"where did my bacteria sample go?" @jossing-effusively - Tumblr Blog

hello!!

I'm a researcher at the notorious Magnus Institute in London. you can catch me here talking about my wild job or my adventures outside of it.

#tmagoc

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the-enchanted-little-star

cuppydogshane

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............

#the only time I care about celeb gossip #Sebulba.... where did you go...#Sebulba.... what controversies have wrought your life....

eclecticopposition

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

carby

Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.

whyamiherewhosummonedme

So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.

I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.

Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.

(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)

(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)

(for science.)

violetthunderstorm

You have a fitting blog title

nico-the-overlord

this post is getting 50k easy

marlinspirkhall

no-highly-esteemed-deed

@jossing-effusively

jossing-effusively

How did you know my lifelong dream of drinking a virus sample?

#tmagoc

teaboot

I genuinely believe that the new SW trilogy wouldn’t have flopped out into irrelevance like it did if they hadn’t dumped Finn on the side of the freeway like a new pet rabbit the week after easter

teaboot

Anyway in my heart Finn became a Jedi alongside Rey and inspired a Stormtrooper insurrection and Kyle Ron went back to his mom like he should have day fucking one and that angry redhead dude blew up with the star destroyer and Poe got to make it happen and at the end Rey doesn’t give a shit who her bitch ass non-palpatine parents might have been because she gets her new family like she needed and palpatine stays dead at the bottom of his musty hole like he should have and Finn and Poe give each other approximately 130% the amount of lingering meaningful looks and then one of their run-together-to-reunite moments results in a heat-of-the-moment make out like it should have and Luke and Leia meet in person a minimum of once so she can sibling slap him at least once for being a useless dramatic old hermit for a billion years and tell him to get the Chanel boots back on and stop being a sad hobo and then for no reason at all there is an ewok style moon of Endor forest party at the end like God intended

little-onion-heart

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deadelated

we all have the homie that's a cautionary tale

deadelated

had

#real

My favorite international holiday!

#may the fourth #tmagoc

calicotisane

I really like the phrase "a thing of bleach" from jeff the killer I don't know why I like it so much. A thing of bleach fell on him. It sounds almost like something I would write now. This is a helpful clue to the quality and character of my writing these days

cosy-and-nosy

please join me in mourning for Luke from Accounting. He went into the HR office with the pink haired devil some time ago and still hasn’t emerged.

the-arlo-frey

I should stay out of office drama...

...who is the pink haired devil

cosy-and-nosy

ok well I said I wouldn’t reveal any personal information but.

this asshole who is such a fucking creep and probably a sex offender- always wears suits but like he does it badly, and his hair is dyed this ugly shade of pink and it’s done really badly- and he works in fucking HR.

the-arlo-frey

Making a note to stay away from him...

cosy-and-nosy

Yeah. Do that

luci-dow

I think that guy. Pushed me off of a ladder.

cosy-and-nosy

what.

I am Going to make A Call-out Post on my Tumblr Dot Com about this Bitch

jossing-effusively

he licks people too. 🤮

shoutout to my buddy Chris for setting the pink haired devil on fire when we ran into him. i heard that his hair got messed up lmao

#thank you silver for beating him #manifesting a permanent bald spot #tmagoc

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