Imaginarium

you wake up. you probably have somewhere to be really soon so you take your things and go. you don’t need to check the timetable, you just know that it takes 10 minutes to reach the bus stop and then the bus comes. you try to believe that.

you come wherever it was you needed to be. awkwardly nod. everyone awkwardly nods back. it’s quiet. you should not talk. 

in the middle of the day, you go to the shop for food. it’s not a long walk but you hate it, it always feels too cold, no matter the season. you go to the bread aisle. pick a viineripirukas. it’s always the viineripirukas, you don’t have the strength to change your life. you go to checkout. the cashier’s name is Ljudmila and you briefly consider the language you should pick. you go with Estonian. she answers with a thick Russian accent. you still talk in Estonian. 

you go back to your workplace. there are two people walking in front of you, you can hear them talk. you listen. you feel like you understand what they say but you can’t understand what they say. you think that your brain finally gave up on registering sounds. it’s Finnish. 

you come back and see a familiar face. they talk to you in Estonian. you think they were Russian once, but you don’t know anymore. you answer. several hours later you realise that you used an English word with a Russian suffix in the middle of an Estonian sentence. they didn't ask about it. 

you come home, the crows still don’t greet you. you are very tired. it’s dark. it’s gonna be summer soon. you check tumblr. something bad happened in America. and in Russia. you feel bad. you don't know how to deal with other’s misfortunes when you can barely carry your own. you reblog a meme. you get ready for bed, briefly considering checking your facebook. this is where your groupmates, teachers and future employers exist. this is where you're supposed to get connections for a successful future. this is what a university degree gives you. you haven’t checked your facebook in 6 months.