Family Business

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

The loudest guy in the fucking world: hey man

There's more after 'hey man' but you're deaf now

going to get my blood tested and dr acula and nurse feratu walk in. hope everything is ok

hold on i have to do everything

You guys would tell me if the bell was tolling for me, right?

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

sorry i said something dickish. a few mildly frustrating things happened to me in succession and it turned me evil

writing advice: get weird w it

i'm trying to save money but oh my god. jesus christ

can we like, have adaptations made by people who care about the thing they're adapting

sorry i can't make it. i have to watch my show that aired twenty years ago

Oh I love these new super vibrant coppery greens! I think I will paper over all my walls in this color and fill my wardrobe with these verdant hues

It’s just me and Paris Green against the world! #myparisgreen

I have contracted a mysterious illness

legend tells of a mysterious being called “nuance” that allows multiple things to be true at the same time. some say you can still hear its voice whispering in the trees

I shouldn’t have laughed that loudly

even when i had nothing i had supernatural and that’s the problem