Joel Boyens

Today is day #1 of my self-destructive protest against the alien-demon scourge. Spirits are low, hopes are down, but what's up is a boat load of insanity and delusions to boot! So, here we go!

I was thinking recently something like, the importance of making every moment matter. And it got me thinking, I don't make every one of my meals special, but shouldn't I? I guess the answer is 'not really', considering every time I think of such a notion I think of royalty and how they eat fancy meals all the time. But does royalty get to enjoy comfort food? Noo, I don't think so. So in that respect I feel much more content living a life of mediocrity than having an absolutely and totally posh lifestyle. Royalty really is missing out on that privilege.

Just something to think about, until then take care fellow insane-heads.

Anyone willing to treat another living being the way I've been treated does not deserve to live. It's atrocious to think there are actually lifeforms out there who would be able to justify tormenting or abusing to the point that I have been. It's awful, it's like torture you can't escape from. And the worst part is he's getting away with it! That's why I want to take over the universe, so I can prevent people like Steven from controlling it and ruining it for everyone else. Anyway that's all I got for today my fellow insane-heads. I'll hit you all up later!

For now that's all I got. Till then, take care my fellow insane-heads.

There's a per in my group right now that's a hot link. They're a crazed maniac, and it infects the well-being of everyone else in the group. I'm currently trying to get them expelled... from the group, not from life (necessarily). I'm not sure everyone else in my group is on board with me or not... I think there's still a lot of unspoken loyalty toward this one individual. I just hope for the group's sake, that he doesn't ruin the integrity of everyone else in the group before his expulsion.

If you're not familiar a while ago (at least a couple times now) I've pretty much effectively destroyed all of my artwork in protest of the alien-demons treatment of me. Yet, lately they've been pestering me, calling me a book burner. And I'm just like... Jesus fucking Christ, are you serious? I'm more equivalent of a man immolating himself to death in my act of destroying all of my artwork- which, in a sense was my livelihood. Now what?

My hypothesis is that God only existed before the universe was actually formed. This is because the God I believe in, Omniuni, is the collective manifestation of the entirety of everything in existence. This would mean God is much like the universe. In that sense, if God were to exist as an extension of the universe, then the only time he would ever be whole and 100% complete would be in the state of the universe just the moments prior to the big bang. AKA, the singularity. So in this case, my main point is that God did exist, once, but then as the universe cooled and formed after the big bang he was lost, and we're only left with remnants of his dead body, which will never live gain.

I've always been a large proponent against suicide. I've always said, I'd live as long as I can as long as my life was still worth it. The only thing I could conceivably imagine that I'd commit suicide under was if I were suffering and had no hope of survival otherwise. That's the scenario I'm in right now. I've been telepathically assaulted relentlessly by a hoard of alien-demons for over a decade now, and there is no end in sight. And so what I'm doing is just saying this loud and clear before it ever gets to this point. That if I'm still being assaulted by these alien-demons by the time I'm 40, then I'm going to kill myself. I'd be doing it, I'd be going to commit suicide. I can't stand it. My life wouldn't be worth living at that point. I really hope it never gets to that point, and I don't think it will. But I'm just covering all my bases in anticipation for, in case I ever need to actually commit suicide.

Well, when I first created this subreddit it was meant for this exact purpose. As a safe space for insane people like me (and others!) with unreasonable accounts of things which to them are explicitly true. Because no one would care or listen to them otherwise. Now, how true these accounts may or may not be, I don’t know. I’m not here to judge. And I don’t really want to be judged for what I have going on now. I just know that for me this is very true and very real and I have no idea how else to express myself other than to make it my dedication to come here every day and detail my life and what living with these horrible beings really is like.

Same shit different day. Voices told me I don't deserve to go to church, I internalize it, start believing it myself, stop going. I don't know if I'll ever feel I deserve to go again at this point, what being a "heretic" and all. What do you think, should I try going again? Or go somewhere else.

And that's where I'm left today. It's felt like a part of my soul was cut up like my story was. I know I'll be able to move forward from this, and that even still my story might be that much better as a consequence of this. But it still hurts. And it still feels like I lost something very important to me in the process, and I've been leave to heal from these deep wounds that have been inflicted upon me.

You ever think pooping is easier for males than it is females? Y'know, because of the prostate. Like, I just imagine all the times the relief of dropping a massive shit feels so good, but I'm a man. What if part of that feeling is in due part to my prostate? Do women feel this way? Is there any way we can objectively know if boys have an better time crapping than girls because of this?

I just had this edgy idea like, how they have harm reduction clinics for people who do hard drugs. Maybe they could make a clinic for people who self harm instead! What would that even look like? Maybe, there's nurses who inflicts wounds on people in a safe environment. And it's sterile too, they'd even apply aid to the area with a bandage and antibiotic cream. Plus, if this was all done under a controlled manner, there's less risk of scarring. So it'd not only protect potential victims of self harm from actually hurting themselves, they'd save their bodies in the process too! Man, I am just on it today.

Notice I said improper, "hell," not proper "Hell." The difference? Well, proper Hell is a place, a mystical state of existence where evil sinners go in the afterlife. Improper hell is a state of being, and describes things which are agonizing, cause anguish, or are otherwise tormenting. This isn't even an original idea... this is like, a pretty common trope. Y'know, though, my point is that if God and Heaven and all that really exists then that's like, thos are realms which are equivalent to the bouncy house of reality. Everything in Heaven is supposed to be pure and all that shiz and we just don't got that on Earth. We're in hell. We're literally in Hell!

I have never in my life felt like I've wasted my time doing something I wish I could get back or have spent doing otherwise. And it feels, F!@#ING, AWFUL. I feel absolutely slighted, like those times I've lost have been completely destroyed and I have no hope of ever getting back. I jokingly say, "well, maybe my assailants will be brought to justice one day." But nay, we all know that's just hopeful, wishful, thinking. And that those times I lost will never be regained, regardless of how much justice one can shove up an ethereal being's asshole.