Summer had gone back and forth on this decision about a thousand times in the last couple of days. Sheād cried a lot, weighed the pros and cons, cried some more, and still she always came to the same conclusion; She had to let him go. It wasnāt fair to him to keep him in this state of hoping heād be able to have both of the girls he wanted. One of them had to walk away, and Summer already felt like she was on the outside as it was.Ā
When she arrived at Benās that evening, her heart was heavy. He let her in and she held her breath until they were both sitting on the couch. Only then did she start to speak, and once she started the words came pouring out. āSoā¦ a while back, you said it was going to be both of us or neither of us. And Iāve triedā¦ but thereās not much I can do beyond just tolerate her presence and thatās no way to form a relationship with someone Iām supposed to factor into the rest of my life. Itās not fair to me, or her, or you. Soā¦ I guess what Iām saying isā¦ it canāt be both of us.ā Her breath hitched and she wiped at the tears that were threatening to spill over.Ā
āAnd I know I canāt stop you if you decide you want to keep being with Quinnā¦ something tells me sheās who you wanted more anyway. You formed a claimable connection with her that much faster, soā¦ I want you to be happy, Sir. Even if itās not with me, though part of me really, really wishes that it could be with me. It just canāt be with her also.ā The tears were flowing more freely now, Summer was giving up on trying to keep them at bay.Ā
āThis is the hardest thing Iāve ever done. I really wish things were different but I justā¦ I canāt live with someone who makes me feel the way she does. Sheās the embodiment of every bully Iāve ever had, but for whatever reason she makes you happyā¦ But I need to be clear that you being with her, means Iām walking away.āĀ
Ben knew something was coming, he could feel it the last time he was with Summer. It was to the point he couldnāt even concentrate. His parents had called him several times in the last few days, but he just couldnāt engage. Not with his failed trial claim and his failure to help Summer and Quinn make progress. It felt as though everything was spinning out of control, but he was still looking forward to seeing Summer. Thatās how much he loved her.Ā
He took her hand in his, eyes steady on her face. It was an odd way to start the conversation, but that didnāt stop the devastation from taking over. Still, he focused in, trying his best to take in all of her words because at the very least he deserved that. His only saving grace as Summer explained was that he already filed this as the worst possible scenario. He just didnāt think it would come so soon, if at all.Ā
There was a big part of him that wanted to throw a fit, to fight and argue but he always swore to make things as easy as possible for his girls - well, the people he cared about, and he was going to hold true to that. Perhaps that was coping out to most people, but it physically hurt him to keep it together for her. That didnāt stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.Ā
āIām sorry I did things the way I did. I should have been more open with you from the beginning and Iām going to regret that for the rest of my life.ā He took in a deep breath and cupped her face with both hands.Ā āI love you so much, Summer. But I love Quinn and I canāt make myself walk away from either of you. I canāt walk away from Quinn. As much as I need, love, and want you. But if this is what you need to do for yourself, I canāt stand in your way.ā His dissolve broke more and more with every word and by the time he reached the end of his words, he was gasping for air.Ā āIām so fucking sorry, bombshell. I love you. I wish I did things differently.ā
