone to date you..?" Isagi laughed, "poor girl."

"You saw what my thighs looked like, imagine hers." He muttered, leaving the locker room and leaving the boys inside of it surprised as hell.

✩ Engagement ring S. itoshi

Like his brother, Sae didn't interact much with his teammates unless it was deemed necessary. It wasn't in a malicious way, he just felt like they had nothing to offer so he felt there was no need in talking to them.

Usually after practice Sae showered, changed, grabbed his bag and headed home.

And he did the same thing happened today, except there was one thing different.

This time he took a second to slip on a gold Cartier band onto his finger before grabbing his bag to leave.

"Sae Itoshi." Aiku walked over to him with an amused look on his face, "You're engaged?"

That caught the attention of everyone else changing in the room.

"Yeah." Was all he said as he turned on his heel to leave.

"Wait," He grabbed his shoulder, "we didn't even know you were seeing anyone."

"Why would you, It's not like it's any of your business." And with that he left, leaving the other U-20 players to think.

How in the world did Sae find someone to put up with his attitude?

a/n thank you to @tojislovergirl and @bluukive for helping me out with some of the prompts in this one :))

requested by @strawberryshortcakkitty

smau taglist: @saturnsurn @cisseadven @angelica-115 @chosos-prettyprincess @chewiebee @renrenrenren17 @sug4rk1tty @seungkwansflower @henzypoo @dayhsdreaming @jinjoohaaa @godofstory @venusins @strawberryshortcakkitty @chloeee20 @anthy-jay-ander @winkii @claymoreshaze @sxpernova @serennovasworld @r0vena @ophirei @love-d-luxe @letis1a @msdarkshadow @duckie3801 @turtlefairyy @estrnrea @kurtcobaingirlie @tojiscreampie @kekeanna266

📁 Surveillance on Toji Fushiguro Date: ███████ Report by: Shiu Kong

13:00 – Fushiguro is observed watching Love Island. Volume set to medium. Dog approaches. Fushiguro pets it without looking away from the screen.

13:07 – Fushiguro verbally reacts to the show: “That guy’s an idiot.” Pauses. Adds: “You deserve better, sweetheart.” Unknown if statement directed at TV contestant or dog. 13:22 – Fushiguro feeds the dogs. He is… speaking to them. Tone markedly altered in a higher pitch. Uses phrases such as “atta girl” and "pedigree you scum" I briefly consider aborting the mission.

13:24 – Fushiguro calls one of the dogs “stinky ballsack.” I am later informed the dog’s actual name is Totality. Fushiguro kisses the dog on the head.

14:10 – Fushiguro exits residence. Carries an extra jacket despite already wearing one.

14:42 – Fushiguro retrieves his current wife, ████, from work. Takes her bag. Asks if she’s eaten. Receives playful insult in return. Smiles. Is not repulsive to affection.

15:03 – Fushiguro and ████ stops for snacks. Fushiguro complains about prices. Buys snacks anyway. Hands over the “better one” without being asked.

16:30 – Returns home. Immediately greeted by dogs.

18:00 – No further hostile activity observed. Fushiguro cooks dinner. Burns nothing. Eats with family. Tsumiki and Megumi have grown up well.

19:10 – Fushiguro falls asleep on the couch mid episode. Dogs are sleeping on his chest. Does not move but snores loudly.

CONCLUSION: Fushiguro is no longer operational. Subject is living peacefully as a civilian and shows zero interest in returning to the field.

NOTES: Fushiguro's dogs are Dipshit, Idiot), and Ballsack. It is important to note that all three are to be referred to as 'Sweet Angels.'

RECOMMENDATION: We are never getting this man back. The agency should cease surveillance immediately and begin searching for a replacement. Preferably one without pets.

© getokive. ┈ masterlist

₊˚: ꒰ taglist ꒱ ₊˚:

his voice is strange, quieter.

you turn to him, brows lifting. “what is it?”

for once, he looks genuinely unsure.

sukuna glances at the washing machine, then at the basket of unfolded clothes, then back at you as if searching for the least ridiculous place in the room to focus.

“i had a plan,” he sighs, voice trembling.

you blink. “for the laundry?”

“for this,” he corrects you, and then, to your complete shock, he reaches into the pocket of his sweatpants.

and pulls out a small velvet box.

“sukuna—”

“before you say anything,” he interrupts quickly, almost suspiciously flustered, “i was going to do this at dinner.”

you look at him, stunned and already smiling.

he scowls at the floor. “but every time i take you out, i get nervous.”

that make you laugh softly. “you? nervous?”

his gaze snaps to yours, and there is something so vulnerable beneath the annoyance that your heart melts.

“with you, yes.”

your breath catches.

he opens the box, revealing a ring that sparkled under the dim laundry room light.

then dramatically drops down to one knee.

“so i figured,” he continues, voice rougher now, “if i asked you here, while we’re arguing over socks and detergent, maybe i wouldn’t lose my mind.”

a laugh escapes you, watery with tears.

“are you proposing to me in the laundry room?”

“i am proposing to you beside a cursed washing machine and a pink shirt,” he says dryly, shrugging. “try to appreciate the romance.”

you laugh harder, covering your mouth.

he stands up straight, then he steps closer, one hand cupping your cheek.

“marry me,” he says softly. “let me spend the rest of my life ruining laundry and making you laugh.”

your eyes burn with happy tears. “yes,” you whispers, then louder, smiling so hard it hurt, “yes, of course i’ll marry you.”

for the first time all evening, sukuna looked relieved.

then the washer beeps loudly, and you both glance at it.

“your shirt is still pink,” you laugh agaisnt him.

he slips the ring onto your finger and pulls you into his arms, lips brushing your forehead.