The soukantoku just staring at the closing dressing room door blankly. Then she heard footsteps were fading away through the hallway gradually.
Exhaled a heavy breathe, Yokoyama Yui rose from her seat and stretch her body, she looking around the empty room mind absently, lightly shook her head then murmured “The risk of being a charming woman.”
Although her energy was all drained, physically and mentally, Jurina couldn’t even find sleep in the slightest. Her mind was too busy to wandering around that she got bored of it, and the cause was… Miyawaki Sakura herself.
Snorted, Jurina leaned her head against the glass window of the Shinkansen. Her eyes gazing out of the window, seeing the unclear sight distractingly while helplessly trying to stop thinking about that girl.
Yui’s words suddenly submerged her messed up mind, The Soukantoku was right, Jurina loved her, but actually not only her physics. She loves all of Sakura. It was indeed impossible to resist her, let alone ignore her.
But that certain night was what thrilled Jurina the most.
She didn’t know what kind of demon that possessed her that night, but the moment when she have got Sakura beneath her, she lost control instantly.
She just wanted to ravish Sakura so badly. That urge was strangely stronger than anything, even than herself.
That time she just wanted to feel, to see, and to smell Sakura. She never desired somebody that strong before.
But however, she didn’t sure if the relationship between Sakura and her would remaining the same after this. But she was sure she’ll need forever to let Sakura go if she didn’t want to talk to her anymore. They probably would talk if it related with work and such.
Just thinking about it had made her wanted to cry, but the now adult Jurina had made her own decision. And whatever it was, she made sure it was the best for everyone.
When Rena’s apartment door appeared in front of her eyes, Jurina’s legs began to trembled. But she nonetheless kept moving them, hearing her own footsteps filling the vacant hallway softly.
She lifted up her fist, bumped it against the wooden door before her a few times. Waiting for the person across it to respond. She still waiting patiently, but seconds passed and there was still no answer come.
She repeated her action, this time knocked just a little harder to make sure Rena heard it clearly. And it worked, a muffled noises sounded, and a haste footsteps following not longer after.
Jurina straightened her posture as she heard the key was turned inside the keyhole, the door soon cracked open. “Yes?”
A familiar face greeted her, Jurina could tell that she was definitely not expecting a guest at this late hour, but when their eyes met, Rena’s expression changed.
“Jurina?!” Rena exclaimed with a soft yelp, pulled the door even wider to presented herself fully. The door indeed opened wide, so did Jurina’s eyes as she found what Rena wore that time.
Renawas wearing a plain, silky shirt that probably two sizes bigger on her with the two top buttons left undone. Jurina could see her matching black underwears through it. “Hi…” Jurina spoke awkwardly, scratching her nape while trying to just ignore that they were Victoria Secret. “Sorry to come unwarningly,”
“It’s fine.” Rena murmured,
“Come in.” Rena took a few steps backwards and let the younger Matsui enter, “Thanks.”
The first thing Jurina noticed was the room was poor lighted, maybe Rena had prepared to sleep since it was quite late already, however it was very important so she just had to put that point aside.
“Is there.. anything you need?” Rena questioned after pushed the door closed, seeing Jurina still stood in the living room in the darkness. “Oh, I… um-”
An unexpected voice came from another room so suddenly, caused both women to jolted in alert, “Ah, that’s my cellphone.” Rena told with a faint smile then dragging her bare legs to walked pass by Jurina, “I’ll get that first.”
Jurina gave a nod at Rena’s words, decided to took a seat on the couch calmly. Yes, she looked calm in the outside… while her inner was completely in panic.
Jurina didn’t know what she have to say first, her intentions to come here. Before her feet landed on this place Jurina confidently declared that she could this, she had arranged all the things she would say.
But just a briefest glance from Rena made her felt petrified. She forgot everything.
Minutes had passed, and Rena didn’t seemed will come back anytime soon. Jurina stood up then turned around, decided to following the older Matsui into her bedroom to check her up. When she reached the bedroom, Rena’s mature and soothing scent was filling her nosestrills all over.
She extended her arm to pushed the door with her palm, discovered that the older Matsui was sat on her queen-sized bed while held her phone against her ear, while the other hand held some papersーprobably a script.
“I understand. Yes.” Jurina heard Rena spoke gently, noticing her divided attention between the papers and sometimes to the ceiling. “Okay,” Rena’s lips tugged into a small smile as she spotted the guest initiate to approach.
“Good night.” Rena had ended the call when Jurina got nearer, she put the phone away and frowned as she witnessed Jurina’s tensed expression. “Is something wrong?”
Jurina quickly shook her head at the question, calmly took a seat on the edge beside Rena. “Can I see those?” Jurina requested, refered to the papers in Rena’s hand.
The mature woman handed them without any words, her mind wondering why did Jurina acting this way, it wasn’t unreadable at all, even Rena had known the younger Matsui for years, her behaviour tonight was totally didn’t make any sense.
“Another drama?” Jurina chirped, held the pages with both of her hands while read the content seriously, or trying to acted serious. “Mmm,” Rena hummed, scooted closer to Jurina’s body and peek over her shoulder “But I haven’t decide whether to accept it or not,”
“Why?” Jurina asked quriously, turning one of the page by her fingers and continued to read. “I’m still… considering it.” Rena simply answered, which only responded by a shrugg.
“You’re going to do a kissing scene, are you?” Jurina suddenly pointed out, her tone turned a bit sarcastic. “Well, I must do it no matter what.” Rena said without changing her gentle tone.
A small sigh escaped Jurina’s lips as she slumped her shoulders, she lifted her head then shot the older woman a weak smile, “You’re right.” She exclaimed, gathering the papers in one hand then handed them back.
Rena was about to accepted them, but her eyes suddenly took an interest to Jurina’s left hand, “Wait,” she chimed, put away the papers like she did to her phone and grabbed Jurina’s hand carefully “What happened to your knuckles?”
“Oh, that? Just an accident, it will heal fast.” Jurina tried to convincing her, slowly pulling her arm back from Rena’s grasp. “Please be more careful.”
Jurina nodded obediently at Rena’s small pleading tone.
Nervousness began to possessed Jurina’s body, she was kept on looking down and nibbling her lip while trying to find a proper start to tell the topic she intend to tell. But the thought that, Rena was only wearing that transparent fabric made her hard to think straight.
The older Matsui also seemed a bit nervous, doing her best to keep calm and figure out what was on Jurina’s mind. But again… the thought that they were just alone on her bed made her can’t keep cool like usual.
They had an eye contact as they realize they just called each other’s names simultaneously, the staring contest lasted for a few seconds before out of the blue… they burst into laugh.
The ice melted with every soft laughs from their mouths, it was such a coincidence.
“You first,” Jurina told when her laughs had a little decreased, “No, no, you first.” Rena refused and returning the chance.
Jurina had stopped her laugh completely, now looking at the older girl before her with a piercing gaze, “Rena, I…”
“Yes?” She whispered, inching her face even closer towards Jurina’s, forcing the eye contact. “I want us to…”
Rena waited patiently, but Jurina was obviously too nervous or scared to say it, she kept moving closer that she could feel her breath caressing the surface of her lips.
Hypnotized, she found Rena already cupped her cheeks and captured her lips in a tender kiss, her fingers started caressing the skin soothingly.
Powerless, Jurina couldn’t even react. She wasn’t replied the kiss but didn’t rejecting either. It felt like Rena kissed her at the SKE48 Theater that time, but it wasn’t the same at all.
Rena was surprisingly being bolder, didn’t hesitate adding more pressure in the kiss and come even closer. The caresses on her cheeks were not helping at all, they just made her felt weak.
After a while, Rena broke the kiss but kept their faces close. Her sleepy eyes staring at Jurina’s impenetrable ones, though it was really mysterious, Rena confidently continued the kiss.
Jurina was remaining passive and unrespondsive, as if playing hard to get, but when the older girl used her teeth to bit her lip, Jurina reacted by parted them, and slowly… replied the kiss.
Finally received some reaction, Rena flinched a little before threw her arms towards the other girl, wrapped them around her neck to deepen the kiss which started to get heated.
Their tounges now tangled in a sweet fight of dominance, their closed eyes were a sign of enjoyment. Jurina furrowed her eyebrows as she sense Rena was pulling her body closer and closer onto the bed, until she could feel their burning skins radiating onto each other.
Jurina was about retreated from the lip lock, but Rena didn’t allow her to. She quickly tightened her hold and locking her in place, while still enjoying the connection of their heated kiss. Jurina had gave up.
Sensing there was no another intention to separate their lips, Rena was the one who did it. Her action doesn’t mean ended everything, instead the opposite.
She brought her lips towards Jurina’s inviting neck, made her body shivered at the first contact. Jurina shutted her eyes close all the time, Rena’s kiss, touch, and embrace were driving her crazy. Her vision was strangely a total blank.
She didn’t know how or why, but in a matter of seconds later Jurina found herself pinning the older girl against the bed, Rena’s shirt was parted and her undergarments were freely exposed.
She squeezed Jurina’s hair when she felt wet and warm tounge was traveling the skin of her neck, and palm greedily touching her flat stomach below, teasing the butterflies inside.
Rena knew she gave a total access to her, leave all the work to Jurina. She let Jurina does all she wanted; kiss her, touch her, pet her,… fuck her. She didn’t care anymore.
When Jurina landed her palms on Rena’s still cladded breasts, and about to kiss the middle of them… Jurina stopped completely.
She let out a growl, eventually created some distance between their bodies by get on her hands and knees , her eyes now looking at anywhere but the woman beneath her.
“Why… did you stop?” Rena asked in a breathless whisper, still had her arms around Jurina’s neck.
Jurina’s mouth twitching, she felt her eyes hot and started to wet, her lungs tighten and it’s getting hard to breath for her. She didn’t cruel enough to say it… she can’t.
“Rena…” Jurina began, finally found some strength to look at her eyes, “I can’t do this.”
Rena froze, unable to give a proper respond as her heart now felt stopped beating. Her eyes refused to look away from Jurina’s, confused, puzzled, and slightly mellow.
“But… I love you,” Jurina’s chest flutterd at the words from Rena’s lips, she squeezed her eye close again and shook her head “… I love you too,”
She felt Rena clenched her fingers on her shirt, Jurina regretted to not keeping her eyes close as she now witnessed Rena’s hurtful expression.
“But it doesn’t mean we can be together…”
Tears streaming down Rena’s cheeks, hard and uncontrol. But her face didn’t show any emotions, flat and stoic. “Listen to me,” Jurina spoke with her broke voice, using her thumb to wipe the tears gently “We have to stop loving each other.”
No words come from Rena’s, she was incapable of doing anything anymore now, “I can’t do this… I don’t want to do this.” Jurina told painfully, taking Rena’s hands from her shoulders carefully. “… I can’t be your only one.”
It felt like de javu for Rena. Same place, same person, … same feelings. Except this was much more aching. “Please find someone who’s better than me.”
Jurina gave a light squeeze on Rena’s hands, then let them go and fell on Rena’s sides slowly. She leaned down, pressing a long deep kiss on Rena’s forehead while closing her eyes, savoring every moment slowly so they can last long at least for a while.
Jurina whispered her last farewell, got up and climbing down from bed unsteadily. Stepping outside her bedroom with a shaky breath.
I lose, Rena thought. Sakura wins.
A bitter smile curved on her lips, she felt pathetic. Tears still rolling down from her eyes, crumbled down as she heard Jurina opened her apartment door then closing it back.
Jurina left her, with every steps she took that getting far, Rena finally received her karma.
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