Jellies the Fish's Mindless Misc.

I write shitty poems mostly out of boredom or the existential dread of impending doom, not that it adds much depth to what I write.

Any pronouns work, idc (except for neo-pronouns-unless directly specified)

I support LGBTQ+

I don't support pr*sh!tters. That shit nasty.

(:

I am also against TERFs, racism, anti-lgbt, pro-life, MAPs(Minor attracted "people")and zøøph!les. If you want me to give a general summary of any of these, I'd be happy to :) (though some are obvious, and you may already know them, but I don't really mind dumbing down the definition of dumb communities if some people genuinely don't know and would like to)

Don't interact with me if you are part of these awful groups I mentioned. I don't want you at all, not your support, nothing. I want any support I get be built on basic morals, thanks.

I am not a political blog, but honestly these are just basic morals.

New Tumblr- NIGHTMAREPAGAN (See my art!) But I'd prefer if you just found me on Deviantart as Nightmarepagan6669.

Just because I'm a pagan doesn't mean I'll accept everyone, my religious views just differ from the main ones :)

Though, if you're a good human being or at the very least decent, you have nothing to worry about. :)

This is now my main tumblr for any updates, issues, etc, but it will be less active.

I'm a minor, so although I can generally discuss the negativity of adult subjects, I will not go into detail.

Also if you're sensitive to strong language, you might want to avoid this page. I could probably do double posts, but I don't have quite enough following to care. (Not that I curse too often)

Don't be a creep pls

Pls read its really heartfelt

What truly happens outside life? I figure the most likely answer is nothing.

How heartbreaking though. I hate the likely reality.

No more breathing? Oh how dreadful! No more thinking? Drawing, painting, or speaking?

No more pain? No more sadness when something goes so terribly wrong? No more grief? Anger? Relief? No more drops of blood when I slip and cut my thumb? No more hearing? Not even of the sweet morning bird sounds?

Even Heaven doesn't compare to being alive. These are human, and how, despite everything, I love being human.

And just, blink! And everything is gone.

Perhaps this same knowledge encourages horrible people to do horrible things. The knowledge that, truly, in the end, nothing matters. How cruel! How horrible, oh how horrible! Horrible humans! Humans so horrible, horrible acts! Oh how I hate humans!

I hate humans, oh but only sometimes!

Humans, sometimes, are so great!

I love humans, oh but sometimes I do

And when I die, no more love, no more hate..

How cruel

To live just to die anyway

And perhaps one day I'll be satisfied

Satisfied enough to die

But isn't that something rare?

Oh maybe! To die? How horrible

Good people shouldn't die,

Am I good? No

Perhaps I don't deserve it.

But...

Oh how pointless

By Real Among Us Imposter (Me btw)

This is really stupid.

Quite,

Nothingness.

I could live

Or die

Perhaps I am diseased

Like a green, maggot cover

bleeding piece of meat

Pus and blood

Or I was, I was, I was

I was a beast

Or maybe I'm

Maybe I'm not

There's nothing for me here

and I had walked all this way

By gods, I feel a fool

A foolish naivety, festering mule

There's nothing for us here

And never will there be

I live for no one

and no one lives for me

I am before

Life, before I will

Be after, some sunrise in June

I think, maybe

Oh maybe

Life empty; requiem

Sing me some ugly song

I am rotten meat, you see

For the birds and bugs to feast

Fill my eyes with roaches and concrete,

Oh reality for real tree!

Could you believe?

Could I believe? No, but then again

Oh, then again? Then

Before life! Before death!

After it all

And after?

My eternal unrest

My eyes will never close

Sweet curse, I hope

Or I was, I was, I was

Then again, I am wrongful

Shall wait

Will time

Stay?

I am the crust

Of ocean's waste

I don't have a lot a money, and god knows I aint making any

but it would be nice.

I think my associate's degree will be art and/or design.

I suppose philosophy and psychology will be side passions

So odd the reputation I have to build on Deviantart to reach my goal of earning money..

I wish I was older so that I wouldn't have as much of a moral/legal dilemma

I wish I was a kid again. So peaceful

But time waits for no man-or woman

So all I can do is carry on

But it was never invisible to me

Maybe I belong,

I surely don't act like such

It always feels like there was a screen

Disconnecting them from me

Impossibility was never its name.

I was just too weak. Too inferior.

Maybe I belonged

For a second it felt like I did

But too easily, I let it go

Like a rescued stray

I never got along

And no matter what I blamed

I was a runaway dog

Unable to be tamed

I know it's my fault

I never learned how to be better

So impulsive

Like a wild animal

I never understood

How he could be so confident

And be so much like me

And be near me

I never understood

How he could be so great

And be so much like me

I didn't deserve it

I wish I never got a bird

Because now I love it

And now I must care for it

Just skip it over if you can. Or don't. It's really meaningless to anyone not me.

Yeah I barely slept

But now im hungry so Im waiting till its at least 7am to make pancakes

My birds are also up.

How wonderful the birds sing in morning hours.

Maybe I'll never sleep again if sleeping means missing such precious moments

Or maybe I will, and continue to miss it. .

I don't want that though.

Ugh. I hate how I write.

By Jellies (Title's w.i.p)

My window

Stays closed

Because if it opens

The room is cold

My window is closed.

The sun seems to pry

But I locked it well

So that no light shall come inside

I've boarded up my window

Because I broke my blinds

I live in a population

I need to hide from them, their eyes

I've closed my window

And turned the heat up high

Because the outside is so cold

And I have to close my eyes

And yet, my veins still freeze

And I've made sure all the windows were boarded

There's a nip in the air

Stealing all the warmth I've hoarded

Did I forget to lock the window?

Were my screws crooked and loose?

Was the window left half-open?

I'll just claim I never knew

Oh? But I've done everything right!

Window boarded and locked up so tight!

So why do I freeze so harshly?

If I did everything right?

Oh? Oh. My door's not closed

My stove is gone, stolen, as well as my bed

I suppose I let some criminals in

Oh? Oh.

I guess I'll have to lock my door

And board it up right

And fix my busted ceiling light

Oh, but it's cold

So cold,

Everything warm,

the thiefs had stole

And in the cold, I freeze alone

Oh yes,

I really enjoyed making this

I struggled with the background. I will put more effort in to learning backgrounds and scenery in the future. I hope it doesn't take anything away from my character.

I will do a paywall-mobile game move though, and not post the full thing here :)

This is not my main for art, my deviantart is, NightmarePagan6669! Please, I ask for you to see it there instead.

(It's still free btw)(there's no actual paywall)

A cycle

The statue sits solemnly

In the middle of the fountain

Remembrance was her name

And all she caused was pain

No one knows her sculptor

She just appeared one day

And she only brought misfortune

To those who passed her way

One day, a traveling man saw upon her face

Carved from the very moon

And fell in love,

With his doom

He sung her ballads and love rhymes

And tried to bring her to life

And he'd come back each time

More scarred, more strife

Years passed, man now grayed and aged

Begged and cried

For her warm embrace

And coldly she stared

As his life faded away.

She wasn't without soul

Of course, she was cursed

By a cruel magician

Who chained her unto Earth

She saw the pain of mortals

Young, old, guilty, and innocent

She desired to cry, and cry, and cry

As she watched the man who loved her so die

And not just for the man;

For all those who passed

And she desired to die, and die, and die

For all those who she made cry

Why live forever if nothing changes?

Why live at all if all there is is pain?

But she is but a coward

Content to watch the world pass

I am a ghost

Forgotten and old

So new to this world

And still a story to be told

And this is my house

of blood and bones

of mud and stone

The mold in the walls

Is all my fault

There's a water leak

That happens whenever I speak

And I am a ghost

Forgotten and cold

And it scares me;

My house made of bones

My house of terror

TW for mentions of narcissism/manipulation/abuse

Mental disorders/narcissitic disorder/ sociopathy

Jeffry Dahmer is also mentioned if the discussion of him makes anyone uncomfortable, however small the mention is.

My rants will not be up for discussion. You can say what you want, but I will not accept any arguments from internet strangers. Please understand.

This is slightly more personal than my usual posts, so just be aware of this before continuing