jennifer whitner

“Congrats, that’s amazing… guess you’re living your dream, huh?” The words felt fake, no matter how much he meant them, how much he knew it meant to her, how proud he was of her, it still felt like false niceties. Like if he really cared, he could have done more, known more about her life. He didn’t know why he mentioned his Gramps. Maybe because it was weird for her to not know the biggest change in his life after everything that happened between them. “It’s okay,” it wasn’t, but he brushed off her apologies, returning his sad smile with one of his own, “he liked you a lot.” His Gramps loved everyone, easily, but people who made his grandson happy the most. Another long pause filled the distance between them, leaving Ed floundering for something to say, something to make what was suffocating silence easier. “We should hang out, properly, sometime soon if ya want…” a beat, before Ed opened his stupid mouth again, “I don’t really know how we drifted so far apart.”

jenwhitner:

The tone of his voice was so forced that Jennifer had to stop herself from wincing. “Yeah, I guess I am. I never expected my dream to involve quite so much laundry though,” she said, trying to crack a joke in the hopes that it would alleviate the awkwardness. She hadn’t ever expected the relationship between them to get this fragmented and just plain uncomfortable, but in the back of her mind she knew that it was her fault for that. She’d avoided her problems like she always did out of fear, instead of just talking it through with him. If she’d done that, then maybe they would have been able to come out of the break up at least being able to have a conversation rather than struggling to even make small talk. “he liked you a lot”. She looked down at the ground for a second, having to fight back the wave of emotion that sentence had elicited. “I liked him a lot too,” she mumbled, nodding her head a little as she composed herself before looking back up at Ed. Then came another pause, and just as she was about to make some sort of excuse to leave, Ed spoke again, catching her completely off guard with his words. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again when nothing came out. “I- Yeah. I mean,” she paused again, before letting out a small sigh. “I don’t really know how it happened either. I guess a lot of it was probably down to me, but- I don’t know.” Fiddling with the hem of her shirt for a moment, she finally gave a decisive nod. “We could grab a coffee, or something. I have the weekend off, if that works for you?” she suggested, biting down lightly on her bottom lip as she awaited his answer.

The second that Amelia heard a band that she wanted to stick around for, she sent Jennifer a text to meet her by the stage instead of in the botanical garden like they initially planned. She was standing in the middle of the crowd, swaying along to the song, when the dark-haired woman finally approached her. “I was worried that you wouldn’t make it in time to catch their set.”, she told the other woman before taking the cup that she was handed. “That’s not a very smart thing to do.” Which is why she raised the cup and gave it a whiff before taking a sip of what was inside. She did not figure out what exactly she was drinking right away but whatever it was, it was good. Whoever made it deserved a compliment. She turned her attention to Jennifer who she was happy to spend time with today. Their relationship came as a surprise to her when it turned to a friendship, so did the fact that the two of them got close enough that she now sees her as a younger sister. “I was planning to but I’m enjoying listening to this band too much. Maybe later. Any recommendations?”

jenwhitner:

Jennifer grinned as innocently as she could. “It may not be smart but at least it’s fun,” she replied, holding up one finger to punctuate her point. She’d already tried the drink herself on the walk over to Amelia, so she knew it wasn’t awful, but it still made her chuckle to watch as her friend smelt it before testing it out. She took a sip of her own, foot tapping along to the music. Grimacing a little, she shook her head. “To be honest with you there was only two that I would actually recommend. One was like, elderflower or something, which was alright. The other one was strawberry, and I mean, you can’t go wrong with strawberry, right?” she told her with a shrug and a laugh. “I’ll get a bottle of each before the stall closes and we can have a takeout and wine night soon,” she suggested, looking to her friend with a hopeful smile. 

Dimitri watched as she painted and gave her a nod when she spoke up again. “Well, that’s good.” He responded, keeping his eye on what she had been painting while he sipped his coffee. “Landscapes, really? You got any references for your work? Because I would love to see some more of your work. You’re very good, you know, do you have a website or maybe an Instagram account or something?” He asked, curiously. Dimitri had been looking for someone to create some artwork to hang up around his house and at his practice. Seeing the kind of work that she was doing, he seemed quite interested in seeing more of her work. “I’m Dimitri, by the way. I’m a cardiothoracic surgeon, and I own the private practice across the street. Petrescu & Associates, you might have walked past it in the past, maybe?” 

jenwhitner:

His barrage of questions was a little overwhelming, so she hesitated for a second as she let her brain catch up with it all and process before she answered him. “Yeah, I have an Instagram page. I don’t have a website because I don’t do this as my job. It’s just a hobby really, but I do the occasional commission piece if it’s only a small project and I have some time off,” she explained, pulling her phone out of her pocket and getting up the right app, before passing it over to him to scroll through. Her eyebrows raised a little as he revealed his job. “That must be a pretty interesting job,” she commented with a small smile. Tilting her head slightly, it took a moment for the recognition to kick in. “Oh, yeah, I know the one. It’s pretty new right?” she asked.

With no one to navigate through the festival with, Joshua found himself wandering around aimlessly, looking more and more lost by the second. The moment he thought he knew where he was going, he found himself somewhere completely different than what he had originally planned - which happened to be the floral wine section. While he didn’t mind a glass of wine or two here and there, he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about floral based wines. Hearing a voice speak up besides him, he gave her a small smile before replying. “It’s okay. You’re totally not in the way - I just don’t know where to really start with all of this.” He used his hand to indicate towards the samples, not quite sure which one would please his palate. “Are you sure? I’m a bit hesitant to try it…but I guess don’t knock it till you try it, right? Maybe I’ll end up likin’ it.”

jenwhitner:

Jennifer smiled at the man as he looked at her questioningly. He looked a little dubious, she thought. Looking over the samples for a moment, she finally picked one of them up and held it out to him. “This one is the most normal tasting. The others have pretty strong floral tastes, if that makes sense, but that one isn’t too bad,” she told him with a shrug, taking another of the samples herself that she hadn’t tried yet. Taking a small sip, she swilled it around her mouth for a moment before swallowing. A grimace quickly followed as she shook her head. “Don’t drink that one. That one tastes like cough syrup,” she quickly warned him, ignoring the look the stall owner gave her. She was nothing if not brutally honest. 

3: Do you regret anything?

“No, I don’t. I think that regretting things is a waste of time. I mean, the best thing to do is to learn from mistakes you make and use them to help you grow as a person.”

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

“I have. I had a big exam coming up and I stayed up to cram for it. Bad idea, in hindsight considering I almost fell asleep on the way to the exam and then drank so much coffee I ended up needing to go to the restroom halfway through it.”

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

“Nope. I don’t give people second chances, unless they’ve really changed which is rare.”

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

“I read a few chapters of a book. I try not to use my phone or anything before I go to sleep otherwise I end up just being awake longer.”

58: Favourite weather?

“I like the rain. I think it’s really peaceful to be able to sit inside on a rainy day with a hot drink and just paint.”

Rowan wasn’t known for being neat and organized. His studio apartment was reflective of the way his brain worked, which was oftentimes pretty chaotic. There were the usual plants and stacks of books all over the counters, coffee table, and then in different places around the floor. One plant had been placed next to the ladder on the far end of the apartment, the vines wrapping around the ladder and climbing almost all the way up to where the thin mattress that he slept on lived. Then there were scissors and glue and colorful scraps of construction paper and googly eyes and popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners stretched from one end of his small kitchen table to the other. It was obvious he’d been going through his jars of dried herbs recently, as they were messily set down on his kitchen counters along with bowls of three different types of salt and several types of crystals haphazardly strewn between jars and bowls. There was a broken polaroid camera on his coffee table, along with a box of small tools he’d been using to fix the camera. There was a scrapbook lying open on a beanbag chair, assorted photos of people and nature lined up in weird, categorized groups on the floor next to it. His altar was neat enough, set up today with candles and offering bowl and some fresher-looking flowers, a warm and spicy incense burning. 

It wasn’t that he would’ve been able to clean the place even with a little bit of warning, but he felt sort of guilty when his sister walked right into his chaos. He ran a hand through his messy hair and watched her step immediately into the row of cabinets and stove that stopped with a refrigerator, just to the right of his doorway. It was a tiny place, but he’d never thought he needed much space. “I’m good,” he replied, watching her unpack things in the kitchen, moving beside her to shove some jars and misshapen crayons into one corner of a counter so she had some more space to work with. Then he walked around the small island behind her and took a seat on the only stool not currently housing a couple of folded towels (and two that weren’t folded yet, just draped over the folded two). He closed the journal that lay open on the surface in front of him, biting the inside of his cheek and pushing that aside, along with the pens of every color that lay around it. “It’s okay. You’ve got a cool job, working with the animals and stuff.”

jenwhitner:

While Jennifer wasn’t surprised at the mess that was Rowan’s apartment, she still refrained from passing any comments on it, being able to sense his embarrassment instantaneously. Instead she just set out two plates and began opening cartons of food. She let out a soft laugh, and nodded. “You’re right, it is a cool job,” she agreed, a grin on her face as she looked at him. “I have a few days off coming up. We should do something, go for lunch or grab a coffee,” she suggested, eyebrows lifting ever so slightly, questioning. As she stepped to the side to grab some forks from a drawer, she casually grabbed the couple of utensils that had been left on the counter and put them in the sink, ready to wash up later. She’d always felt the need to look after Rowan, and that hadn’t ever changed or abated over the years. Watching him slowly get older and finally start to grow into his own person had been great, and she was glad he was finally more comfortable with himself, but his almost chaotic way of living had never changed. But, she noted, his altar was the neatest part of the entire apartment, and it didn’t surprise her one bit. “How’s work? Any gossip?” she asked him, returning to his side and reaching out to flatten a piece of his hair that was sticking up. She continued to subtly organise little bits in the kitchen that were in disarray as she let Rowan dish out whatever bits of the food he wanted before she got her own, waiting for his answer.

While he was sure he should he went off and explored more of the festival, it was the live music where James had been spending most of his time. Only having really left the spot long enough to go and grab a bottle of water. But he watched as the band played, his eyes bright, the fingers of his free hand lightly tapping against his thigh as he stood there. There was no denying his passion and love for music, it was something he could get absolutely lost in, which was what he was currently doing. So much so that he hardly noticed right away as someone stumbled into him, taking his brain several seconds to realized what had happened. He pulled himself from the music, looking over at the girl, flashing her a smile instantly. “It’s okay.” James reassured her quickly. “No, no I’m fine, all good.” He laughed softly, shaking his head some. “What about you, are you alright though?”

jenwhitner:

Jennifer let out the breath she didn’t even realise she’d been holding as the man reassured her that he was alright. She returned his smile, dipping her head slightly in her embarrassment at having just walked straight into him, albeit unintentionally. “Good, that’s good,” she said with a quiet laugh, dipping her head slightly to hide her sheepish smile. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” she quickly responded, looking back up and waving her free hand in a dismissive gesture. “I was avoiding an elbow to the face, which I was successful at, but I just didn’t look where I was going, so-” she trailed off, shrugging her shoulders lightly. Hesitating for a moment, she looked over at the band, jerking her chin in the direction of the stage. “They’re pretty good, huh?” she said, not sure if making conversation was the appropriate thing to do after accidentally barging into someone or not, but giving it a go anyway. 

​Pushing her way through the crowd, Jennifer looked down at her phone to double check the text she had received from Amelia, telling her where to meet. It took her a few minutes to find her friend in the horde of people that were gathered around to watch the band, but eventually she spotted her. “Hey!” she said over the noise, holding out a plastic cup for Amelia. Somehow she hadn’t spilt anything, which she was pretty proud of. “Don’t ask me what it is, because honestly I’m not sure. I just asked for a surprise,” she said as she wiggled the cup gently, grinning at her. Amelia was like a big sister to Jennifer, someone she could always count on to be there for her and listen to her rants when she needed to get anything off her chest. So, when Amelia had said she would be at the festival too, she was thrilled to be able to spend some quality time with her, given their usually clashing schedules. “Did you go to the wine tasting thing earlier? Some of the flavours they had were like... so weird. I couldn’t figure out what most of them even were. Kind of nice though, actually.”

Meandering through the wine tasting stalls, Jennifer was enjoying the festival, soaking in all the hustle and bustle going on around her. In her own little world, she stepped up to one stall and took a sample, drinking it slowly to savour the taste. She couldn’t identify what it was, but she knew it was pleasant, and light. Perfect for a warm day. Glancing to the side, she saw another woman stood with a similar expression on her face - that slight confusion mixed with approval. “I think it’s juniper, but honestly I’m not so sure. Don’t quote me on that,” she said to her, a small smirk at the corner of her mouth as she swilled the last drop around in the cup before throwing it back. She’d had a long morning at work, and this was exactly what she needed. A few drinks and some live music. All that was missing was a bit of company, so as much as she struggled, she was hoping to be able to befriend someone that she could enjoy the festivities with.

Bobbing her head along to the music, Jennifer made her way through the crowd in front of the stage. She’d always enjoyed live music, so this was one of the parts of the festival she wasn’t going to miss out on. A plastic cup was in her hand, and she held it close in front of her to avoid having it knocked from her grip. But, as one person swung their arm out, she had to dodge them, and ended up colliding with someone else instead. A small squeak escaped her mouth at the surprise, and she quickly looked down, letting out a sigh of relief as she saw that her drink had stayed firmly in its cup and not all down her front. Then, her brain caught up and she looked to the person she’d just bumped into. “I’m so sorry,” she said quickly, eyeing up the man who she was now looking at. “I didn’t hurt you, right?” she asked him, a small frown on her face as she looked him up and down for any sign of pain or any dropped items. 

​Jennifer had managed to finish work early that day, ready for the yearly festival. She was tired, but after getting herself cleaned up she’d headed straight out, wanting to make the most of it. It was one of her favourite events in Chicago, and she made sure to take a morning shift so she wouldn’t have to miss out on the fun. As she weaved her way through the stalls, she stopped at one of the wine stalls. Picking up one of the small cups, she had a sip and savoured the taste. Elderflower. She finished off the last of it, and then surveyed the bottles arranged behind the owner of the stall who was busy talking to someone else. While she did, she felt someone stood behind her. Glancing quickly over her shoulder, she came face to face with a man, and she sidestepped out of his way. “Sorry, I’m completely blocking the samples,” she said with a quiet laugh. As the man moved to pick up the sample, she couldn’t help but comment. “It’s nice.” Lifting her own empty cup to signal what she was referring to. “Quite sweet, but not too much.”

Why wouldn’t she look at him? It seemed everything in her vicinity was more interesting than him, that she couldn’t even bare to look Edgar in his eyes. Did the hurt run that deep? There was once a time when he and Jen had been inseparable, but now here they were, miles of distance between them. “That’s great!” He tried to sound cheery, the clip of awkward still in his voice, making everything sound uncomfortably fake, “you still doin’ that vet thing? You must’ve graduated by now, right?” if Jen couldn’t look a him, Ed would try his damned best to be warm towards her, to bridge the divide, “yeah, I’ve been really good actually, uh, doing gigs, running my gramps’ store…” false-cheeriness turned into something sadder as he remembered his grandfather, who Edgar had dropped out of college to work for, “he passed away just over a year ago… I dunno if you heard.”

jenwhitner:

Jennifer couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow slightly at Edgar’s suddenly cheery tone of voice. She knew him well enough to know that it was forced, and that he was simply trying his best to make it less awkward, but she just couldn’t forget what had happened between them. As hard as she’d tried, the memories still lingered, and the hurt was still there for her. Nodding, she lifted her head slightly, but still couldn’t look him in the eyes. “Yeah, I graduated pretty recently. I’m working in an animal clinic not far from here,” she said, gesturing down at her fur covered work clothes. Then, his next statement caught her off guard, and she finally made eye contact. “I- No, I hadn’t heard. I’m sorry,” she said slowly, her voice full of sincerity as she gave him a sad smile. “He was a sweet man,” she added quietly. She wasn’t sure how this news had escaped her, but then again, she’d done her best to avoid him and anything to do with him, really. Part of her wanted to reach out and hug him, but she pushed her hands into her pockets instead. “I’m sorry,” she said again, knowing how it felt to lose someone so close to you.

Dimitri watched as she pushed the chair opposite her out from under the table, and offered her a small smile. Taking a seat, he watched as she painted and nodded. “It is quiet in here.” He agreed with her statement. The coffee shop was always quiet and relaxing, which was one of the reasons why the surgeon spent his mornings before work there. He liked the quiet every now and then. “Yeah, I noticed. The staff don’t seem to mind that you’re being here. They must really like you.” He joked, chuckling softly. When she motioned towards the man who had inspired her current work in profess, the surgeon tilted his head slightly. “Do you always tend to paint portraits of strangers?” He asked, curiously. Looking back at the painting in front of him, Dimitri could not deny that she was a good artist. But there was something about her that made him intrigued. Why sit quietly in a coffee shop and paint strangers when you could use your talent for something more? 

jenwhitner:

Jennifer continued to paint as Dimitri sat down in the chair, looking up as he spoke. She gave him a small smile of amusement, throwing a quick glance over her shoulder to the barista who had their back turned, cleaning the coffee machine. “I’ve been coming here for a long time, so after they knew me by name, I asked them if they’d be okay with it. Plus I clean up after myself so it’s not any hassle for them on that front,” she told him, shrugging. She added in a few more details before setting her brush down to let them dry, having a sip of her drink as Dimitri posed his question. “Not always. I do a lot of landscape paintings too. This is just a fun way to kill some time, really. Hence the small scale,” she replied, looking thoughtfully at him before asking a question of her own. “What is it that you do?” 

Jennifer knocked three times, as loud as she could, on the door to Rowan’s abode. She’d been so busy with work that she hadn’t had a chance to catch up with her foster sibling for a little over two weeks now, only managing to text and call him a few times. So, after she’d finished her shift and discovered that she wasn’t actually all that worn out seeing as it had been a pretty relaxed day, Jennifer had picked up some takeout food and headed straight to Rowan’s. As usual, she hadn’t actually bothered to text him and ask if he was free, or if he was even at his place, but she hoped he was, otherwise she had a lot of food to try and get through herself. The pair were close, bonding over their silence when they had first come into each other’s lives. Rowan hadn’t spoken, and Jennifer couldn’t speak, knowing barely any English upon her arrival into the Whitner household. But, the two had sat together, Rowan always grabbing little handfuls of her sleeves or holding on to her wrist whenever they were in close proximity to each other. At first, it had confused her, but she’d grown used to it and even found comfort in their companionship, helping her to settle into her new life. 

After knocking a few more times, the door finally swung open, and she grinned at Rowan as she held up the bag of food. “I brought dinner,” she announced, reaching out to give his shoulder a gentle squeeze before passing him, heading straight for the kitchen. As she began to unpack the cartons of food, she looked over her shoulder at him. “How are you? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to hang out any sooner. Work has been hectic the past couple of weeks, and I’ve been working overtime almost every night,” she explained, a small sigh escaping her lips. She loved her job, but it was draining sometimes. Spending some time with Rowan was exactly what she needed to help her unwind, ready for a weekend off.

Ed had a lot of regrets in his life. The way he went about things, the adventures he never tried, the people he hurt with his indecision along the way. But one of the biggest regrets he had was the way he handled his decision to drop out of university, and the subsequent demise of his relationship with Jen. In all his confusion, and quest to find himself, Edgar had selfishly never stopped to think about what she felt about the whole thing. It was only recently, following the collapse of yet another relationship that ended with Edgar shutting them out that he’d begun to realise he had a bad habit of hurting people.

Walking home from the supermarket, bag of groceries in his hand, headphones playing loud enough to drown out the world, Edgar had been so enrapt in the music and his thoughts that he didn’t notice the body he was walking into. “Oh shit, sorry,” his apology was immediate and out of habit as he pulled the headphones off, only looking at her once he’d stepped back a bit. Shit. “Jen…” hi yo, i’ve got plenty of time, the words of the Talking Heads played through his headphones as they stared at each other, the soundtrack to their awkward reunion, ‘shit, uh, sorry… it’s been a while,” Ed scrambled to find his phone, to shut off the low music, to give him something to do with his hands, “how are you?”

jenwhitner:

Jennifer kept her gaze locked on her feet, as if it was the most interesting sight she’d ever seen. She’d spent so long managing to avoid this reunion, always staying away from anywhere that Edgar might be, but she was so exhausted from her day that she hadn’t even thought about it. Typical. Finally, as he spoke, she wrenched her eyes from the floor and looked at him. It felt like a punch in the stomach, seeing his face again after such a long time. She wasn’t sure if that was just the pain from the break up or lingering feelings, but she pushed that train of thought away immediately. Watching as he fumbled for his phone, she cleared her throat lightly. “I uh- yeah. I’m good,” she said with a small nod, trying to act as nonchalant as possible, but knowing that her face was betraying her calm and collected tone of voice. “How about you?” she asked, shuffling on her feet and picking at a loose thread on her sleeve, not wanting to look him in the eyes. 

Dimitri was a frequent customer at the coffee shopm and he had often noticed the other painting there He had been curious as to why she had found that particular coffee shop to be the place where she spent her hours painting, but he hadn’t found the courage to do that until now. When he had first approached her, he had half expected for her to shoo him away from having interrupted her, but instead he found himself chuckling at her words and stepping away so that he wasn’t blocking the light anymore. “What are you working on?” The surgeon asked, curiously, offering her a rather polite smile. “I think I’ve seen you here a few times. Do you always come here to paint?” 

jenwhitner:

Tilting her head slightly, Jennifer observed the man. After a few moments, a sense of recognition hit her. She’d seen him in here quite often, but being so engrossed in her paintings, had never actually paid all that much attention, so it wasn’t surprising that she hadn’t recognised him straight away. Shuffling in her seat, she uncrossed her legs and then stretched one out, pushing the chair opposite her out from under the table a little, a silent invitation for him to sit down if he wanted to. “It’s quiet in here, and there’s good lighting,” she said, dropping her paintbrush into the glass of water beside her and brushing off her hands on her paint splattered trousers. “Plus, the staff know who I am and don’t mind me making a bit of a mess in their store,” she added, a hint of amusement on her face. She then span the canvas around to face the man, showcasing the almost completed portrait of the elderly man across from her. “It’s nothing too exciting. I just like to do small paintings every day. That guy was the lucky subject that caught my eye,” she said, dipping her head in the man’s vague direction. 

Walking along the street after work, Jennifer was busy brushing the fur off her clothes and didn’t notice the person heading out of a building just in front of her. The shift had been a particularly long one that day, around 10 hours, due to one particular cat needing a lot of care before she felt that the animal was going to be okay through the night, so she was exhausted and barely processing her surroundings. She just wanted to get home, have some food and then sleep before having to get up early again the next morning. So as she trudged onwards, she walked straight into the other body that appeared in her path. With a small ‘oof’ she steadied herself, looking up as she quickly took a step backwards. Her eyes grew wide as she recognised the face that was now looking down at her. Edgar. 

The two had dated during college, and at the start it had been perfect. They were a good pair and she cared deeply about him, but after a while the two began to drift apart as Edgar’s personality began to change. He dropped out of college and found a new group of friends, and the distance between them kept on growing. But Jennifer wasn’t one to give up easily, and she held on to their relationship, hoping things would get better if she just put in more and more effort. But it wasn’t to be and eventually Edgar ended things, saying that it just ‘wasn’t for him’. In her mind, Jennifer had thought ‘i wasn’t good enough’. It hit her hard, and she avoided him successfully for the years following, always staying out of any places he might be so that she didn’t have to relive that pain again. So now, staring up at him, all she wanted to do was run away. But for some reason, her feet wouldn’t move. Swallowing hard, she dipped her head and looked down at her feet. “Ed,” was all she could manage to get out.