This, literally every single time. I only waited tables for nine months, part-time, while in high school, living with my parents, at a restaurant owned by my next door neighbors, who were wonderful folks.
But even with my literally zero stakes while working there, that brief experience was all it took for me to learn to always be compassionate to anyone serving me in any capacity, and to always tip as if their life depends on it, because it very likely does. I learned that it was hard. work. I learned that mistakes that occur in the kitchen can impact you, even though you weren’t the one who screwed up. I learned that sometimes you can put everything you have into giving people a good experience… and still have them leave without tipping, for no reason you can discern. I learned that depending on the good will of others, and of your ability to be appropriately servile and pleasant enough for them in order to secure your income can be disheartening and nerve-wracking, at the very least.
All of this is magnified a hundred-fold when you’re doing this kind of work to pay rent. To buy food. To support a family. To get thru school. To pay off medical debts. And that’s not even touching on the effects of doing this for years, with any host of issues that may make the work more difficult, painful, or stressful. It’s not fair, and it’s not right, and if you object to tipping on the grounds that you believe the system shouldn’t be setup so that tipping is necessary… great! fantastic! Y'know how to change it? Vote to change the outdated laws that permit this sort of wage-bondage to still exist in a first-world country. Not tipping doesn’t do a damn thing except make the life of another human being more difficult.
When we go out to eat, we’re often thinking of ourselves. We don’t want to cook, or we feel like having a particular type of food we don’t know how to make on our own. We’re looking to enjoy time with our friends, family, or a date that we’re hoping to impress.
I would like to propose that we take a moment to appreciate that when we go out to eat, we have the power to make someone else’s day better. Be kind to your server. Make polite requests, and remember that if something comes out incorrectly, or rather slowly, there is probably something going on behind the scenes that you’re not privy to. When you tip, do so generously. My rule is that you’re getting five bucks minimum, even if all I get is a soda. That amount is insubstantial to me, but means the world to a server, because whether they brought me a single drink, or a full meal and dessert, I was still taking up their time, and one of their tables. The fact that I’m not hungry because I already ate before meeting up with friends shouldn’t be an excuse to deprive them of the money they depend on to survive.
So, new rule: five dollar tip minimum, until that amount drops below 20% of the cost of your meal. After that, 20% for standard - or even lousy - service. Better service? Tip better! Your server just seem to be having a rough time? Add a few extra bucks! It doesn’t affect your wallet much, but it can completely turn around their entire day. Sometimes all it takes is a tip that’s better than you were expecting to buoy you thru the rest of your shift. Because it’s not just about the money. It’s about being recognized as a human being. About being appreciated, and having your needs thought about.
So please, when you go out somewhere tipping takes place, remember: it’s not all about you. You have the opportunity to make someone else’s life a little bit better. I promise, doing so will make your entire experience better, too. Because you did something good for someone else, and that’s far more satisfying than the tex-mex you just had. Even if you got the sopaipilla at the end. It’s that good, I promise.
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