Tim's Page?

will you marry me = a marriage proposal will, you, Mary, me = a foursome proposal

Will you, Mary me = Cavewoman Mary helps Will recover from his Amnesia

Will, you marry me. = Will’s time-traveling partner

what i’d really like is for someone to objectively watch me for a week or so and then just sit down with me for a few hours and explain to me what i am like and how i look to others and what my personality is in detail and how i need to improve where do i sign up for that

This is why you cant trust women, even when theyre mouth is closed theyre still lying to you

what does this mean

green eggs and ram

i saw that and shut my laptop and walked away for a solid minute

what’s the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?

you can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna

What does glue have to do with this

i knew you’d get stuck there

*gets absolutely nothing done* well time for a break

Same here

I always say my mum swallowed a crayon whenever someone asks: “How long have you been drawing?”

Back in my day, we didn’t have menu screens. When a movie ended it was replaced by a tranquil, bright blue screen that suddenly became screeching, demonic static if you didn’t turn off the TV in time.

This is really important to know because most victims will see the Tension period as their abuser “trying to be better” for the longest time, and it can take years for them to understand that is a lie. By then, it’s usually too late.

Somebody please start teaching this in school.

my friend told me how electricity is measured and i was like watt

You forget ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Never Forget ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

high school more like sigh school

Is that Reptar. 

If I put up a donate button will you guys donate to me and support my dream of becoming rich