Hiatus Notice - and stuff
As some of you might have noticed I haven’t been active on here, or like anywhere actually, for awhile. Nan has, as always, been running our Twitter account so it’s only active because she is. I feel a bit like I’ve been more or less chased out of my own fandom lately and have decided I need some time off. I’ve lost the enjoyment for writing again, and I’m not going back to how it was before IBFY where I hated writing, so yeah, I’m gonna protect myself. This means that I won’t be writing any fanfic in February.
Let repeat it for those only skimming this.
I’M NOT WRITING ANY FANFIC IN FEBRUARY. NONE! NONE AT ALL!
Now, some might argue that I haven’t written anything in January either, and no. I’ve written a lot less than I usually do, but 1) my life is a mess and I have a depression to entertain, and 2) people keep being mean to me and my fic and that makes me sad. Pls stop.
So what does all this mean…well here is a quick FAQ to what I think is most important.
“But does that mean you won’t update Seasons seasonally anymore?”
Yes, it does. But to be fair I’ve been struggling so much with that fic lately that I wouldn’t have finished the winter chapter in time either. Like it’s twice the lenght of the other chapters at least and all I got from the seasonally update plans was complaints. So now, I’ll update when I feel like it. And right now I don’t.
“Are you giving up fic writing?”
No. I wouldn’t. I don’t like unfinished projects and I love the IBFY universe far too much to ever abandon it. I know some people dislike my choice to continue the story, but i like where we’re going and I want to see it finished. I honestly just need a break because people have made me fell more and more out of place in my own fandom. Both in regards to random criticism (Like, peeps, I do look in the I Bloomed for You tag on twitter. How could You even think I wouldn’t????) and to the way people are constantly trying to geographically divide the fandom, making some part “better” because BTS has gained a lot of attention in their area of the world. No, being a European fan still suck. Even more if you’re from insignificant little places like I am. No one ever want to play here. Ever. (Yes I’m salty because yet another group I like comes no where near Scandinavia on their “European and UK tour”)
Affinity gets a chapter as soon as I’m done with February. I can’t give an exact date, but right now it’s the only fun fic i have to write. Also I miss the nonsense, I really do. And we’re just at the good part so I can’t wait to hear what people think of the next development…. also I’m so sorry I never got to reply to you. I will get to it soon. Like pls kick me if i don’t because you’re all much nicer in the comment section of Affinity than people are on twitter about seasons or in Seasons’ comment section.
“You should just ignore the hate and focus on the love”
I really wish it was that easy. But it isn’t. Having your hard work being called a “fuck up”, having people repeatedly bashing me for the way I portray Taehyung, having some random person telling people not to read my fic because I’m a “Tae hater”, being told I’m overrated, seeing whole treads of people hating on my hard work, having the lengthen of my fic criticized, having the spelling mistakes pointed out over and over again even after repeatedly telling that I’m dyslexic and that i struggle with it and being asked “when are you updating again” as soon as I’ve posted a chapter gets tiring. Like imagine working you ass off and then you get all that shit…..
Like would all of you seriously just continue?
I do love all the praise i get. I read every word and keep them wrapped up in a special part of my heart and if it hadn’t been for all the lovely people who read my fic and comment I wouldn’t be here today, I would have left the fandom for good ages ago. But I just feel we need to have this discussion. If I don’t tell people that negative words hurts me, then it’s goes ignored. Like we’re at a point where people throw shit at everyone, even young girls and it’s honestly only the age of a person that will make people get involved and stop the hate being thrown around. Like for fuck’s sake, Nan was barely 16 when we started this. A lot of people threw shit at a sixteen year old because she wrote a fic together with her older sister. Is that okay? I don’t think a lot of you would think it is. But if you’re “old” like me then it’s free game. I can take it after all.
Well, news flash; I can’t.
People treat fan artist like shit. And to be honest fanfic writer are the bottom of the food chain, and trust me we get to feel it. Like jesus fucking christ do we get to feel it. I get no money for any of this, none. I can’t even make a Ko-Fi account because I feel like it would be begging for money and since I don’t make graphics or gifs or art, No one will pay for what i do. They demand more and demand I do it quick, but give a fanfic writer money? HA! And now, before someone get their panties in a twist; I’m not trying to lessen other fan creators work. I’m just asking that you value the hours I spent writing as much as you value the hours another fan creator draws/edit/gif/whatever. It’s that simple. Give me the same credit you give them and I’ll happily continue to ruin your life with angsty fanfics for free.
I’m writing all this because it’s a problem people don’t wanna talk about. And to be honest, If people were nice to me I wouldn’t have to take a break. And Im not even that hate. Hell, some people get way more shit than I do.
“But, dude, a published author gets way more hate. Why you making a big deal out of this?”
I love writing for others. I wanna be an author. I love writing. And yes, I will get more hate when I get published, but 1) you’d have (hopefully) payed for the book and that entitles you to complain and 2) I won’t be nearly as exposed to it as I am now. Like, again, I can’t go on twitter because I might see shit. It’s annoying.
“But, dude, People are entitled to their opinions”
Yes, yes they are. All Im asking is that if they can’t come with something useful to say like pointing out confusing parts or something like it they keep quiet or don’t mention the fic. It’s not hard - I do it all the time.
The latest Hype train, I didn’t mention it by name most of my critique was in the tag because this poor person didn’t need to know I don’t like texts fics. I’ve commented on how I dislike like 90% of the BTS fics with most kudos several times, but never hated on a particular fic. Hell, someone plagiarized me (I don’t care what she says or how much she’ll threaten to report me, up till chapter 8 it was half my fic rewritten and mixed with other big fics. Like Nan found a line that was almost complete from another fic. Like you don’t change explanation three times unless you’re doing something shady.) and I didn’t once mention her name, her fic or anything. You’ll have to go look for it, and look hard to even find it. And if I can do that to someone who pissed me off to the extend she did, well so can others.
NO AUTHOR NEEDS TO READ YOU THROWING UP ALL OVER THEIR HARD WORK. IF YOU WANNA COMPLAIN DO SO WITH YOUR IN PERSONAL CHATS, IN A WAY THAT DOESN’T MENTION THE AUTHOR OR THE WORK YOU’RE REFERRING TO OR FUCKING MAN UP AND BE FUCKING CONSTRUCTIVE, YOU DIPSHIT.
NO ONE NEEDS BASELESS HATE NO MATTE HOW MUCH THEY PISSED ON YOU AND YOUR PERSONAL TASTE OR YOUR BIAS!
FUCKING GROW SOME BALLS PEOPLE!
“Aren’t you being a bit harsh?”
Compared to how some people speak, no.
Like, I write my stories for my own enjoyment (yes, back at the no getting paid part) and you have the pleasure of reading it. I’m not writing for you, I’m writing to you.
minor detail i know, but pretty important so lets repeat that because like, I think this is were most of the Tae’s characterization issues really stems from.
I write to you, not for you.
Now, think I’m a bitch if you want. But I’m just really really tired.
Okay, that got long. Anyway, I’ll try to get more back into tumblr again, so I won’t be gone and like usual the inbox is open so feel free to talk to me. As soon as my break is done I’ll begin to post teasers and such. I do love all my readers, i love my followers and I love bangtan. I do.
oh, what is that, a last question?
“What you gonna if you’re not writing?”
I am gonna write…. Like dudes, I have a book to rewrite so you can all pay me for reading my work and finally hate on me without me being able to say anything. So yes, I’ll be busy. This will also be nice for all the people that wants to read my original writing…. Like you’ve been waiting for ages for me to edit it and now I’m rewriting it…..Well, sorry but you all made me a better author and I have to change everything.
Anyway, enough of this. I wanna go back to being my happy self again.
2087
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