The Art Of Chaos

Ayanne is the last child in her family, and has two older brothers, quite older than her (10+ years I’d say). Her parents were kinda old for elven standards when they got her, her mom is a healer.

She’s a sunny child, she gets spoiled with a lot of cuddles, and she’s a little bit weird in her own Ayanne-way, right from the start.

When she's not in whatever-is-a-dalish-school, she's assigned to foraging herbs, both for the healers and the cooks, so she gets some herbalism knowledge from there.

Since she can remember, she has always had this super close friend, Adahlen, grandson of the clan’s Keeper, same age, their families are close so they spend most of their time together, except when she goes to her beloved dance classes (imagine it like Lilo&Stitch dances at the beginning of the movie).

So, this Adahlen has been madly in love with Ayanne since they were, like, 2 years old. She considers him like another brother, though, so she doesn’t even notice he exists in that sense.

And now they’re reaching puberty, and Ayanne has always been a cute kid but she’s growing up being flaming hot, and she keeps dancing but now she has a sexy body, and the brightest smile, and big sparkling eyes, and she starts to notice people turn around when she walks by. She likes how it makes her feel.

She's 13 when she gets in trouble and her Keeper doesn't let her dance for the Arlathven, making her babysit all the other clans’ kids instead. Davrin is among those kids, he's 5. They won't remember each other.

She’s 14 when she turns out being a mage. Adahlen’s a mage too, the only other one in the clan’s new generation, and is already training as First under their Keeper. Ayanne joins the training as Second, she’s not sent away like it happens in other clans with too many mages because she’s not needed elsewhere BUT also because she’s basically family. She’s completely fine not being First: she’s not ambitious in that sense, and Adahlen is definitely a more powerful mage than her. But she gets a formal training too, she studies elven lore, learns to write in ancient elven and all the other things a Keeper’s apprentice must know.

She’s 15 when she starts accepting boys’ attentions - aka go and making out in the forest. She’s popular by now. Not one of the “cool kids” exactly, cause yeah she’s a little bit weird and definitely has the awkwardest sense of of humor, but she’s beautiful and kind and joyous and people like to have her around. She sometimes gets into trouble cause she’s stubborn and not very good at following rules, but she learned she could make sweet sweet eyes with the adults and get away with it. She uses the same technique to get extra pastries from the merchants.

At 17 she develops a huge crush on her new dance teacher, a young man that recently joined their clan, all dashing and artistic (and totally slimy, according to Adahlen). She knows she’s pretty so she keeps teasing him, and make it clear she’s available, and she insists and insists until after several months - she’s 18 by the time - they get drunk at a summer festival and have sex (it’s her first time), and the day after he keeps saying that’s been a mistake and doesn’t want to be with her.

She stops dancing after that. *hear the sound of my heart breaking*

She gets her Vallaslin a month after. She tried to ask for it twice before, but her Keeper always said she was too frivolous to be ready. She is ready now.

She’s 20 when she decides she’s tired of being dumped after a handful of dates, every single time. Adahlen says it’s because they don’t get her. Maybe he is right. Adahlen gets her. He likes her best when she’s awkward, he laughs at her jokes, he always knows what she’s thinking, what she likes, what she needs. He’s always been there. He’s also incredibly smart, and talented, and funny. And he cares about her, oh she knows he does. So she decides to try and be with him. And you know what? It’s a whole new world. She can finally be herself now, she can finally feel herself.

Adahlen says he’s sorry at least a hundred times, he’s never been with a woman, he’s only ever wanted her, and now he doesn’t know what to do. But she’s never been kissed like this before. With care, with reverence, like she’s the most precious thing. She’s melting.

At 22 Ayanne leads her first mission. She’s been out on the field before, but never without supervisors. Turns out she’s good. She’s smart, she’s adaptable, she can think out the box, she gets things done. She gets sent on missions more and more. She’s excited, she feels useful and capable, and it’s fulfilling.

They’re 24 the first time they get asked why they’re not married bonded yet. There’s no real reason except they’re always busy, he with his trainings, she with her missions, both helping within the clan… and when they’re free all they want is to enjoy quality time with each other.

She's 27, and she's holding her brother's newborn in her arms. She's bad with children, she has no patience, but maybe she can learn. She wishes Adahlen was there right now, and not with the Keeper, he would have liked the baby. She dreams a family of her own.

They are 31 when they finally announce their bonding ceremony. Everyone kept wondering, and you know, why not! They've been together 11 years, actually they've been together forever, and they're a great couple, they're good for each others, good for the clan, and he's gonna be Keeper one day, and she'll be at his side to support him, and they're gonna have so many wonderful kids, and it will be perfect. Everyone congratulates them with hugs and smiles and she’s trembling, it must be the emotion.

In the following months Ayanne get sent into longer missions, Adahlen trains harder 'cause the current Keeper is not in good health, and the bonding preparation takes so much time and involve so many people, and there's little time left for their alone quality time. She misses being alone with him.

She’s 32, and in two days she’s gonna be Adahlen’s wife. She’s still trembling, and doesn’t know how to make it stop. Please, someone make it stop. She wakes him up, they need to talk. It's hard to say what's wrong aloud, it's hard to even think about it, but she knows what it is. She doesn't want to be the Keeper's wife. He will disappear under the responsibilities, she will disappear under his shadow and they won't let her go on her missions anymore, and still all she wants is a family but only if he's gonna be there with her raising it, but he won't have the time, and yes, yes, she should have known this from the beginning, she should have known this since forever, but it didn't matter at the time. They're both crying now, and she's still trembling, so so much, and all he wants is to make her happy, but he just can't, he doesn't know what to do. There is nothing to do.

The morning after they call the ceremony off. They’re not a couple anymore.

Life in the clan is hard after that, impossible. It's not just the gossip and disappointed faces everywhere, those stop after a while. But she feels hollow. She's never been alone before.

She's 33 when she first hears about the Veil Jumpers. She has trained as a Second for many years, she has knowledge, she can be valuable to them. She feels a purpose. She meets Strife and starts doing some missions with them. Every time she stays away a little bit longer.

That same year, Adahlen gets married. She will always love him, they've been knowing each other their whole life, so she forces herself to go to the celebrations. She tells him she's happy for him. It's true. She's 34 when his first child is born.

The Veil Jumpers are good for her, and she needs a fresh start. She leaves the clan for good and moves to their camp, so she can help them full time. Strife is impossible, they bicker all the time, but it's distracting her from her thoughts, so it's good, very good. And in no time she's making new friends, and she's busy, and she's learning, and this is starting to feel a little bit like home. She is starting to feel herself again.

She's 38 when she meets Varric and Harding. They tell the most impossible story, but she likes impossible, and they are cool, and Varric take's her under his wing, and Lace is fantastic, so she sticks with them, she has a feeling this will take her somewhere.