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˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

ᥫ᭡。asks are strongly welcome! Pls let me know if you have any ideas or questions.

ᥫ᭡。I mainly will write from a F!reader perspective because I, myself am a cis woman and don’t feel like I could give anything else justice.

ᥫ᭡。RPF is obviously huge here so if you’re not down with that just PLEASE block and move on. It’s not that serious yall.

ᥫ᭡。 I’m willing to hear our most ideas when it comes to writing (esp smut and angst) however I have the right to ignore/deny anything I’m not comfortable with writing.

ᥫ᭡。 Trigger warnings will be in placed for the right content!

ᥫ᭡。 pls interact w me! I love making new friends in the fandom.

It had been over a two weeks since embarrassing myself in a small bathroom in the middle of the city since I last saw Joost. I knew I should’ve said something. Maybe apologized for acting out but every time I brought myself to even try to click on the message thread, I felt like a complete utter loser. He had tried reaching out a few times, mostly just asking if I was okay and if I wanted to see him again but I couldn’t bring myself to even reply to those. God, I’m pathetic.

It wasn’t always like this, I use to actually be confident and happy in my relationships. Especially with men, but a few bad boyfriends here and a few shitty experiences there; it created a monster. That’s usually why I kept to myself and prioritized my work over getting entangled with men. Mostly because I knew what I would happen in the end, I’d end up alone.

The bright side to keeping myself busy at work was finally being able to connect with my coworker, Maria. She was a single mother of one in her early thirties; she was the first person I told about what happened that Friday night and she was also the one to comfort me and but give me a stern talking to, after of course showing her pictures on instagram of the guy I’ve been terrified to even send a ‘hi’ to over text message. She started throwing out words like, ‘selfish’ and ‘mean’ the kind that stung, but she followed it by saying; “I’m only being harsh because I care. You’re a girl alone in a foreign country. You need to be careful out here, babes.”

That’s how I landed in tonight’s predicament, a couple of her friends were having a girls night at a bar in town and she extended an invite to me, “no more boys for you here. Only girl time.” As she put it. Which, I didn’t mind. I was in much needed ‘girl time’.

I double checked the text message she sent me earlier to make sure I was following maps correctly and ended up in front small store front; music and loud chattering spilling out in the streets. I gave myself a deep breath and moved my hand down the frontside of my body; ending up playing with the hem of the very short and tight skirt I decided on tonight. I pushed my way through the door and scanned around the hazy space, hearing and women’s voice shout my name followed by; “SCHAT! Over here!” Smiling as my eyes connected with Maria’s smiling face as she motioned me over to her groups table, making space for me to scoot in.

I sat down at the edge of the booth as Maria went around the table, introducing her friends to me and offering my name to them while she poured me a beer from their pitcher. I smiled and gave a polite wave and “hi!” Wishing I wasn’t so awkward in social situations. Before listening to them chatter on about their lives; men trouble, jobs and life.

────୨ৎ────

Two hours later and many beers and shots taken, I found myself fitting just fine with these women. They were loud and outspoken; just how I liked them.

We had just gotten our 5Th shot of Jameson down when I heard one of the girls, who I remembered was named Annabel go, “oh my god!” As all of us turned our head and noticed the group of people walk in. My eyes landing on a certain blonde boy with bright blue eyes, laughing at something his friend said. “That’s Joost Klein, like… the actual musician, Joost Klein!” She exclaimed as a blush formed on her cheeks. I learned through our conversation earlier that she was about my age and she was like me in the group; no boyfriend, no kids. Maria raised her eyebrows and nodded, silently kicking my ankle under the table with her pointed high heel making me let out a slight wheeze.

I watched as him and a few of his friends, that I didn’t meet a couple weekends ago, make their way up to the bar top and talk to the bartender; watching as they went back and forth until finally the bartender nodded and turned around to start preparing their drinks. “I didn’t think he’d ever come to a place like this… you think I should go say something?” Annabel gushed as she turned around to look at all of us, biting her lower lip and sitting up straight. “Yeah, you should go talk to him.” The words flew out of my mouth faster than I realized before Maria slightly choked on her gulp of beer and turning to the side to wipe her mouth. “Ok deal,” she followed up “but I think I need one or two more shots.”

────୨ৎ────

Twenty minutes later, and two more shots of liquor like promised. I watched her pull out her compact mirror and fix her lipstick in it and throw it carelessly into her purse, looking up at us and fixing her breasts in her bra; making sure her cleavage looked good. “Ok girls, how do I look?” She quipped while they flooded her with compliments, my dumbass only managing to give her a thumbs up and a half hearted, “you look hot!”

She gave us a slight nod and got out of the booth, straightening out her dress before turning back to us and giving a thumbs up and a smile. She started walking over to the end of the bar top, where him and his friends had made themselves at home and I watched the scene unfold noticing him move his body towards her; laughing at something she said.

A few more minutes went by as she laid her hand on his arm and suddenly pointed back at our table, his head snapping back towards us and that’s when we met eyes. I pressed my lips together in a slight panic and sunk into the booth, slightly letting my shoulder smoosh into Maria’s. She turned to me and lowered head towards my ear, “you okay?” She whispered and I gave a nod. I could hear Annabel let out a loud laugh before she started making her way back over to us; Joost and his friends in tow.

“Hey ladies! Do you mind a couple more?” She proudly remarked, climbing into the booth while Joost and his friends stood awkwardly at the front of the table, taking sips of their drinks. I already felt stupid at this point and wanted to be anywhere else but here; I would even take 7th grade gym class during a kickball tournament.

They grabbed a few extra chairs from surrounding tables and sat at the table with us, Joost aptly sitting next to Annabel as I felt his eyes trained on me. I felt like the world was a blur and I didn’t know what to make of this, as Maria, the sweetheart she was; moved her hand under the table and placed her hand in mine, giving it a tight squeeze while rubbing her manicured thumb over mine.

“So what brings you ladies out tonight?” One of his friends asked as I begin to drown out the conversation, I was good at that. I liked being in my own world. I could hear the conversation drone on while I kept my eyes trained on the glass of beer in front of me, letting out a couple deep breathes and managing to bring my head up. Noticing Joost was engaged in the conversation with Annabel; watching as she placed her hand on his bicep and letting out a laugh as he gave her charming smile. I asked to be let out of the booth as everybody looked up at me, “you doing okay?” I heard Maria ask me before I mumbled a, “yeah.” And got up moving towards the bathroom.

I made my way to the back of the bar, finding the bathroom that was labeled for women and pushed my way into the small room; quickly pushing my way into the stall and locking it behind me. I pulled out my phone from my purse and noticed a new message.

“txt message: u look good tn”

From about 20 minutes ago, before Annabel decided she was gonna bring them over to our table and royally fuck up my evening by making me feel like a major asshole. He noticed me before I could even say anything, and somehow in that alone; made me feel like even more of a dick.

I stared at the message for a few minutes before realizing that I needed to lay my claim, I had him down bad for me two weeks and this girl thinks she can swoop in and just lay her claim? I didn’t think so. I started typing out a message as I leaned against the side of the stall.

“txt: ya? You look kinda nice urself ig.”

“txt: if u mean that, come wait for me outside the bathroom rn. Finishing up rn”

I gave myself a smile to my phone screen as I locked it back up, throwing it back into my purse and moving out of the stall. Making it to the sink and turning it on, washing my hands and splashing some water onto my face to wake me up slightly. I looked in the mirror and gave myself a reassuring nod, and stared at myself in the mirror. Truly taking in my form, studying my face and trying to wonder if truly Annabel was maybe more attractive than me. I stood up straight and gave myself a slight reassuring nod and moved to grab some paper towels, wiping my hands and throwing it into the trash.

I made my way to the door and opened it slightly, noticing Joost standing off to the side, phone in hand as he looked up at me standing in the doorway. “Hi.” Was all I could I muster up as I kept my hand on the door, standing there like an idiot. “You ignore me for weeks just to text me to meet you outside of a bathroom?” He said flatly as I took in his form; pants hanging off his hips and the shirt making his arms bulge out. I moved out of the doorway, letting it slam behind me as I moved to the wall next to it, resting against it; as I crossed my arms across my chest, making my breast bulge out of my top. “I guess so, but you still came to meet me, so what does that say about you?” I asked, leaning my head forward and raising my eyebrows. “I guess it means that I still think you’re beautiful and I want to still feel you around my cock.” He muttered before moving towards me, trapping me in between the wall and his body; moving his arms to either side of my head, steadying his palms on the wall.

“Mmm, is that so?” I asked, moving my head back and catching his view in mine. “Schatje, I’ve done nothing but think about that night. What could’ve been and how fucking mad you’ve been making me.” He dropped his voice an octave, moving his head toward me slightly while furrowing his brows. And I felt the creeping embarrassment coming in, but deciding that my drunken needs were more important at this moment, I knew I was drunker than before and I was truly letting my inhibitions run free.

“Yeah? You wanna show me how fucking mad I made you?” I bit my lip as a small half smile crept onto my lips, moving my head back slightly on the wall; moving my chin upwards. He took a sharp breath in and moved his head even closer to me, letting his lips graze my earlobe; “ja? Do you really want to do this? I’ll wreck you, liefde.” I could feel his lips form a smile on the side of my head before he pulled away, “meet me out front in thirty. I’ll say bye to my friends, you say bye to yours.”

────୨ৎ────

I stood on the side of the street, approximately 25 minutes after our last interaction; one more shot down after explaining my situation, vaguely to the group of girls I just met. Maria giving me a slightly nod through her disapproving look.

I was clutching my vape in hand, brushing some hair out of my face as I felt a presence behind me. “Did you miss me?” I felt a whisper in my ear as I felt familiar arms wrap around my waist, as I felt lips connect to my neck.

“Only if this is the guy who’s been terrorizing my thoughts for the past two weeks.” I quipped and I felt him smile on my neck, “terrorizing? Even for me that sounds like a strong word.” I pried his arms off me and turned around, meeting his gaze. “Ok, so yours or mine?” I asked, “so straight to the point,” he replied, “yours. I wanna fuck you in your bed.”

────୨ৎ────

After an awkward uber ride where he kept trying to move his hand up my thigh, under my skirt and giving me the most idiotic smile I’ve ever seen; we made it to the front door of my flat where I was struggling to unlock the front door while I felt his lips attack my neck while he kept pressing his half hard dick into my ass while whispering about he’s waited for this moment for ‘forever’ as he put it.

I finally unlocked the door and crossed into my flat, him stumbling after me and finally pulling away; looking around at small and bare place I’ve been calling home. “It’s nice.” He said in a tone that I just know was fake, rolling my eyes and moving forward to drop my keys onto the counter. “Don’t have to flatter me, it is what it is.” I turned around around to face him; finally taking him in fully for the second time tonight, the way his arms looked big and strong, how I could just tell he was sporting a half chub in his pants after whispering in ear everything he was gonna do to me once we got to my flat.

He looked intently at me before opening his mouth and closing it again, seeming to chose his words carefully before staring again, “are you always like this?” I shifted my weight to my other knee, while resting my body on my counter; “like what?” He moved closer to me from his stance, “a fucking bitch.” He continued before moving his hand to my hip. I pursed my lips and finally let out a stream of air from my nose; “yeah, actually I am. It keeps me safe.”

He forced his other hand onto my the other side of my body; resting it between my other hip and the counter, making me stand up straight. “Safe from what?” He asked, slowly moving his head down and letting his lips meet my exposed shoulder. I took a deep breath before stumbling over my words, “s-safe from certain things. People. Mostly men.” I mumbled. “Men? Ja?” He continued dragging his lips against my shoulder to my neck, kissing up to my ear and feeling his teeth slightly bite down on my earlobe. “I guess lucky for you, I like bitches.”

I took a sharp breath inwards, moving slightly back, “what the fuck does that mean?” I asked as he pulled back, giving me a puzzled look. “Are we gonna do this again?” He asked, in annoyed tone, “listen, I’ve been I’ve been thinking about you naked for the past like, two weeks at least and you keep making fucking hard.” I furrowed my eyebrows and pulled back completely from him, “are you fucking serious, right now?” I asked in a slight ruder tone than before as I pushed his hands off my body, “seriously? Again? Come on. You had my fingers in your mouth and were basically begging me to fuck you in the bathroom until you got weird about it.”

I started moving back to the small living space of my apartment, “dude, what the fuck.” I crossed my arms over my chest, swaying from the alcohol, “ok. I made the same mistake twice. Get the fuck out of my apartment.” He leaned against my counter and stared at me, “do you actually mean that?” I scowled and huffed, thinking about what I just said. Did I actually mean it? I knew deep down I wasn’t a mean dog so I didn’t know why I bite, I just let my emotions take over sometimes and say things out of anger. I dropped my shoulders slightly and let out a groan, leaning my head back and standing back up. “You’re right, I don’t mean that. I’m just letting my mouth run before thinking about it.”

I moved back over to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and reached up to make my lips meet his, immediately feeling him move against my body as he slowly brought his arms around me; moving his large hands to my ass, giving it squeeze. I started backing up again, making sure my hands kept on his shoulders so he’d follow me as we made my way to the couch, feeling the back of my thighs meet the arm of the couch. I started moving my legs apart to let him in between, finally feeling his crotch meet mine again; his fully erect dick pushing into my core, only my panties separating us.

He moved his hands to the bottom of my thighs, giving them a small squeeze, before moving his hands back to my ass; fully gripping it and and pushing upwards, picking up my body weight against his body and pushing my skirt up in the process.

He moved to the doorway that was off the side from my living room, walking through it and moving us to my small twin sized bed and slowly leaning down to drop me on the edge of it. He stood back up as I leaned back, noticing the strap of my shirt started falling down my shoulder; fully exposing the my nipple and it’s piercing. “Fuck.” I heard him whisper and slowly drop to his knees in front of me, placing his hands on my thighs. “I want to taste you.” Looking up to me in the dim light, I gave a small nod of approval as he worked his hands up my thighs, pushing my skirt up even more and grabbing the edges of my thong; pulling them down my legs and throwing them off to a dark corner of my room. I shifted my hips upwards, spreading my legs even more while watching him bite his lip and look my most private parts with amazement. He moved his hand down and pressed his thumb to my clit, making small circles and bringing his other hand to push two fingers into my hole.

“Holy fucking shit,” I whispered as I noticed a shit eating grin take over his lips, as he began slowing moving his fingers in and out of me. He removed his thumb from my clit and quickly replace it with his mouth, quickly pressing his tongue against the sensitive bud and swirling his it around the area. I let out a small whine as he pulled back, “schatje, get on your hands and knees real quick.”

I picked my head up and gave him a puzzled look, as he removed his fingers from me and pat my thigh, “c’mon.” I slowly turned around and positioned myself with my knees on the edge of the bed and hands laid out in front of me; presenting my bare ass to the air and I felt him take the cheeks in his hands; softly kneading them as he brought his mouth down again to my most sensitive area; beginning to attack it again. I let out a loud moan as I felt him smile against my pussy, flattening his tongue out and licking me from the bottom to the top of it, keeping his hands on my ass; keeping it spread.

He pulled back and I let out a soft whine, “What’s the hold up?” I barked behind me, “I’m trying to take in the view. I’ve been thinking about this beautiful pussy for the last two weeks, I need to feel it around me so badly.” He rubbed my ass before dropping his fingers through my folds again, eliciting a slight mewl from my lips. He grabbed my hips and turned me around so I was on my back again and motioned for me to sit up, helping me take my shirt off.

He quickly stood up, flinging his shirt off and hurrying to unbutton his pants, rolling them down his legs and kicking them off to the side. I looked up to the obvious bulge in his underwear, biting my lip and reaching my hand out; placing it over the tent as I palmed over the fabric. He instantly let out a moan and rolled his head back, “fuck, do you see what you do to me?” He groaned out as I smiled up at him and moved my hands to the band of his underwear, pushing them down his legs and he discarded them carelessly as he did with his pants.

“Stand up,” he commanded me, helping me get to my feet as he helped me unzip my skirt that was crumpled around my waist; letting it fall to the floor. He moved to the side of me and sat on the edge of my bed, motioning over to me; lazily jerking his dick. “I want you to sit on my cock, baby.” He gave me a smile and I nodded, in a trance-like state and moved forward, positioning my legs on either side of his thighs as he brought his hand up from his dick and moving it back through my folds; collecting some of the wetness and bringing it back down to his stiffness, moving it around it to use it for lube. I blushed at the sight of it as he moved his hand to my hip and started pushing down; lowering my core to his.

The tip made contact with my hole as I let out a moan, followed by a string of profanities. He let out a guttural sound that almost sounded feral as I fully made it down his length, sitting comfortably in his lap as I felt myself stretch around him; feeling the tip hit my cervix.

We sat there for a second, catching our breaths. “Okay,” I let out, a comfort statement to myself and started softly rolling my hips up and down as I let my head lull to the side, letting out a moan as he started bucking his hips up softly to meet mine. He moved his other hand up to my hip to keep me in place as he moved toward to my chest, staring intently at the small metal bars that adorned my nipples. “You’ve got to me fucking kidding me,” he said, “you’re so fucking hot.” He latched his lips onto my left nipple and let his tongue swirl around the piercing as he sucked on it. Bringing his hand up from my hip to start playing with the other one; mostly playing with the jewelry.

He moved his head back and bit his lip, looking up at me as he slowly started laying back into my bed, positioning himself to his head wouldn’t hit the wall it was pushed up against. I took that as a sign to lean forward, slowly rolling my hips as his started picking up pace. “Fuck, schat, I’m gonna cum.” He whispered as he closed his eyes and moved his hand to my clit, lazily rubbing it in circle. “Do you want me to cum in you?” That woke me up from my dickmatized state as I realized the severity of that question, “I think it’d be a lot better if you came on my face.” I replied nonchalantly, “Fuck. You’re a demon.”

He sat back up and made the motion for me to get on my knees and I complied, standing up swiftly and dropping to my knees as he got up from the bed and towered over me; positioning himself so he was above me. Moving his hand to his dick and giving it a few tugs before he let out a sharp breath, letting ropes of cum spill out onto my face as I closed my eyes and felt it make contact with my burning hot skin; as I opened my mouth and let some of it drip into it, closing my mouth and letting it fall down my throat. “Holy shit.” He let out a shaky breath as I moved back, resting my hands on the floor behind me as I let out a deep breath.

He gave me a look before moving out of the room and I heard a door open, realizing it was my bathroom before he quickly wandered back in; leaning down and wiping the towel against my face, helping me clean up. He threw the towel off to the side as he leaned down, taking my arm in his hand; starting to pull me up from my sitting position. I moved to my feet as he began herding me to my small bed, laying down and scooting closer to the wall, dropping his hand to my hand, pulling me down next to him. I turned so my back was pressed against his chest as he pressed a kiss to my shoulder, “I think that was the best drunk fuck I’ve ever had.” He whispered in my ear and I giggled, “ditto.”

He let out a soft yawn before I followed, as he snuggled into the crook of my neck and started drifting off to sleep, letting my body finally relax and close my eyes.

────୨ৎ────

I woke up the next morning, peeling my eyes open and realizing I had slight pounding headache before remembering how the night unfolded. I sat up abruptly and noticed the space next to me in my bed was empty. I quickly got up and picked up a tshirt off my floor and threw it on, grabbing my underwear from last night and slipping them over my feet and up my legs.

I made it out of my bedroom into the main area of my flat and looked around, noticing how still everything seemed. No noises except from the street below, I found my purse and found my phone inside it, unlocking it real quick and noticing a new notification from the man I had in my bed last night.

“Txt message: srry had 2 dip. Had fun tho! I’ll see u around.”

❀ want you bad by the offspring

❀ lucky me by $uicideboy$

❀ francis forever by mitski

❀ one more hour by tame impala

❀ a bitter song by butterfly boucher

❀ stranger by jhené aiko

❀ spirit desire by tigers jaw

❀ lucky you by deftones

❀ pretty when you cry by vast

❀ no ordinary love by deftones

❀ left alone by fiona apple

I took a final look in the mirror, opening my mouth to make sure none of my lip liner had bled onto my teeth and moved my hands up to make to make a few passes through my hair with my fingers. I couldn’t believe I let the cute blonde musician that I tattooed a minion on talk me into being guest listed for his concert.

When I brought up at the shop the day after we made the solid plans for me to come to his show; it was a riot. “Minion boy, huh? Minion boy is what it takes to get you actually out of your flat and experience Dutch night life?” Johannes, my shop owner laughed at me while I gave him the middle finger and rolled my eyes at him.

I made it out of my bathroom and took one final look in my full length mirror, I landed on a nice pair of wide legged black pants and nice black tank top. I figured it was basic, but I always made the joke that my tattoos are apart of the fit. I sat on my couch and began pulling my shoes on, hearing my phone ping right next to me.

“Incoming text message: “don’t forget I put it under ur actual first n last name but if they give u any issues u can also give them ur insta handle!! See u soon :D”

I smiled slightly, since he sent me an Instagram DM we went back and forth for a couple hours until finally he told me how he hates talking over DM’s and just asked for my number so we could text (nonstop, might I add.) Which, thank god for SIM card apps, which I had to have all three of my coworkers explain to me.

I got up from my second hand couch and grabbed my phone, moving over to my small purse and dropped in there; double checking I had my phone, keys wallet and passport before grabbing it and making my way out door and into the hot summer night.

────୨ৎ────

As I made my way up to the front of the venue, after the hassle that was the public transit system (which I made a mental note to research that more in depth later) I noticed how truly packed it looked, even from the outside. Loud chatter and cigarette smoke filled the air, making me feel nervous for some reason. Like one wrong move and these people could tell I was poser.

I started giving myself a mental pep talk as I rolled my shoulders back and made my way to the front of the line as it began moving, letting people in slowly, towards the small box office where a middle aged lady working it asked my name and looked down at a list and made a small “ah!” Sound and shouted some words in Dutch towards a guy wearing a red shirt with an inner ear piece in, “follow him!” She smiled at me.

He shoved a pass in my hand and basically through his broken English and my slight understanding of Dutch let me know this was gonna be my pass for getting around the venue. I walked through the front door with the crowd and that’s when I noticed how even more truly packed this place was. I gave a deep breath and moved the pass into my bag and decided I needed a drink. I haven’t had a night out since leaving the states and getting drunk off wine in my own flat while watching reruns of American reality tv wasn’t necessarily “experiencing life.”

I moved over to the bar and got the attention of the bartender, ordering a tequila soda while proudly presenting my passport and starting a tab. He passed it over to me and I started slurping it down and turned around. Deciding my best bet was going to be on upper balcony area of the venue; crowds were so not my thing. I located the stairs and quickly made my way up, proudly presenting my backstage vip pass to the venue worker at the top of the stairs and made my way to a spot that overlooked the stage to the right hand side. I got comfortable in my area when I noticed the lights dim and the crowd go into a frenzy with roars and loud boom erupted from the sound system. Oh boy, I should’ve definitely bought some ear protection….

────୨ৎ────

Three hours later and several tequila sodas sloshed down, I had a new appreciation for minion boy. The way he looked so effortlessly cool on that stage and new how to control a crowd was insane. Towards the end of the concert I decided the tequila was finally working and I had enough liquid courage to make it backstage and possibly have a face to face interaction with him.

I got redirected to a dressing room of sorts and when I walked in, several heads snapped up at me while all I could do is let out a small hiccup and let out the most pathetic, “hi!” While mustering up the most idiotic smile.

“…and you are?” One of the men asked me, in a thick accent, staring at me up and down.

“That’s that tattoo artist he’s been going on about, the one he personally invited. The American woman.” I noticed a familiar face call out, Parsa, I think his name was.

I stood up straight and nodded slightly, “Yeah, what he said.” I fiddled with the pass’ lanyard between my fingers and gave a smile, introducing myself to the group of new people. They instantly softened up and started introducing themselves to me, mostly close friends and collaborators of his it seemed.

One of the girls there motioned over to me to a open seat beside her and I clambered my way over there like a baby deer and sat next to her, she introduced herself again as Alanis and complimented my bag and I blushed slightly and gave a quiet thank you while complimenting her hair and shoes. “It’s nice having another girl back here to be honest, it’s usually just boys.” She playfully rolled her eyes and smiled while I noticed the boy next her moving his hand to her thigh, making a mental note that was probably her boyfriend or at least, boy that was more than a friend. We went back and forth for a few minutes until we heard loud laughter coming down the hall and into the room.

He walked in, shirtless and towel hung around his neck. Glasses pushed up his forehead and water bottle in hand and I swear that I almost felt my stomach fall out my ass right then and there. Everybody started congratulating him on tonight’s show and I could tell he was eating it up before one them offered him a shot, which he gladly took. It went on for a few minutes until he finally made his eyes around the room and those pair of baby blue eyes landed right on me.

“You came!” He said said with excitement in his voice as he made his way over to me and sat on the arm of the couch.

I looked up to him and gave him a half smile, knowing darn well I was barely containing my tipsy-ness, “I came!” Flew out of my mouth before realizing how it sounded and scrunched my nose up and shook my head, letting out a laugh.

“Something about you always managing to make it sound dirty when it’s not suppose to be, eh?” He quipped and I felt a rush of heat towards my cheeks while shrinking into the couch. He gave me a small laugh and turned to one of his friends that were calling for his attention, talking about plans they had after they get finished up here. Something about a few drinks at one of their houses and how everybody in the room is invited.

“Hey America! You coming?” The friend yelled out and I realized he was talking to me, mentally cringing at my new nickname. “Of course she’s coming.” Joost answered for me while I gave my at least, sixtieth dumb smile for the night.

────୨ৎ────

Another hour later and we were at the friends house, I had another drink (that was strong, might I add) in my hand and sitting on the couch next to my new acquaintance Alanis, who I learned was dating the man who had his hand on her thigh — named Apson, who was one of Joost’s close friends. She was easy to talk to and quiet like me, we decided from our spot would be the best place to people watch for the night. Except my eyes kept on one target; Joost. Everything he did from chugging a beer back and laughing from some joke one of his friends told kept me in a trance.

I snapped out of my trance when I heard my name being called, I turned my head towards her and mumbled “sorry,” and felt a blush creep up my cheeks. “You know, he’s not that intimidating of a person. You could just go up and talk to him.” She raised an eyebrow to me and gave me a small smile. “Is that so?” I took a rather large sip of my drink and stood up, “I think I need a cigarette or fresh air. Or maybe both.” I nodded and she pointed to the double doors that led out to the garden area.

I made my way over there and opened up the doors, walking outside and softly closing them behind me. Digging through my bag for a pack of cigarettes and I bought on my way over here, pulling them out and grabbing one from the pack; moving it between my lips and lighting it. Before I heard a voice from behind me, “You know smoking is bad for you, ya?” I jumped and turned around quickly noticing it was just Joost. “Jesus, why would do that to me?!” I whisper yelled while he let out a laugh, lighting up his own cigarette. “Sorry. Just too easy.”

I shook my head and smiled and sat down on the stairs of small porch, noticing him slowly moving behind me; taking a spot next to me on the stairs. “Are you having fun?” He asked, as we both stared ahead, “A blast. So much fun it should be illegal!” I let out in a small sarcastic tone, my speciality. I noticed he turned his head to me, eyeing me from his spot; his eyes dropping to my exposed flesh on my arms and chest, suddenly feeling silly about my tattoos, even if I did notice he had crazy frog tattooed on his arm. I took another drag of my cigarette and turned towards him, “hi.” I whispered out. “Hi.” He whispered back to me. I could feel the tension cut like a knife, we’ve texted from sunrise to sunset for the past three days, even snuck in a few phone calls here and there on my way to and from work.

I bit my lower lip and watched as he moved the cigarette down and pressed onto the concrete. Moving back up and staring intently right into my eyes to the point I thought I might just faint right there and now. I licked my lip slightly and moved my eyes from his down to his lips and then back up to his eyes watching his pupils slightly dilate in the dim lighting. The tequila and whatever was put in my hand 30 minutes ago were definitely making decisions for me at this moment as I moved forward slightly, watching him finally bridge the gap and press his lips onto mine.

I closed my eyes and started moving my lips softly against his, feeling his hand move to the small of my back as the other one moved to my jaw; feeling his fingertips brush against the area as goosebumps filled my arms. He moved deeper into the kiss, opening his mouth up slightly and I felt his tongue push against my lower lip as I softly opened my mouth against his; truly tasting the cigarettes and liquor on his breath. His tongue slowly crept into my mouth, almost like he was shy and I moved my tongue outwards, pushing my mine against his. I let my the cigarette fall from my hand as I brought it up and grabbed onto his wrist that was sitting next to my face, moving my other hand to his shoulder; slightly digging my fingertips into the soft flesh.

He pulled away and took a low shaky breath, “you’re okay, right?” I pulled back and gave him a puzzled look, “..I just know you’re drunk and like I’m drunk too but still, you know-“ I took his hand from my face and brought his fingers up to my mouth, kissing one of his knuckles and opening my mouth and pulling his pointer and middle fingers into my mouth before closing my lips around them. “fuck, mijn schatje.” I heard him whisper as my tongue swirled around the tip of them before letting it drop from my mouth.

I watched him take a deep breath and stand up quickly, reaching his hand toward me, “follow me.” He commanded as I got up from my spot and teetered over slightly, grabbing onto his hand as he began pulling me inside, the music and laughter of people drowning my thoughts and for once I was grateful for a crowd of people. I think I would be caught dead having somebody catch me being pulled to god knows where with a boy I had just met a few days ago, even if I just had his fingers in my mouth.

He quickly identified a room and opened the door, pulling me in behind him while turning the lights on. Closing the door behind me, and locking it. “A bathroom?” I raised my eyebrow, “I feel like a horny teenager and not, like, a horny adult.” I retorted with a small teasing laugh; letting air come out of my nose. He moved closer to me and placed his hands on my hips, “you didn’t give me much time to plan when you had my fingers down your throat, baby.” He dropped his voice as if he was scared somebody would hear us and moved his lips down onto my body, softly pressing his lips where my collar bone met the flesh of my neck and started moving upwards; trailing soft wet and sloppy kisses until he reached my ear. “Tell me what you want.” He said into my ear, “..Huh?” I looked puzzled off into space, “tell me what you want me to do to you, liefde.”

I put my hands on his chest and slightly pushed him back looked up at him through my eyelashes before biting down on my lip and moved my hands to the edge of the counter, pushing myself up onto it so I was sitting towards the edge. I moved my legs apart and brought my hand up to his shoulder, “I want to feel you,” I mustered up the courage to reply. He nodded and came in closer, connecting his lips back to mine as he feverishly moved them while pressing his body into mine; feeling his half hard cock press into my core I let out a small moan into his lips. He brought his hips back and rutted against me once more, as he let out a soft sigh into my lips and then dropped his head into the crook of my neck; pressing kisses every one and while in between moans while he moved his hips against mine. “I want to feel you around my cock, baby.” He mumbled into my neck as I moved my hand back behind me, setting it on the counter to stabilize myself and let out a deep breath; trying to center myself and push creeping thoughts out of the center of my brain. “Wait, wait, wait…” I mumbled and pushed slightly against his shoulder. He stood back and gave me a puzzled look, “what’s wrong?” He asked me as I started to lower myself from the counter, “I’m sorry…” I mumbled, “I don’t think I can do this.” I felt the drunk tears coming on for god knows why, I started moving to the door trying to unlock it in my drunk stupor. “Wait, what the fuck.” I heard him say from me behind me as I heard him move around, assuming he was moving his pants to hide his growing dick from the obvious tent that was just there a few minutes ago.

I got the door unlocked and made my way out of the small stuffy room, grabbing my purse from the place it was lazily put on an end table. Quickly going through it and counting my lucky stars that nothing was missing before quickly saying my goodbye to the few new friends I made tonight and making way to the front door, letting myself out onto the street before I felt the tears slowly forming down my cheeks.

I heard my name being called behind me by a voice that was just moaning into my ear fifteen minutes ago. I didn’t stop as I pushed through, moving my hand up to wipe my cheek with the backside of my thumb. Before I felt him grab my shoulder and turn me around, “What the fuck was that?” He bore into me with slight anger in his voice before I turned around and his face softened noticing the tears falling down my cheeks. “Hey… hey, what’s wrong?” He asked before I let out a small choke, “I-I just… I need to go home.” I let out before I backed up a few times, “this was a mistake. I shouldn’t have came tonight.” I continued, shaking my head and turned back around quickly taking off in the direction of the metro station, ignoring his calls for me that got more exasperated.

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I got back to my apartment and took my shoes off, making my way to the mirror and noticing my the makeup smudging beneath my eyes; slightly laughing at myself through my watery eyes because how silly I looked. I made my way to my couch and sat down, closing my eyes and letting out a sigh; I really should’ve stayed home tonight, it would’ve saved me the embarrassment that I just put myself through. I pulled my phone from my bag and noticed I had several missed calls and a multiple texts from Joost.

“txt message: what the fuck was that are you okay??”

“txt message: srs are u okay??? Pls respond”

“txt message: can u at least let me know you made it home okay or something that’s the least u could fucking do.”

I thumbed up that last text message and locked my phone again, sinking back into my couch. I knew I had issues when it came to dating and even more; when it came to sex. And it was my own fault I even ended up in that situation back there, I really should’ve listened to my brain and not my pussy. I got up from the couch and made my way over to the fridge, opening it up and grabbing the half drank bottle of wine, opting out of a wine glass and taking a sip straight from the bottle. I knew my hangover was gonna hurt like hell tomorrow but at this point, I didn’t care anymore.

I moved back to my couch and noticed I had a few more text messages come through but I pushed my phone off the couch and let it clang against the floor, I’ll deal with problems that I created later. taking another chug of wine and turning on my tv to rewatch another episode of love is blind before laying down on my couch; still in my outside clothes before slowly drifting off to a drunken slumber.