jester jabbering

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

I actually do genuinely love when people make sincere angst art of children's shows. The depth people create in the things they carry close to their heart always inspires me. Like yknow what? What if it WAS that deep. And even deeper. Take my hand. Let me explore this topic with you

They should make it easier for trans women

God everything fucking sucks. If one more thing in my life goes wrong im gonna [Remembers suicide jokes are bad] I'm going to. To. Tooooo Neeeaaaoooowww [Making airplane noises] [Moves my hand around mimicking an airplane] Weeeeeaaaaaaoooooowwwww [Crashes airplane directly into wall and punches my hand through it and breaks all bones in my hand] PSHHHHHH BOOOOOMMMMMM BHAAAAAHHH [Explosion] WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO [Sirens] [Emergency alert] ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

(takes a long drag of my cigarette) people used to make amvs with i cant decide by the scissor sisters

At the end of the day, my thoughts on job hunting are that it's incredibly stupid how every fiber of our current socioeconomic structure is screaming that you MUST have a job and nothing else matters because you MUST be working and that's the only thing of true importance so never forget that you MUST have a job, and I'm like damn okay so I'd like a job, can I have one? And the answer is No

The ending of Pokopia is as sweet as it is funny, because I think if I was tragically separated from my pet and years later got a postcard that had a picture of it and a bunch of other animals rebuilding a Wal-Mart, I'd be as touched as I was completely and utterly bewildered.

i wish you could tell cats your food is poison. he seems to think the issue is i've forgotten that he is my kind and loving friend. the issue is Hospital