Hello yes I get that’s it just SO FUNNY when only-child writers get your exact personal sibling dynamic wrong and all that but maybe instead of making fun of us for trying something outside our own experiences y’all could actually idk offer some insight or advice?
Idk I guess that’s just me
Ok, I’m responding to this post with some tips bc I (one of four children, each of us barely four years apart) feel like its my time to shine. If this comes off as preachy, I’m sorry, this is just my personal experience!
1) Names- Like that post you are referring to says, we don’t really call each other sis or bro, I know some eastern countries are different, but in the west, we usually just call each other by our names. Childhood nicknames are rarely used too.
Ex: My name is Samantha. My childhood nickname was Saysay because that was too long for me. No one has called me Saysay since I was a toddler, not ever to tease me. My siblings call me Sam, which is my preferred name, sometimes even Sammy (this is mostly my little sister). We never use each others full names (They’re all super long, in order we are Patrick, Abigail, Samantha, and Mary Elizabeth) Patrick is rarely Patrick, he is Pat, Abigail is never Abigail, she is Abby, I am never Samantha, I am Sam, and I never hear Mary Elizabeth called by her full name unless we are in Alabama with our extended family, and they love calling people by two first names. Sometimes we use each others full names in mock shock (Ex: Samantha Ann _________ you mean to tell me you went to a bar on a Tuesday night?)
Another note, some siblings can have nicknames that other siblings don’t use. Like my little sister thinks it’s funny to call me the Wholly Sammoth (not a weight joke she just thinks it’s clever), but my other siblings would never call me that ever. I call my older sister Gail the Snail sometimes, but no one else calls her that because it’s a personal joke between us. By older brother calls my older sister Crabby Abby, but I would never call her that unless I wanted to die. It goes on.
2) Dynamics- I’m sure everyone knows that siblings have different dynamics with each other. Some siblings are closer than others, some argue more often, and some get along better. However, what is not addressed is that these dynamics change. A lot.
I was never that close with my brother growing up because he was almost six years older than me. Nowadays we hang out and watch TV together, and we play video games and go to movies. I was always intimidated by my older sister growing up because she was a know-it-all and thought she was smarter than me and my little sister, but now we facetime more than twice a week and I always call her to tell her what’s going in at my college. Me and my little sister were thick as thieves when we were younger, barely two years apart, we were treated like twins and I considered her to be my best friend. Nowadays, we don’t have much in common, and I can feel we’re drifting away. The good thing is, it doesn’t have to be that way, she may be sixteen now, but I’m sure when she’s twenty and I’m twenty-two we might be as thick as thieves again!
3) Bickering- As you get older, you don’t bicker with your siblings. Not because you don’t want to (because dear god, you certainly do) but because you feel you need to keep the peace. Siblings are basically random people who share your DNA. One sibling can be a redneck Trump supporter who dropped out of high school, the other could be a very liberal minded person with a eight doctorates. Yes, you grew up with the same parents (most of the time) but nurture is only half of the cake, the rest is nature. Me and my brother have slightly different political opinions (he’s not extreme by any means, but it still bugs me a lot), we don’t argue about it, but we sure as heck argued over dumber things when we were little. As you mature, you want to get along with your siblings all the time, because you’re family, and if your family can’t deal with you, then who can? But just because you’re getting along on the outside, does not mean there isn’t turmoil on the inside. It’s similar to having different beliefs than your parents, but on a more equal scale, where the other person doesn’t have any power over you.
4) Memories, and Love- You all love each other (usually). This one is a given, but I still feel like pointing this out. I know a lot of people have tumultuous relationships with family, but most of the time your family will stick with you because you love each other. It’s hard not to love someone you shared your entire life and upbringing with. Your siblings know everything about you, like the words you couldn’t say right until you were in the first grade, or that time you laughed so hard you peed your pants. Writers often forget to add background stories with siblings, because when we get together, pretty much our entire conversations are reciting funny things we said when we were little. Jokes that seem stupid to adults but were hilarious to eight year olds. That time when your little sister threw up in the car and there wasn’t a rest stop for miles. Remember to add the memories the siblings shared together, and it makes it so much more authentic!
Also, contrary to popular belief, we say ‘I love you’ a lot. In TV shows and books, the characters are always loath to say ‘I love you’ to their siblings, but that has never been an issue for me and my siblings. ‘I love yous’ are at the end of every phone call, every visit, every text, they are important, especially to siblings who have had other family members who died. Having our dad die reminded me and my siblings how important an ‘I love you’ is, especially when it might be the last thing you say to them.
