"Woke" men writing women: Her? Breasting boobily? Oh, please. She was actually an A-cup, and she hadn't washed her hair last night because she'd spent all night gaming (she was only 30 matches away from platinum). She checked herself in the mirror and saw what her ex must've seen each morning, and suddenly she couldn't blame him for breaking up with her: long, dark hair, messy now because she still hadn't found her hairbrush (or found time to find her hairbrush, really), pale eyes that were a little too big, lips that were just short of plump, and ugh, was that a pimple? It stood out like a red light against her pale, vampire-like skin. She wasn't into makeup -- a waste of precious gaming time, if you asked her -- but decided that showing up to work cosplaying as Rudolph the mutated reindeer was a bit too far, so she put on some concealer and, to not feel completely like a girly-girl, eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man, or at least increase crit damage by 40%. With that tragic-but-necessary intervention, she made some toast and stuck it in her mouth, anime-girl style. She chuckled to herself -- yes, she was late to work again, but her manager was too much of a simp to hold her accountable. Besides, the Star Wars-themed coffee shop wasn't as popular as he liked to believe, and they could easily manage with just one barista, anyway. She locked the door (Hatsune Miku keychain, thank you very much) and turned to face the stairwell. If she were an anime girl from that horrible show her best friend Darryl had goaded her into watching, then her boobs would be flying all over the place as she walked down. But she was no anime girl. She was a real woman, all flesh and blood and tears and sweat (actually she was probably 80% Monster Ultra Fantasy Ruby Red Zero Sugar at this point). So she scoffed, shoved the rest of her toast into her mouth (super strong gag reflex, so don't get any ideas, sicko) and parkoured down the stairs, her breasts safely tucked into her Spongebob sports bra.
