j’s page💛

on my first date with happiness, i decided i had enough of oversized black tshirts and loose black jeans so i threw on a yellow sundress, which i found after passing through my closet like a raging hurricane; as always, i was running late. on my first date with happiness, i decided i was going to let her fall in love with my natural self so i put down my concealer, mascara, lipstick and eyeliner. and i ornament myself with rings and necklaces, a spray of flowery, sweet perfume. on my first date with happiness, i decided i was going to let her in so i told her my everything, i was afraid, of course but i knew i would have to, at least, give her a chance to get to know me, i would have to give my tired self a chance to stop being a fucking liar. on my first date with happiness, i said: “hey, my name is sadness. but i want to learn to be happy again.” on my first date with happiness, i let a little bit of life reach my insides after a whole long time of having myself against myself.