Original jokes @jokesimakemyself - Tumblr Blog

-"Fatty"

~ "ohh she just called you fat"

-"well if the pants don't fit"

#burn #burrrnnnn #burrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn #burnn #burrrrnnnn #burrrrrnnnnnnn #burrrnnnnnn #shewasfat

•18+ Adults Only

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my sis: she thinks since I have 50 makeup brushes I won't notice one missing

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?" Matthew 18:14

#bibleverse #lol #obsessedwithmakeup #dontstealmyshit #Iwillnotice #ialwaysdo

Roses are red Violets are blue Candy is on sale the day after Valentine's Day Cash me ouside how bow dah

#forgiveme #sorryyouhadtoreadthis #butsrsly #candy #is #mylife #Ihadadream #thatiwas #diabetic #recurringdream

Cubicles were made for pillow forts

#no one will convince me otherwise #convinced #itstrue #funfact #usethemright #truth comes out

#foundthisatmyschool #onthewall #dying

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Cute boy: You have beautiful eyes. Let me see that cute face. Wanna cuddle?

Me to me: Yeah he just wants to be friends I have to accept that

#boys #tinder #relationship #singleforever #single #singleforlife

Me: joins a dating app to get them boys

Bois: wanna meet?

Me: I'm free three weeks from wednesday from 2-3pm

#bois #;) wink wonk #ihatemyself #toomuchstuff #single #allthesingleladies #funnyish

I dont know which is worst

reading memes and uncontrollably choking out loud ugly laugher in a silent office at work

or in a bathroom stall

#YOUdidthistome #thanksobama #Imeantumblr #memeskillme #Idontknowwhattodo

AND UP NEXT

GIVE IT UP FOR *reads notecard* KAYLA AND 4 GUYS SHE MATCHED WITH ON TINDER

#instruments #newband #funny #startingaband #howtostartaband #tinder #dontjudgeme #band

Solve world hunger: when eating a taco, hold it over another taco so when the taco debris fall, they fill up the next taco, thus creating never-ending taco energy. Bam! next problem.

#worldhungersolved #nextproblem

•18+ Adults Only

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my sis: leave my presence

me: I didn’t get you any presents

#ohhhhhh #oh #ohhhhhhhhhh #burn #whatnow #sucka #hehe #muahaha #imsofunny #whenyouactuallyhaveacomebackattherighttime #comebacks

Online dating guy: I recognize you, youre the girl from walmart at midnight in an eeyore hoodie buying just a jar of taco sauce.

me: yeah it was taco tuesday

#tacos #tacosarelife #tacosauce #midnight #eeyore #latenight

As a single girl looking for love, it’s important to always keep a noodle in my purse in case a boy wants to kiss and bam pull it out and lady and the tramp

#lady and the tramp #spaghetti

My sister: can i have a bite of your hotdog

Me: THATS WHAT SHE SAID

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