@kiingdcm / his gut felt so heavy and hot and jon knew that for once it wasn’t the type of nervousness he craved to feel alive. for once he despised the feeling, didn’t want it. it wasn’t the kind of heat he’d feel before stepping into the crowd or before kissing a girl. nah. this nervousness ... it wasn’t what it pretended to be. what he thought were his nerves getting to him actually was guilt. and when he looked into his friend’s sharp eyes the feeling spread through his veins, through his body.
a dishonest smile found its way to his lips when cody made a joke. fuck. he really needed to say it out loud before he’d get swallowed by his feelings. something he tried to avoid. some days it worked. some it didn’t. but cody ... he was a true friend to him. so he owed it to him. he owed cody the truth. “so ... how are things with the baby?” he uttered with the usual raspy voice, trying to get an opening to reveal the painful and dirty truth. the truth that he’d gone behind his best man’s back and done the loving with the one person who cody couldn’t love anymore. and after all of this ... maybe he wouldn’t be able to love jon anymore either.
