pookie

Carol and Daryl in S9

I’m hardly the woman I was a year ago.

These two are so ultimate idk what to do with myself right now.

Yep.

endless meme: the walking dead // every episodes.  1x01 days gone bye. “bites kill you. the fever burns you out but then after a while… you come back.”

Hey, you good? No. Come here.

This is in response to seeing people describe Carol as weak, or that her character is “destroyed,” or that she’s not strong anymore.    First off, Carol’s behavior is all PTSD related. I know. I suffer from Chronic PTSD. The hyperventilating, disassociating, isolating herself from loved ones, acting out of character, etc. are all PTSD symptoms/behaviors.  You can checklist a lot of what’s happening right now with Carol if you look up PTSD. Frankly, I think the show is doing a great job portraying what it’s like to suffer a PTSD breakdown, but is failing at the actual storyline. By not having Carol interact with hardly anyone outside of Morgan and Tobin, or having Team Family reacting to her odd behavior, it’s hard for the audience to understand what’s going on. It’s difficult to understand why Maggie didn’t check up on Carol after witnessing her hyperventilating when they were prisoners, or after Carol’s devastating confession. A show isn’t like a book where the writer can show the inner workings of a character’s mind without interaction with others. On a television show, the story has to be told through conversations that reveal the emotional/mental state of the characters. This is what’s lacking in Carol’s storyline. We’re left to guess what is going on. Melissa McBride is doing a KILLER job portraying PTSD. I find it hard to watch her because I see myself at my worst times in her performance. But if someone doesn’t have PTSD, or doesn’t understand how it works, they’re left to guess why Carol is appears to now be out of character (though she really isn’t). I also blame this on the way the show is promoted. Rick obviously kills without remorse, but Carol has always shown that killing does make her feel guilty. Yet, most of the narrative in the promotion of Carol is about how “badass” she is. That being said, I don’t think Carol is being weak. She’s struggling as all survivors do. She’s searching for peace where there might not be any. Her PTSD related coping mechanisms are starting to work against her, not for her. Frankly, survivors are some of the strongest people I know because they DO survive a world where someone is trying to destroy them and has made them believe through severe emotional abuse that there is no way out. Abusers are very adept at convincing their victims that they’re responsible for all the bad things happening to them and that there is no escape. This exact same scenario is where Carol is again. Except it’s not Ed brainwashing her to think she can’t survive without him, or him beating her so she capitulates. It’s the world itself that has her trapped, and convinced she’s becoming a monster. She knows the apocalyptic world can kill her, and because of her actions, she feels her worth is only in her ability to kill. Carol isn’t weak right now. She’s tormented. And, sadly, the storyline has diverted her away from the one other person who can exactly understand what she’s going through and possibly help her through the storm.