Talk superheroes to me

i’m like if a saint was also a faggot

being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot

the worst part about washing dishes is having to jack off all the silverware

shout to all of my friends who supported and encouraged me to make this post despite my reservations ♥️

I really want this bottle in my bathroom. I’d place it next to matching decorative soaps and towels as if it seems like it fits, but I’ll actually fill the thing up with ketchup. So when I have guests over and they decide to use the bathroom, they will see this bottle and have a moment of cognitive dissonance, “This [Soap Bottle] in the [Bathroom] is labelled [Ketchup], but surely it must dispense [Soap] instead of [Ketchup] despite the label saying [Ketchup] right?” and then let them have a moment of realization followed by abject horror as they pump viscous ketchup all over their hands instead of soap

hi sorry for ghosting you im being tormented by psychic horrors beyond your wildest comprehensions

y’all still beat your meat? lol

what do u beat

evildoers

ily = i love you ilysm = i love you so much ywmbaily = you were brother anakin i loved you

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

please see a gynecologist

tumblr will be like "here's a blog in your orbit" and it's the most insufferable bitch you've ever seen

This isn't real. You can't just put fake stuff on the internet. I am so upset, because I want this to be real so bad

It can be real if you believe and/or help me break into the louvre