So I had been spoiled ahead of time that it was a horror game designed to look like a cutesy dating sim. I also knew a fair amount about Yuri. However I jumped in, thinking I had a good idea of everything that I was going to experience, and was completely blindsided. By Sayori.
I didn't find Sayori's part of the game to be scary. Just sad, and unfortunately, relatable. I always kind myself extremely attached to characters of her type: the ones who look super happy and cheery and positive, but turn out to have some sort of internal struggle and are more than what they seem. I find them extremely relatable since that's something I do myself.I have a hard time talking about my problems or when I'm uncomfortable or when I have a confession of a serious nature. I rarely talk about when I feel depressed, if someone mentions something I care about in a way I don't like I stay silent, I didn't even tell my parents I was gay-- I was walked in on as a teenager and that's how they found out. Even when I want to tell someone about something of that nature, I get anxious and usually end up not saying anything at all. It's something I'm
working on, but it's hard. I prefer to be casual and happy instead. I don't like others tip toeing around me or the room to be filled with negative emotions. I tend to follow a "fake it until you make it" sort of code-- that I'll be more happy eventually if I grin and bare it instead of moping around. Which, of course, doesn't work in various situations, and in worst scenarios, it's even dangerous. The only reason I'm able to mention so here is because I'm not really aiming this at anyone in particular. I find that the closer I am to someone, the harder it is to admit things. So speaking to literally no one is the easiest way to confess.
So I tend to connect and attach myself to these  types of characters and Sayori really hit the mark. She's depressed. Realistically written too. The foreshadowing was incredible, in just a way that you don't notice in the very beginning, but as soon as you know and you go back, it hits you like a ton of bricks. I love that her situation isn't pushed to the side by love either. I know most people when finding out that their loved one has depression initial reaction is to want to fix them, but depression isn't that simple. The presence of a love one can help, but it's not just going to go away. That's just not how it works. It doesn't matter if you go her route, if you do everything right, if you say you love her too, she's still in so much pain, and it's just incredibly sad when she realizes that the thing she thought would make her better and wanted so much didn't make those feelings go away. I feel like she expected it to. And knowing she's going to continue feeling that way just pulls her all the more into despair.
I wanted to draw for this game, for Sayori, but I wanted to put my feelings into it. I don't usually do that for fanart. I chose to draw a scene that we don't see but is of course implied. Right before she hangs herself. Everything is set up but she has that final fight inside her head, thinking: "Am I really about to do this...?" I don't know if I perfectly got what I was going for, but I figure it's as close as I can get at the moment.