“sounds great.” he nodded and looked away again. it pained him to know that he was about to crush his friend’s world. pained him so much that he almost wanted to chicken out, didn’t want to bring up the topic. but he knew it was now or never. if he stepped back from the opportunity once then he would do it again and eventually take the secret to the grave. especially since brandi had made very clear that she wouldn’t bring up the issue with cody. jon leaned back and sighed heavily. “i’m glad things are working out for you so well. you deserve it more than most people i know. though, that doesn’t have to mean much considering who i hang around ...” he found himself thrifting off. usually so good with words, jon’s tongue felt heavy today. were there even the right words for something like this?

@kiingdcm       /       his gut felt so heavy and hot and jon knew that for once it wasn’t the type of nervousness he craved to feel alive. for once he despised the feeling, didn’t want it. it wasn’t the kind of heat he’d feel before stepping into the crowd or before kissing a girl. nah. this nervousness ... it wasn’t what it pretended to be. what he thought were his nerves getting to him actually was guilt. and when he looked into his friend’s sharp eyes the feeling spread through his veins, through his body.