The Culture of Detachment
“The first one to be attached loses.”
One way or another, we already heard or read this line or something similar to it so many times by now. They say that the ones who catch feelings and who absorb emotions first lose, because these things imply being hurt. It is as if human emotions had become viruses that we all avoid as much as possible. This is the reason why nowadays, most people act detached and despise attachment.
Interacting with different people, I had come to notice that most act in a nonchalant manner – showing little to no care at all, acting cold and distant, living life with a superficial approach. Yes, I would pretty much say that the detachment, indeed, has become a culture and practice for most people in our generation.
Attachment had become a taboo. Nowadays, we would rather be detached than attached. Well, we could not blame anyone about it because the former involves no sensibility and pain, while it is the other way around for the latter. Our tight grip onto something or someone sometimes just brings us pain. Sometimes this pain does not leave us. Instead, it continues to live inside us and slowly turns into a hardener – numbing and compacting our hearts.
The cycle does not stop, it just goes on and on but with different people entangled in the mess. What we are not aware of is that while we ourselves are hurting, we are also unconsciously bringing agony and distress to others. Our detachment affects other people in ways we aren’t fully aware of. Sometimes it hinders other people to form attachment with us and to express how they honestly feel about us. Similarly, many are afraid to express affection towards another person just because they do not want to appear needy or over-the-top. It creates a barrier that may be penetrated, however would be a big challenge to do so. What’s even disheartening is that many people wear detachment as if a medal, full of pride and indifference.
Because of this culture of detachment, desultoriness has become a norm. Many would just go being half-interested in something, and half in-the-moment. Likewise, people would go exerting only half the amount of effort they could be exerting. We became fearful giving our all, only to not be receiving the same thing back. Ultimately, we became detached to the idea that one day everything we give will find their way to be given back to us.
What we are forgetting is that human beings are imitative creatures, given the circumstances that permit us to do so. If shown enormous effort and kindness, we find a way to reciprocate these. On the other hand, if welcomed with a tidbit of energy and interest, we exude lethargy and apathy. Clearly, this just shows that what we give away tends to be recompensed.
Living a life half-heartedly gives us experiences that are also half of what they could’ve been like. The experiences we have accumulated in our days are the building blocks of the person we are today. This means that keeping on living with detachment and fear of attachment creates a person that’s different from what we could have been. Think about it. Indulging in emotions and feeling everything is perhaps not so bad as it seems. Maybe being attached to someone or something isn’t really a bad thing, after all we are all just specks of dust in this vast universe.
2087
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