jinn

i hate love, it makes me sick. the thought of me letting someone into my life and seeing my vulnerable is putrefying. i have nothing to worry about though, no one has enough gut to try and love me.

i love my rowan, hes the sweetest boy ever sobs. when i didnt text anyone for like the whole day he posted me and texted me saying he missed me. i rlly dk what id do without him

im so desperate for someone to love me, but i dont want anyone to deal with me. im too much but not enough. i dont want to put anyone through me.

sorry i have to post or ill have a panic attack

😗 ok im done idk i feel dumb now

sigh 😞😞😞 im lonely now idk what to do

i hate all u bitches whatever. i want attention 😔😔 fuck u all

let me play doctor with you

i want to be held like a person, not carried like a burden. i want to be held for no reason, not because you feel obligated to. i want to feel light for once, like someone is more than happy to carry me.

i loathe everyone in someway, hate doesnt describe what i feel. nothing describes it. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. fuck you.

can you die

found pictures from my ed, i miss you.

i want to slit your throat and watch as everything leaves your eyes and your body relaxes. i need to dissect your body. i want to rebuild a new you, a better you. i want to cook your heart and eat it for dinner. i want to take your pancreas and make soup with it. i want to blend up your kidneys and use it as a sauce. i want your blood to be what i drink and what resurfaces after i’ve realized what id done. ill curse myself, but also praise myself. ill hate myself but love my body because you were inside of me. ill keep spare parts of you just to feel your touch again.

im half tempted to take a knife and murder everyone in this house and then myself