don't look now, i'm a phase

there’s something about becoming older where everything feels finite. summer isn’t endless, love isn’t eternal. you move homes, your favorite boots fall apart, your dog dies. everything feels consuming and beautiful when it is believed to be eternal. now it is all precious. everything. and there is a melancholy that comes with it.

I made this after watching the divine swamp fever art tutorial, hence the smudgey shading and the simple looped animation. The soundtrack consists of three layers, one is a recording of me panting into the mic while standing in the kitchen so a bit of the refrigerator hum gets into the recording. I pitched the recording down a little bit so it would sound more "masculine" I guess cause I felt like my breathing sounded too high-pitched. The other two layers are a guitar jingle from capcut's free sounds library and a trap remix of light's leitmotif also from capcut's music library, both slowed down to 0.1x speed.

that brief period of time where L does not seem to suspect Light as much anymore and he lets his guard down but also he knows something is off he knows something is wrong he can sense danger but he still walks right into the belly of the beast into the fox's den he still lets Light hold the death note still gets the rug pulled out from under him by someone that.. what ? he could have almost almost maybe potentially kinda-sorta considered giving grace ?? and that despite everything thats lead up to this point he still looks shocked and wide-eyed at the revelation even though he knew it he knew it he knew it so what was he DOING ? how did this happen ? did he doubt himself ? was it the scrutiny of the entire task force that did it ? or did he just want to like Light ? did he enjoy the game too much to win ? was he kidding himself ? was he ignoring it ? was it a nice idea to think things could remain like this forever ??? that they could play games and no one would ever REALLY win and this could be the closest thing to closeness he will experience ? did the loneliness finally get the better of him ? it must have been fun to play with his own life. it must have been warm in that den