Telescope Eyes

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read. 

SHE CHEATED!

SHE CHEATED?

MAUREEN CHEATED!

FUCKING CHEATED!

does no one realize that robin hood was a terrible role model for young kids? i mean you are stealing from people (illegal) and those people (usually) worked hard to get their wealth. it really demotivates people to succeed when they know they can get something someone else worked for.

is this what rich people worry about lmao

who knew the sheriff of nottingham had a blog

How does someone read Robin Hood and miss the part where it’s set in feudal England. He stole from people who got their wealth by exploiting the poor, incidentally that’s all rich people to this very day.

Tune in next week when they tell you the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge, a benevolent job creator, harassed during his sleeping hours by the hellish socialist dead. 

“Can I kiss you?” is probably the cutest thing you can ever hear someone ask.

Yes. Yes, let’s romanticize actually asking for consent verbally. Let’s stop making it out to ‘ruin the mood.’ This is so important.

which spongebob character is the white gay friend

larry the lobster next question

larry is that type of gay w/ masc4masc and “no fats no fems” on his Floundr bio

Floundr bio I’m out

i had to read this on my dash and now you have to too

Larry the Lobster is a much more respectable gay than that. He has always been so nice and friendly to everyone regardless of wether or not they were muscleheads like him. He never once commented on Spongebob or Patrick being too feminine or weak. I stand with him. Living like Larry.

Remember who had you when you were at your lowest…

my own damn self

reblog if do you ever need a ten minute hug but only from a specific person

i know what some words mean

but not all of them.

You have a reputation for being horribly indecisive. In truth, you’ve been cursed with the ability to see every possible negative outcome of every choice you make, no matter how minor.

Oh boy let me tell you a thing about anxiety

do you ever just fucking hate yourself for not working hard enough to reach your full potential?? cuz same.

what if you went outside and saw slender man what would you do

tobey maguire or andrew garfield 

i thought this said spider man please ignore me

hell yes

this is the first? THIS IS THE FIRST

low key wanna break a poets heart so they’ll write poems about me forever and i will be on their wiki page as a mysterious, possibly villified figure.