JESS AND THE CITY

I’m dedicating this month to self care and I encourage you to do the same. For any of us, self care can be a different thing. It can be caring for your body in the physical state; a trip to the spa, shopping for new clothes. It can be taking care of yourself in a mental state: taking up meditation, drinking a glass of wine and reading a book, or taking a new course to learn something new. 

It can also mean taking care of yourself financially, which is something I’m dedicating my month (and hopefully longer) to. Anyone who knows me knows I like coffee, great food and good wine. Last month, excluding trips, I spent roughly $937 on coffee, food and wine. 

Do you know what I could have done with that money? 

So, for the remainder of the month, I will not buy coffee from any local shops, we will eat in, and I will reduce my wine consumption by half. In addition to saving money, I expect some other changes will occur as part of the change, the most important being some pounds dropping from the scale. 

Are you a black woman who owns a business (online or brick and mortar)? 

Add your business to my FREE business directory. I’m starting a business directory of ONLY black woman owned businesses. 

Click here to fill out the registration form and i will contact you when your business is up! 

This is an inclusive business directory, so black trans women, afro-latinx, disabled, femme bodied butches, etc are welcome. If you identify as a black woman, you are more than welcome to add your business to this resource.

Sunday selfcare: this peach Bellini soda goes great with any wine, particularly Rose but I only had red wine at home.

Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored ad. I was not gifted this and used my own money for this honest review.

How many of you own a subscription box? I’ve never really been into the fad but one day, while reading my Essence monthly issue, I saw the Essence beauty box. To be honest, Essence and I have a long history. I grew up and the first thing I can remember reading were my mom’s Essence magazines. It meant a lot to see beautiful women who looked like me, looking flawless across the pages of the magazine. So as I grew up, I bought my own subscription and watched the magazine grow too. 

From its online platform, to Essence debates during lunch to this new subscription service, Essence embodies my lifestyle as a black woman.

Most of my hesitation to get into the subscription box fad was because I wasn’t sure if they would have “me” in mind. This isn’t something to worry about at Essence. This is made specifically with black beauty in mind. You can even log in and make or edit your beauty profile, so the box can be made with your skin tone, hair texture and beauty needs in mind. The price is fairly affordable too, with the price point being $15 a month for a box of around 5 goodies. 

Each month, usually around the 15th, you’ll receive around 5 items in your box. I’m going on my third month with the subscription. Here are some of my favs:

Don’t get me wrong, Brandon and I have VERY different views on getting married. From the time to the costs, to the people, we’re polar opposites. The other day, I saw this post running my facebook timeline (a nice break from those white college friends who were cool until they “grew up” to be racist) showing the beautiful wedding of two people at the San Francisco city hall. I was automatically filled with a little envy. It seemed so simple and so fun. Check out the photos beyond the break:

If you live in Houston like us, you know that this is not as easily accomplished. I don’t know if absolutely no one gave any damns when constructing the city, but almost every official city building looks like a 1980s style fortress. So much for a wedding on a budget with beautiful photos.

I don’t fix plates. I wish I could say it was some super legit reason behind it but it’s a mix of my pure laziness and the fact that my ass cannot cook. 

Just like brandon, I can go on Pinterest and find a recipe and it never comes out good. And brandon TRIES to eat it, but I’ve never seen him clean a plate I’ve cooked. Also, i would like to say i gauge my ability to cook by how many times the fire alarm goes off. I burned our toaster oven to the point where we had to throw it away.

I was warming up fries. Already cooked fries. Just warming them up.

When I want some kind of motivation to get out here, there are the ladies and gentleman I follow to get my culinary queen on (and burn something).

1. The Kitchenista

Angela is #foodbae. She is the only chef (who started out as a home cook btw) who I’ve used for recipes and actually had the food come out good! Her food is beautiful, and she’s very personable. (Not to mention her daughter Raven is gorgeous). In addition to sharing her recipes for free on her blog, she has amazing e-cookbooks that are worth every penny. I’ve bought the thanksgiving e-book with hopes to land a husband out of brandon this November.

2. Foodie in New York

Vallery is a major foodie first, and a chef second. She’s also a writer and attorney who has made food appreciation a calling. Her food appreciation allows her share quick and easy treats and meals that are full of color and flavor.

3. Be Vegan

Now most of the time, my reaction to the word vegan is a swift eye roll because I live for summer family reunions with my old ass uncle on the grill. However Shantelle makes #meatlessmonday a possibility, even for the most avid steak and potatoes southern girl around. Also Shantelle is a one of the few vegans on instagram that looks like their food has seasoning in it. Her blog is a mix of recipes, personal experiences and talking food and healthy eating with kids.

4. Kitchen Cray

Men get in the kitchen too! Jr Robinson is a chef and caterer who has become one of the faves of celebrities like Lisa Raye, Ciara, Marlon Wayans, Kelly Price and Mona Scott Young. His catering business and his staff of amazing black chefs also dedicate themselves to educating others about food and nutrition.

5. Mr.GoodlyCooks

Ben is an Alpha and Engineer who turned his hobby into a photogenic passion. His blog and his Instagram is filled with amazing cuisine weekly, as well as a glimpse into his life. One of the most interesting things about following him is watching his growth. He’s a Louisiana local so be sure to check out his fresh seafood dishes.

How in the HELL do you motivate the girl who doesn’t like to sweat?

About two years ago, I got super motivated to lose weight and kinda got in the habit of working out. I lived in the suburbs and found a really cheap gym that had a huge pool, a massive walking track and free Pilates classes. My domain was the exercise bike- it’s literally the laziest form of exercise. My legs are already pretty toned and i got to sit down while working out. Perfect.

Well when I moved to the city and moved to a job smack dab in Houston’s Midtown area, that 2-4 times a week spent in the gym turned to 2-4 times a week at happy hour. With the pounds starting to pack back on, and as I eat a torchy’s taco with one hand while typing slowly with the other, I’ve found some ways to jump start your activity.

Sidenote: It’s basically April. Let’s just accept that we’re going to be fat for the summer. And thats fine, as long as we’re healthy.

1. Get a dog.

My 17 pound pup is pretty used to my laziness. However, all dogs love to run. And if Riley was an Olympian, she would be Usain Bolt. I got her exactly a year ago next month and until I moved, I did a good job of making sure we hit the dog parks once or twice a week. With Brandon and I living together, we’ve decided to commit to taking her out more often. What I like most about long distance walking the dog is the pace. It’s not a run, its just a relaxing walk where you can take everything in. Playing a game of catch adds to that.

2. Get a FitBit and get to challenging people. 

I know im lazy, but when I first got my fitbit and saw that I moved an average of 2,000 steps a day, I was ashamed at how committed to laziness I was. With the fitbit, it makes you super accountable for your sloth like tendencies. The best way to amp up your activity is to join a challenge. I believe everyone is a bit competitive, so the concept of losing doesn’t fall easily on anyone. When i see I’m behind on steps, I typically start taking the stairs or head to go workout after work just to stay ahead and win. It’s a weird concept, but it works...well.

Black owned bar scrappy browns provides a twist on cultural favorites and honors the neighborhood its in with colorful drinks.

I love a good drink, and a great happy hour. I also like light bites, and a great staff. Scrappy Brown’s located right off Almeda in the museum district provides all of that. 

For months, I wondered what the spot, with hues of bright orange highlighting the building, was going to be. The spot moved from concept to opening with almost a snail-like pace, sitting for months. Every detail of the spot had to be perfect, as the business is a passion for Chef Chris Williams. 

You might have heard of Chef Williams if you’ve ever had the food at Lucille’s down the street on LaBranch. 

Who remembers grandmother’s oxtails? Well with revamped and new bar fare (look, i’m over the million different ways to make a pretzel fancy”)  like delicious oxtail sliders and wings packed with a strong garlic heat, you won’t be disappointed. 

Since its opening, I’ve been there about once a week without letting anyone know my intentions of blogging about my experiences. 

We’ve all been on twitter when the same debates pop up. How do you like your grits? What’s the best Kanye album? But perhaps one of the most interesting debates is the $200 date. Regardless of how you feel, Valentine’s day tabs can run high when you’re trying to impress. 

There are plenty of options in Houston for great food this lover’s weekend; however, most will break your pockets. While most publications are counting down options that will run a MINIMUM of $200 before you even get buzzed, there is one dinner option that covers setting, drinks, quality and good food for 80 dollars a couple. 

Yes, 80 bucks for two people. Some people spend more on a typical Saturday, but Simone’s on Sunset, an intimate retreat tucked in Rice Village is offering a dinner complete with dessert and libations for a steal.

For $39.95, you’ll get an arugula and beet salad, a bacon wrapped filet mignon, with mashed potatoes and two sides, and a slice of chocolate cake with fresh strawberries. This already elaborate dinner comes with a glass of house wine.

There is no doubt that Simone’s will deliver on delicious food. The intimate spot is one of my favorites during the week with a $10 lamb burger on Monday and $10 gourmet pizzas on Wednesday and an extensive wine collection sure to satisfy the snobbiest connoisseur. 

The intimate setting feels exclusive and its sure to be a place that you will return after the 14th. 

Keep in mind that a reservation IS required to enjoy their Valentine’s special, so hurry up and call 346.980.8107 or email [email protected].

Simone’s on Sunset

2418 Sunset Blvd.

346.980. 8107

One of my mom’s biggest regrets and proudest moments centers around my voice.

Long ago, when I was a kid, she gave me permission to always tell her how I felt and have an open dialogue with her. I took that word as law and from there on I didn’t shut up. In the midst of teenage angst, (and retrospectively my making a big deal about shit that REALLY didn’t matter) that voice was my downfall, the catalyst to a lot of arguments and constant punishments that included no TV, no internet, and no cell phone. That voice evolved from innocent childhood ramblings to “talking back”. Contrary to the advice of my mom, (and friends), my voice and my opinion were going to be heard, regardless of consequence.

That same voice, years later, now matured by the joys, pains the reality of young adulthood is my mother’s pride. Often just contained in her idiom “I know my child”,  my mom is very protecting of her child’s decision to be strong willed, outspoken and in her words “rebellious and militant”. She often tells people that my will, although testing the hell out of her during my teenage years, is what makes her proud of me. 

There is a wild naiveté to me, or maybe its ego,  that believes that my voice means something. Or better yet, that it can mean something. And when I start to doubt it, I’m taken back to that seemingly minor conversation on the southside of Houston during dinner with my mother. 

two weeks.

that’s how long I have at my current job, and with a pile up of projects, all now rush ordered by my random departure, I’m heeding my mother’s advice more and more. There are people who put in their two weeks and basically glide through the next 10 work days and walks off. It’s the work equivalent of pedaling your bike, then just stopping and enjoy the smoothness of the bike until you have to pedal again.

I get so anxious about doing nothing that I figure I might as well work even harder than normal.

At my last job, I basically worked on the yearbook endlessly, trying to finish as much of this 150 page book months early not to screw over my work family.

that was not nearly as stressful as my current two week “glide”.

This week is mental health awareness week. I’ve openly admitted for about three years now that I struggle with my mental health in the form of generalized anxiety disorder and diagnosed clinical depression. When I got my own health insurance after undergrad, I decided to tackle my mental health in the form of medical and mental health professionals. Prior to that, I’ve always dismissed myself as and have been labeled by others as a really bad worrier who was extremely sensitive. As I got older, I found myself thinking that I couldn’t be “happy” as much as I tried. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that could go wrong in every aspect of my life and how it was all my fault.  I wasn’t just sleepy all the time, I could not will myself to get out of bed, do simple maintenance tasks or sleep. 

I kept this to myself out of fear of judgement from friends and family. I’ve always been an overachiever; and I figured that this would tarnish my reputation as the smart, perfect, sensible daughter that I was. I, like many of my other black friends, have been told things that prevented me from getting help. 

A 2008 study found that more than one-third of African-Americans actively seeking treatment believe talking about their anxiety would lead to them being called "crazy" by their peers, Williams noted at Psychology Today. A quarter of those surveyed reported that they didn't feel they could talk about their mental health with family members. 

There should be NO stigma around mental health for African Americans. Here’s the things you shouldn’t say to a black person struggling with their mental health. 

1. “That’s a white people problem”.

White people do own some things exclusively. Not using wash cloths. Under-seasoning their food. Yelling at their parents with little or no repercussions. 

However, mental illness is for everyone. Contrary to what we’ve been told our family members, friends, and strangers who happen to share shades of brown with us, black people do suffer from mental illness. Often. Some don’t even know what they are feeling needs medical attention. 

The American Psychiatric Association reports that as many as 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. will suffer from some kind of mental disorder each year. And, as the association notes, African-Americans are at least as likely to suffer from a mental health issue as their white counterparts.

2. Go to church.

I want to give black people the benefit of the doubt here because I think this was the solution/response due to mental health care not being easily affordable or accessible for our community.

But that’s a lie. Since we’ve been in cotton fields, Jesus has been our go to for all things help. Jesus is cool. I would personally argue he’s amazing. But I need someone with office hours. Jesus is on the mainline but I cannot call him on his cell phone and ask if he can pencil me in. 

In this week’s When Keeping It Racist Goes Wrong, 14-year-old Ahmed Mohammed was arrested for being smarter than I ever was at 14 (and arguably at 25) and making a clock from scratch. 

Here’s the synopsis via Mic:

The tech savant built the timepiece in an attempt to impress his teachers. Its resemblance to an old-fashion movie time bomb, however, prompted response from law enforcement after an English teacher discovered the device.

When Mohamed first met with police officers in the principal's office of MacArthur High School, he reportedly became acutely aware of his race. Upon seeing him, an officer he had never met remarked, "Yup. That's who I thought it was."

"But because his name is Mohamed and because of Sept. 11, I think my son got mistreated," Ahmed's father, Mohamed Elhassan Mohamed, told the Dallas Morning News.

I’m known amongst my friend as the #winedrunkauntie. I have an appreciation for wine ever since my body stopped allowing me to process bottom shelf liquor like a college freshman. Wine is a classy buzz within my grad school budget. However, a lot of people don’t see wine as versatile or tasty. Here are TWENTY FIVE, yes 25 wine cocktails- from white to red, skinny, to sugary, hot wine drinks to freezing wine popsicles and 2 ingredient cocktails to a multiple ingredient sangria guaranteed to get the tea spilling in your sister circle. (and yes, there is even wine mixed with coke in the mix).

Not all heroes wear capes. You can thank me later.

Which one(s) are you going to try? 

1. Skinny White Wine Spritzer

Via WearyChef

2. Moscato Bee's Knees Wine Cocktail

Via The Kitchen is My Playground

The first installment of my #livelocal visits a bakery. 

      Brownie batter with Oreo cupcakes....where else can you get that?

I’ve often said the cupcake fad should have died YEARS ago because you can keep re-inventing the wheel and I’ve literally seen single cupcakes priced at $8.

However, while bored at work and on my phone, I came across the new Cupcake Kitchen, located at 4211 Caroline, at the crossroads of midtown and third ward. 

The shop opened July 4th, after an official year (just a YEAR) in business and is producing such sweets as red velvet chicken and waffle cupcakes and Peach Cobbler topped with caramelized pecans to bring a fresh approach to sweet treats in the city.

For my review I tried a few things with the help of my boyfriend and grandparents over the course of three days: Peach Cobbler, Banana Pudding, Cake in a cup (Strawberry Shortcake), a Red Velvet Chicken and Waffles cupcake, A Banana Pudding Cupcake, and Pecan Pie Cookies. 

Cupcake Kitchen claims they are known for their peach cobbler and banana pudding. 

           There’s no end to the variety of desserts they have in the store.

Their banana pudding was good, and definitely worth the price. I’m a stickler for homemade desserts and outside of the packaging, you could have guessed it was made at your auntie’s house.

Now the peach cobbler with caramelized pecans....FAM.

                                                        FAM.

Out of all of the things I sampled, this was by far the BEST thing on the list. This would be what I would recommend to friends and talk about. The crust was great, flaky and the filling wasn’t too sweet, and the peaches were juicy. And the caramelized pecans definitely sent the flavor over the top. Brandon thought it was good, but not as juicy as he typically likes. Whatever, I would fight someone over the last piece of that cobbler. And on certain days, they have a peach cobbler cupcake. 

I will say I returned two days later to get some more peach cobbler because I couldn’t get the original off my mind (and I happen to work down the street) and was disappointed that the peach cobbler didn’t have the pecans on it when I went in. Still good, but not the same.

For those who don’t want anything too sweet or big, the pecan pie cookie is the way to go. You get three large cookies for just $5 and they are packed with flavor and laced with delicious pecan filling on top of the moist cookie.

The strawberry shortcake in a cup was great...I don’t even like icing or whipped cream and it was delicious on top.

Now I’m sure you’re all wondering what the hell the red velvet chicken and waffles cupcake tasted like...or even looked like. Peep this beauty:

                       I might as well just say “Damn my diet” right here.

Keep in mind, neither my boyfriend or I care for red velvet cake. In fact, I hate it. So, I passed the responsibility of eating this beauty to Brandon. He enjoyed it. I will say, I had a piece of the chicken at the top it was good. This cupcake wins because I haven’t seen it done this well, ever.

There are two things that make this business a hit for me: the location is perfect for almost anyone. Even for those of us who live in the suburbs, its centrally located by plenty of freeways so you can grab something on the way home.

Two: The price. For the quality, originality and presentation, you would expect to pay in the ballpark of $4-6 per cupcake for Cupcake Kitchen’s sweets. But if you catch them on Tuesdays and Saturdays, they are practically letting them go for $2 a piece! TWO DOLLARS. EIGHT QUARTERS.

In addition to their on-the-go sweets, they do custom dessert orders and soon, they will have a class for cake-entrepreneurs on how to create their signature glittered up glam pieces. Check out some below:

If my words and the pictures here don’t move you to make a stop by, check out their instagram (but not if you’re dieting) for what’s on the menu and their hours.