Jeremy Gunetilleke

“I was a child, still playing with toys, and you were getting me to suck your d***!”

I always knew when I included these lines in the film that they would be difficult to hear, and I am sorry if they triggered anybody or made people feel uncomfortable but it was very important that they were included. 

 When we hear the term ‘child sexual abuse’ we rarely think about what it actually is. The reality of it makes us feel so uncomfortable that we let it pass us by. I hope these lines, as terrible as they are, gave people no option but to think for a quick moment about the horrific nature of what is going on around us today.

Maybe one day we will face up to this and realise that this is also a pandemic, and it is thriving behind closed doors. 

See link for film: https://youtu.be/k-QGy1W4J4E 

I am currently raising awareness for child sexual abuse by sharing my story. 

I plan to speak openly about what I have going on and how I feel about it in order to help break down the stigma and the silence that is allowing it to thrive. 

More of my work is available on the following platforms, 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremygune/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeremygune/ 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jeremygune 

Before I knocked on my abusers door I pressed voice record on my phone and put it in my pocket. I thought it would be best that I recorded the whole thing as I really didn’t know how he was going to react when he saw me.

A lot of people have asked me in the past, if I was to ever see him again would I be able to restrain myself, and I always replied by saying that I would be extremely surprised if I didn’t. I don’t feel any need to inflict pain on him, speaking out about what he did and putting it in his face feels just as satisfying for me.

The police seized my phone when they arrested me so I never got the chance to listen back to the recording, but I have been told that it will be used as evidence in the court case that is coming up for it all. I am not sure if they will play it in full or just bring a summary of it, but regardless it will paint a good picture of how the confrontation went. It will show him panicking shouting ‘go away, go away’ whilst I got in his face and asked him questions like, 

“What was it about my 8 year old body that was turning you on so much?”

See link below for full story,

'I Knocked On My Abusers Door' - Short Film

After a failed prosecution attempt against my abuser last year and countless unanswered messages asking him to meet me, I decided to find out where he lives and pay him a visit.

Here is a short film to explain what happened on that day.

Instagram: @jeremygune

Facebook: Jeremy Gunetilleke

A one minute preview from the new film ‘I Knocked On My Abusers Door’ which will be released this Sunday 12th April!

Directed by Florian Brioude @florianbrioude

#endthesilence #sharingourstories #childsexualabuse #noshame #letstalkaboutit

A one minute preview from the new film ‘I Knocked On My Abusers Door’ which will be released this Sunday 12th April!

Directed by Florian Brioude @florianbrioude

#endthesilence #sharingourstories #childsexualabuse #noshame #letstalkaboutit

Thank you to everyone for the support!!

Filming day for the new short film...

‘I Knocked On My Abusers Door’

We wanted to replicate what actually happened when I knocked on his door and to piece the story together so that the viewer can really feel the emotions of what it was like for me to do this.

Florian Brioude @florianbroiude did an amazing job and I cannot wait to release it.

It will be out soon.

Photo credit: Mikenzie Brioude @kenzie_lin

Something significant happened recently; I managed to find out where my abuser lives and I went and knocked on his door. 

I now want to turn what happened into a short film and I have teamed up with @florianbroude to do this. 

Florian is a talented videographer who I met at the start of this year. He has an incredible passion for everything he creates, he works hard and I literally couldn’t have asked for a better person to help tell this story. 

I was sexually abused when I was around 8 years old, by a male babysitter who was looking after me while my parents were at work.

I don’t remember exactly how long the abuse went on for but I remember being very familiar with our routines, and knowing exactly what he liked, so I am guessing that it went on for a long period of time. 

He would give me so much praise for doing these things, that I remember I started approaching him for it because I wanted more of this reward. He had turned me into something that a child should never be. 

When I was 24 years old, the memories of this abuse started appearing stronger than ever before. I spent the next 3 years trying to get them out of my head, but they wouldn’t leave me alone. On a drunken night, I told a close friend about my childhood trauma. It took me by surprise because I didn’t plan to, it just came out. I felt an overwhelming sense of achievement and relief once I had done this, it made me feel strong!

Over the next 6 years, I told another 5 people and I began to realize that making it through abuse is something to feel proud of. I gained more confidence as time went on, and this led me to begin telling my story publicly at poetry and spoken word open mic events in London. Alongside this, I am now creating content online to explain everything from my recent failed prosecution attempt against this man, to how I feel about the abuse now that I am an adult. I am using different techniques such as film, photography and illustration in an attempt to make things as engaging as possible to help raise awareness and break down stigmas. If you are interested in my work please see @jeremygune on instagram and facebook.com/jeremygune on Facebook.

(To share your story of abuse or to update is on the after effects of you sharing, message me or email: [email protected])

When I got home I began to reflect on everything that had happened that day. I thought about how scared and frightened I had become with the idea of seeing him again. ⁣

Not finding him at the hospitals felt terrible but I was not going to accept this as an end to my search. The other option that I had was to go through his wife. I knew where she worked and although I didn’t want to drag her back into this I felt like I had no choice. ⁣

I went from department to department asking for him. I thought it would be as simple as searching the staff register, but the receptionist wanted to see something official like an appointment or a hospital letter. It was not enough to only have his name, things were not going to plan.

I left that hospital and drove to the next one on my list. This time I went prepared with a story; he was my long lost brother and I had been searching for him for 20 years. I hoped that this would persuade the staff to be more forthcoming, but the rules and regulations kept getting in my way.

So I drove to yet another hospital, but the outcome was the same. Every rejection felt like a punch to the stomach and I was slowly being defeated. I had to accept that I was not going to find him this way.

⁣After finding his wife’s Facebook profile I then googled her name which brought up her workplace, so I made the assumption that he could also be working in that area. I knew this was a long shot but I just needed to work with what I have got and make a move. With the chance that he was still a nurse, I made a list of the hospitals in that area and drove to the first one. ⁣

With the police investigation called off due to a lack of evidence, I began looking for him myself. I will not just accept what happened and forget about it. I was an innocent child who was used to satisfy someone else's fantasies and I refuse to stand for it.⁣

I made a video to express how I feel about the failed prosecution attempt against my abuser.

For full video: https://youtu.be/CIYKA1l9Ces

I arranged a meeting with the Child Abuse Investigation Team, that dealt with my case, to better understand why my case couldn’t be taken to court.

For something to be taken to court it must have a strong chance of success. There must be enough evidence to prove that the crime has been committed beyond any reasonable doubt.

The type of evidence that strengthens a case like this are things like digital evidence, forensic evidence, multiple people coming forward etc. What happened to me was in the early 90’s, so I have none of this. What I do have, boils down to my word against his, which is not enough.

I do wonder though, if it had gone to court, would he have been able to hold his nerve in front of everyone and keep his story straight? I mean with his wife and daughters watching, and me looking him dead straight in the eye. Maybe he would have cracked under the pressure.

For the moment, we will not know the answer to this and that doesn’t sit right with me. But unfortunately there is not enough money in the system to take every case to court, so for now, this is where we are at.

All statements collected during the investigation will be kept on file, so if anybody else comes forward in the future then they will be used. All is not lost.

The aim of reporting him to the police was to reduce the chances of him doing this to more children. Now that hasn’t worked, the chances are still there.

So, what now?

If I can find him, I can attempt a conversation with him. To explain how important it is that he does not do this again. Of course, I am fully expecting him to blank me, but at least this will be a start. This has to be a better option than doing nothing.