johnnysilverhandeeznuts

seeing the bus scene in a new light after my rewatch because ohh my god ryan was actually just so ridiculously giddy about naim liking him back. they go and talk to this girl who tells them that the entity looks like who you're most into, and ryan's shifting awkwardly from foot to foot bc welp. guess the truth abt his crush is out there now. what can you do. but then he looks to his left and naim is just as awkward, eyes flicking to him and then away. and wait, hang on a minute. ryan's entity looking like naim is a given, but naim's entity looks like him too. when jessica yells at naim he puts a protective hand on his back because that's something he feels suddenly allowed to do now, knowing what it means that naim's entity looks like him. and when they're on the bus, naim still reeling from the near miss, ryan talks him down, holds his hand, refusing to let fear ruin this. bc he's had a crush on the new kid since he came to town, and he had to work up a shit ton of courage to lead him to the mill and take that first leap of faith. he hadn't lied, when he told naim it was his first time. what he had with hunter was nothing like this. and now he's there on the bus with naim, and even after all the insane shit that's happened and is still happening, he can't help but be stupidly excited by the fact that naim likes him back. yeah this evil demonic entity might never leave them alone, but ryan's just found out naim likes him to the point that it takes his form to tempt him and as fucked up as that is it's kind of validating too. naim likes him, and he kisses ryan back when he leans in, shifts in his seat to give him more room, and you know what? fuck it. ryan's gonna give him the best hand job of his life on this bus right fucking now

one thing i find strange about TERFism and trans-criticism is how much of it is just attractiveness politics. it seems to be the leading talking point. sure, make your points on sexual dimorphism or biological sex differences (which any normal trans woman is fully aware of already, mind you. the average transsexual is not claiming she’s experiencing period cramps lol) but so much anti-trans discourse seems to just be “well you’re ugly so you’re not a woman and i feel unsafe.” which seems…. so counter-productive to your movement. trans women, like any group of people, are nowhere near exempt from criticism, but what is the point of putting so much emphasis on such an empty and invalid viewpoint? so much of feminism seems to hark on how men only respect women they find attractive, yet the majority of your breath is spent on here pointing out physical characteristics that you seemingly think invalidate someone’s identity. how does having broad shoulders, a wide jaw, and a five o’clock shadow somehow equate to being a predatory rapist? it’s a mindset i’ve never understood. obviously it’s prevalent outside trans discourse, people just generally seem to equate ugliness with evilness, but you would think a group of individuals who posture themselves steeped and rooted in theory and academics wouldn’t weaponize such a vapid and vague talking point. (not to say only terfs do it, your average Internet Man absolutely loves to dunk on the fuckability of any given trans woman at any given time, but….. fork found in kitchen.) idk, i’ve just always found it odd. like i’m sorry but i just don’t buy into the idea that you’re supposed to be reasonably terrified of someone in a public bathroom because you think they’re ugly. i think you might just be an asshole.

just finished sunrise on the reaping… i’m leaving the cinema in an ambulance omg

haymitch memorising all 18 stanzas of the raven for lenore dove fucks me up oh my god who else was loverboying like him