lukasbaxter:
He grins, putting in effort so itâs not as halfhearted as it feels. âSaint Lukas. I like the sound of that.â Itâs actually a stretch to him, but something about repeating her joke back to her makes him feel warm, comforted in a way he didnât know he needed to be comforted. Even if sheâs not completely into it, itâs like he needs to hear her joke, hear her tease. Lukas needs to know that in some capacity Jordan is still there. She wonât be for long. It feels dramatic for her impending graduation to feel so final, when they can easily keep in touch, but it wonât be the same.
Lukas is glad heâs sitting at the foot of her bed. Itâs still too close for comfort, when emotions feel so raw and out in the open, but thereâs at least some sense of distance between them. He relies too heavily on barriers, on banter and sarcasm and indifference because thatâs easier than trying to process everything. Including whatever motivations pulled him here, to be there for her.
âI wouldnât lay on the praise too thick,â he says with a small smile, grabbing hold of her foot and giving the bottom a slight tickle before letting go. âIâm here for me just as much as I am for you.â As soon as he says it, he realizes just how true it is. While there is a huge part of him here for empathic reasons, the need to comfort her, heâs also here for himself. He needs to get his fill, to be around her, to know that probably the most trusted person in his life is okay. Or at least sort of okay. âScale of 1-10, how are you holding up?â
It feels a little silly, to be this bent out of shape over a gameâbut she grew up in a football family, cheering for a team that her father coached and all her brothers played in. In her family, there was no such thing as itâs only a game, to the point where it felt like football was the only thing her father and brothers even knew how to express emotion about, and she couldnât help but bring that same intensity to Exy, whether she was playing or cheering.
She doesnât even think she would trade it if she could. Itâs been her self-proclaimed role on the squad: as Captain, sheâs the Foxesâ biggest fan, and her job isnât just to teach the Vixens cheers but also to teach them Exy, to make them love the sport even a fraction of the amount that she doesâa fact that sheâs guessing Lukas wouldnât be thanking her for right now, because he too seems more muted than sheâs used to seeing him, and part of that might be in deference to her mood, but sheâs guessing that that isnât all of itâsomething he pretty much confirms.Â
âIâm notâIâm not trying to be dramatic, you know? Like, itâs great that the Foxes made it to the Championships my senior year. Itâs the farthest theyâve gone since Iâve been here. And Iâm proud of the team, and Iâm proud of us, and that should be enoughâbut I guess itâs just not, because this kind of sucks.â She pauses, realizes sheâs been picking at a loose thread in the hem of her sweatpants and frowns, before abandoning fidgeting in favor of more beer. âSo, I donât know, maybe like a seven?â










