what? were you expecting something?

"do it scared" this "do it tired" that. well no one ever talks about the fucking insurmountable "do it with greasy hair"

when I was like 14 I used to reblog these posts on here that were like "YOUR 20S ARE NOT AN IMAGINARY RACE YOURE DOING JUST FINE!!" just to be positive towards my older mutuals even though i didn't really get what they were about and I'd be in the tags like "#so true!! #everyone does things at their own pace!!" and now im 24 I'm thinking back to it and it's like Oh of course the imaginary race. Which im losing

Avoidance is the worst reaction to stress. Oh this thing is giving me anxiety? And it's something I could prepare for by looking at it more or learning things about the topic? No, I will take psychological damage if I look at it directly. I will still be thinking about it and be stressed though.

imagine if i did my work. if i sat down and Did it. and it was Done. can you even imagine such a thing

My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed

im doing good! you know. besides the underlying feeling that I'm fundamentally incapable of fitting in in a society. besides that i'm chillin

don’t take my defeatism too seriously I will always begin again and again no matter what

I might sound miserable most of the time but at my core I’m a very hopeful person