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“so sweet… such a sweet thing, aren’t you?” he murmurs against your skin, breathless and yearning, and hands squeeze your flesh—groaning at the feeling of you spilling between the crevices of his fingers. perfection.

when he pulls away, his face is flushed, red down to his neck, and eyes blown out with pupils nearly swallowing the entirety of its earthly brown.

your face is cupped between his heated palms as he nuzzles his button nose against yours, lips shying away from your lips lest he comes embarrassingly quick again.

“you’re all mine, right?” he whispers gravelly and your eyes flicker between his, awed at the blatant desire yet, restraint burning in them before you nod.

he sighs deeply at that, relieved, before pulling you into a tight, locking embrace and pressing a long, lingering kiss onto the top of your head. “yeah… all mine.”

heeseung loves you. just as you love him.

—

“sometimes, i feel like he wishes he could fuse himself with you. you know, like that fish that fuses himself with his mate and lose practically all sense of self,” jiyeon, your friend, says randomly during your lunch date.

you furrow but wear an amused grin, chuckling. “what are you talking about?”

jiyeon looks up from her plate to you. “heeseung, duh. you see the way he looks you? if his eyeballs weren’t already glued onto his face, it would be on you. he gets tunnel vision whenever you walk in.”

“he just…loves me, that’s all.”

“a little too much, maybe.”

you giggle at that but her words got you thinking. did heeseung really love you too much?

what defines something as ‘too much?’ where’s the line to cross to deem something as abnormal?

you don’t know. does anybody know?

it stuck with you, that thought, to the point that you voice it out to heeseung that same evening when he came over to your dorm.

his dark brows knit and pouty lips pucker slightly in thought as he rests his chin on your stomach. “i think i love you just the right amount.”

“and how much is that?” you ask to which he then stares at you, mesmerized by the stars of curiosity twinkling in your eyes as you tilt your head at him.

heeseung can’t restrain the way his lips curl at the sight. you’re so cute. so sweet and pretty, yet so inquisitive. like a fawn discovering the world around it. a soft chuckle emits from him and he inhales sharply as he presses a ticklish peck onto your exposed abdomen. “more than you can count, sweets.”

he lays his head comfortably against you then, fixing his focus onto the TV screen and hums contentedly when your hand begins to play with the hair on his nape.

unaware of the fact that the question still lingers in your head.

‘more than you can count.’

his answer echoes.

heeseung loves you. but how much exactly?

—

you watch as heeseung plays basketball with his friends on the court. as usual, the usual fans are cheering from outside the fenced area, or the bleachers around where you’re also currently sat on.

unlike them though, you’re quieter, focused on heeseung alone and feeling your heart fill seeing him enjoying himself.

so enthralled that you miss the person taking the spot beside you.

“hey,” he calls.

you turn your head towards him, recognizing him as a classmate from a shared module. “hi.”

“you like basketball?” he asks, a little too casually considering how you’ve never interacted before.

“i like my boyfriend,” you reply, immediately shutting down any attempts of flirtation but from the way he smirks, he doesn’t seem deterred.

with an amused raise of his brows, he bobs his head. “oh, cute. you’re devoted to him, huh?”

you don’t reply.

“you really are. huh, i like that,” he comments but doesn’t bother moving away. “i’ve always liked the good girl types like you. tell me, does he make you feel good in bed?”

that catches you off guard—whipping your head at him with eyes wide but they grow rounder when you see him flying off his seat.

“what the fck did you just say to her??” heeseung barks, fist curled onto his collar to lift him onto his feet. his eyes are dark, vicious, teeth grit tight and veins bulge.

the audience around gasps, having never seen heeseung, the perfect embodiment of cool and charming, so belligerent like a beast.

neither have you.

but the sight of him with fists trembling itching to pounce, chests heaving with heavy breaths, and jaw clenched like a predator snarling against prey, it makes something click in you.

to reveal a part of him you’ve never seen before. could it be it’s because his limit’s been crossed?

if so, how far has it gone?

you’re pulled away from your thoughts by heeseung’s burning hot hands that cup your face to lift it up towards him.

“you okay? what else did he say to you?” heeseung’s worried voice is gentle yet, equally frantic as he interrogates you on what happened.

he didn’t lay a hand on the guy. simply, let him off with a warning before dragging you away to one of the vending machines beside the building, away from the crowd.

“i’m so sorry. i should’ve noticed earlier,” heeseung apologizes sincerely, forehead lowering onto your shoulder as he sighs regretfully. he then, looks back up, cupping your jaw and stroking your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. “you must’ve have felt so uncomfortable. how are you feeling, hm?”

his doe eyed face is scrunched into a mien of remorse as he searches yours for any sign of distress. it’s almost comical how…guilty he sounds. like he’s committed a heinous crime.

suddenly, the beast is gone.

“it’s okay. i’m fine,” you say with complete honesty, a small smile stretched, but still, heeseung has that kicked puppy look and he mutters a small “okay, you’re okay. that’s good,” paired with a kiss on the top of your head.

…

you kind of want to see the other him again.

heeseung loves you. strong enough to get angry for you.

—

these days, heeseung’s been more protective of you.

to the point where he waits for you outside your lecture rooms like a loyal knight, or how he follows you around like a guarding dobermann and how his hands always find a way to rest on you on every occasion as if staking a claim.

it's not his fault.

recently, there's been so many creeps around you. even when your relationship's already exclusively known throughout campus and social media, there are still people just bugging for your attention.

it started two weeks ago, from the day that guy bothered you at the bleachers. and ever since, these 'pests' just keep showing up even outside of school grounds.

and it's testing heeseung's patience. he's tempted time and time again to just...gouge the eyes out of these men's skull just for glancing your way.

it's just an angry thought, however. he'd never go that far.

"you can go, hee. i'm fine," you say to heeseung who's attempting to shield you from the whole world—hands on each side of your thighs and frame covering yours as you sit on the kitchen countertop. you're both at a party, invited by heeseung's friends, but being a non-partygoer you'd much prefer solitude. "your friends are gonna look for you."

the way his fingers curl into his palms shows his reluctance and he clicks his tongue before making a decisive nod. "call me for anything, okay? anything."

he finally parts ways with a peck on the cheek and now you're left alone in the empty kitchen, listening to the muffled beats and shouts of the people through the door.

the array of leftover snacks and drinks that didn't make it into the containers outside keep you company...for a good 30 minutes before you decide to leave.

a good 30 minutes before heeseung comes to check on you and lose his mind when he doesn't find you.

he texts. no response.

he calls. no answer.

even after tearing the house up and down, you're still gone. and if it wasn't for a random miraculous messenger telling him that they saw you going outside, he would have started tearing people apart.

who knows? you're such a sweet, soft existence. someone could have eaten you up.

thankfully, the house is in a sort of private property—separate from the main neighbourhood—so finding you at the vacant streets was easy.

but you aren't alone.

"seungie," your gentle voice rings in his ears like wind chimes and he approaches slowly, occasionally glancing at the man whose back is turned towards him. "what are you doing out here?"

heeseung tries to smile, but it shakes. "i was looking for you. why didn't you answer my calls, baby?"

"you called? oh no, i must have missed! my phone's on silent."

he's quick to wrap his arms around your waist, his chest to your spine, as he now stares at the unfamiliar guy you're with. his guarded gaze scans him from head to toe. "...who's this?"

you perk at that and eyes sparkle and smile broadens. heeseung's lips twitch.

"kang minhyuk, our year. he just came out to tell me he likes my skirt!" you gush, excited that someone likes your fashion sense.

"is that so...?" heeseung asks slowly, almost cooing—a telltale sign of his bubbling rage but not to you, never to you—and he makes sure to stare at him as he slides his arm up your torso to loosely wrap his hand around your throat.

a claiming statement, but gentle—thumb stroking the side of your neck as he plants a kiss onto your temple. "it's just that, to follow her outside only for a compliment... it’s kind of inappropriate, don't you think so? especially when she has a boyfriend."

minhyuk scoffs at that with a mocking tilt of his head. "well, little missy's here told me that you're up for it."

heeseung's ministrations stop. "what? for what?"

"he invited us over for ramyeon," you then say and the words hit him like a sharp slap of ice cold water. he spins you around in his hold and lowers himself to meet your height.

"(y/n), what exactly did he say?"

you stay silent for a moment, cryptic gaze flickering between his frantic ones. "he asked me if was 'open minded' and invited me for ramyeon. so i told him about you and he said to bring you along because 'it'd be fun to share a sweet little treat.'"

it's like a cord snapped within heeseung. loud and dreadful, echoing throughout his whole being and rattling his bones. the way his vision blurs and ears muffle has him lightheaded and he swears he tastes blood from biting on his tongue.

seeing minhyuk standing there with his infuriating smirk, and the way his beady eyes travel up and down your form—

he wants to pluck them out.

but you're here.

...

he can't do it.

"we're going home."

and that's all heeseung said before pulling you away to the car, leaving minhyuk alone standing on the streets.

heeseung loves you. powerful enough to hold back.

—

1:33am.

you're wide awake, sitting on your bed with knees folded to your chest. the scenario earlier kept replaying in your mind.

it's confusing. you were sure that that was the final push needed to bring back the other heeseung. but, he just walked away. if anything, it was underwhelming compared to his other reactions with the stooges you've placed.

it's...disappointing.

just when you thought you were getting close to crossing another one of heeseung's limits to know the extent of his affections, he takes a step back. and now you feel farther than ever.

what was it? what misstep did you make?

or does he not love you as you thought him to?

DING DONG!

your head whips towards the sound before you even fully register it.

frustrated and puzzled, you turn in your bed to stand.

who's insane enough to come at your door at this hour?

your question's answered before you can check, though. with heeseung's gravelly, almost broken voice calling through the barrier to tell you it's him.

faster than light, you unlock the knob and twist it. a wide, toothy grin on your face. "heeseu—"

your words lodge in your throat.

the pungent scent of copper penetrates the air as in walks heeseung, painted in sharp, messy strokes of crimson across his clothes—still the same ones from the party—but he makes sure to take off his shoes before stepping into your place.

his disposition is dour, head hanging and features pale other than the flush around his swollen eyes, an indication of his distress. he says nothing, yet the air around him is ladened with tension, apprehension, and he doesn't turn around immediately towards the girl who's locking the door.

"heeseung, wha...what happened?" she asks, careful.

and the first sound comes out of him: a choked sob.

then, he's turning around and falling onto his knees in front of her with arms looped around her waist. he sniffles and cries into her stomach—red smearing onto her clothes and tears dampening the fabric—as his fingers claw against her lower back.

"he won't bother you anymore, (y/n). i-i made sure of it. they won't bother you, us, and if they try... i'll deal with them," he mumbles against her like a broken record and he lifts his head to reveal his tear-streaked face, flushed and ruined, as he pulls her impossibly closer. "you're proud of me, right? y-you'll still love me, won't you? i'll protect you. always. always will.”

you say nothing at first, overridden by shock, but also awe, then fear, yet intrigue. your silence feeds his anxiety however, and his cries heighten to repeat his words like a plea, a prayer, and the intensity of his grip increases that you can almost feel his nails digging into your skin through your shirt.

“i love you. i love you. always. always has. always will. love me, please…love me too.”

his confessions don’t cease.

carding your fingers through his wet hair, dampened by sweat and blood, he relaxes ever so slightly and only when you finally utter the words: "of course. i love you, heeseung. always,” does he loosen completely.

a whimper crawls up the back of his throat as he hikes your shirt up with his nose—desperate to feel your warm skin against his—and he plants kisses on your abdomen as if he'd perish without it. without you.

and that's when you realised.

your friend was right.

heeseung loves you, maybe a little 'too much.'

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