Rat Dad

I go outside regularly

no you don't

okay fine I go outside weirdly

“i love whatever’s wrong with you” 1) Nothing wrong with me

Hate how much A Little Treat has infested me. Any small discomfort and I'm immediately like oooo maybe exchanging money for goods and services will fix this situation.

Imagine your bike has been at the Wright Brother’s repair shop for weeks and you see Orville suddenly whiz over your head in a contraption

diagnosed with crush on a dark haired man disease

cats know keyboard shortcuts even microsoft doesnt know about

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.