Jegulily Week

@jegulilyweek, day six: angel

hey angel, one direction

@jegulilyweek

It feels like they’re in his throat now. Vines reaching out and digging into every crevice. Choking and wrapping around his lungs and heart. Squeezing every time he catches a glimpse of them in the hallways.

He can’t differentiate between the love and the pain anymore. One causing the other, causing the other.

Even with the flowers lying there, covered in his blood, he can’t help but think that they’re beautiful.

He grew up being told that he loved too much. Was too soft.

part 1: here

@jegulilyweek

...

You aren't allowed to flinch.

That's something Regulus learnt early. No matter what you see happening to someone, you're not allowed to react at all.

He doesn't remember when his parents taught him that lesson, but he hasn't forgotten it.

(It was probably over Evan, his cousins' cousin. His death is so loud and bright and violent, like fireworks, and Regulus has always wanted to tuck himself away from it when they're in the same room.)

Sometimes its so, so difficult.

Bertha Jorkins sits across from him in the library, whispering incessantly with one of her friends while he tries to finish his Astronomy homework.

(Stars, always stars)

Sometimes Regulus worries he's magnitudes weaker than everyone else on earth.

It's an almost blasphemous thought. He's supposed to be the best the world has.

(He tries to be, he won't ever stop trying.)

But her presence is almost unbearable.

She screams and screams in his mind. It's all blood and blinding pain, and she'd been pregnant, and now, well...

She lives for days as her body and mind are ripped to shreds.

There's so much blood.

Even now it's on everything she touches. Red fingerprints on the books, on her friend's arm. Pooling under her library chair.

No one else reacts. Her friend smiles and giggles like nothing's wrong, leaning in to whisper something else as they ogle someone over Regulus' shoulder.

He focuses on breathing.

He's not allowed to close his eyes, not allowed to put his hands over his ears.

Bertha's eyes sparkle as she lays out some great social conspiracy under her breath.

Oh, you haven't heard, she wants to break up with him - no obviously she hasn't told him that - I think she wants to be single when she goes to that fancy gala she got invited to.

She's always gossiping, saying things she shouldn't, prying into other people's business, and always so blithely, so cheerfully. Like it isn't going to get her killed.

She actually dated Pettigrew for a few months last year. A few visits to Hogsmede, heart shaped sweets, sitting next to each other at lunch. And Regulus would have ignored it, what did he care about other people's silly childish romances? But she'd been so carefree about that too. Like it was just a fun few months of trying dating out for the first time. Saccharine and happy, no expectations, no resentments. Like he wouldn't be the one to lead her to her death.

Regulus used to think of it as frivolity. Her silliness, her lack of solemnity.

Now he's come to see it as a strength he simply doesn't have.

To be happy living. To not be weighed down by the fate hanging over you. To accept your lot without sadness and enjoy the life given to you.

He can't do that.

Everyone else seems to have fun with the bits of life that don't matter, that aren't part of their great fate. Skipping a class for an impromptu concert in the common room, parties, day trips, friendships, hookups, the whole concept of 'Valentine's Day'.

Regulus isn't spontaneous like that. The fate is all there is for him. He can't focus on anything else when he needs to get it right.

The sorting hat sat on his head for four and a half minutes while he told it over and over that he wanted Slytherin. He wanted to fulfil his destiny. That was his sole commitment.

Regulus has feared ever since that it saw his weakness and thought he'd fail.

(No one has ever failed. Ever in history. Evey single death he's read in the paper, and there are so many these days, are all exactly as they're supposed to be.)

He can't. He can't be the one to fuck it up.

@jegulilyweek

@jegulilyweek, day 4: snake

an au where all three are sorted into slytherin

—

tyler posey as regulus

dylan o'brien as james

part 1: here

@jegulilyweek

...

You aren't allowed to flinch.

That's something Regulus learnt early. No matter what you see happening to someone, you're not allowed to react at all.

He doesn't remember when his parents taught him that lesson, but he hasn't forgotten it.

(It was probably over Evan, his cousins' cousin. His death is so loud and bright and violent, like fireworks, and Regulus has always wanted to tuck himself away from it when they're in the same room.)

Sometimes its so, so difficult.

Bertha Jorkins sits across from him in the library, whispering incessantly with one of her friends while he tries to finish his Astronomy homework.

(Stars, always stars)

Sometimes Regulus worries he's magnitudes weaker than everyone else on earth.

It's an almost blasphemous thought. He's supposed to be the best the world has.

(He tries to be, he won't ever stop trying.)

But her presence is almost unbearable.

She screams and screams in his mind. It's all blood and blinding pain, and she'd been pregnant, and now, well...

She lives for days as her body and mind are ripped to shreds.

There's so much blood.

Even now it's on everything she touches. Red fingerprints on the books, on her friend's arm. Pooling under her library chair.

No one else reacts. Her friend smiles and giggles like nothing's wrong, leaning in to whisper something else as they ogle someone over Regulus' shoulder.

He focuses on breathing.

He's not allowed to close his eyes, not allowed to put his hands over his ears.

Bertha's eyes sparkle as she lays out some great social conspiracy under her breath.

Oh, you haven't heard, she wants to break up with him - no obviously she hasn't told him that - I think she wants to be single when she goes to that fancy gala she got invited to.

She's always gossiping, saying things she shouldn't, prying into other people's business, and always so blithely, so cheerfully. Like it isn't going to get her killed.

She actually dated Pettigrew for a few months last year. A few visits to Hogsmede, heart shaped sweets, sitting next to each other at lunch. And Regulus would have ignored it, what did he care about other people's silly childish romances? But she'd been so carefree about that too. Like it was just a fun few months of trying dating out for the first time. Saccharine and happy, no expectations, no resentments. Like he wouldn't be the one to lead her to her death.

Regulus used to think of it as frivolity. Her silliness, her lack of solemnity.

Now he's come to see it as a strength he simply doesn't have.

To be happy living. To not be weighed down by the fate hanging over you. To accept your lot without sadness and enjoy the life given to you.

He can't do that.

Everyone else seems to have fun with the bits of life that don't matter, that aren't part of their great fate. Skipping a class for an impromptu concert in the common room, parties, day trips, friendships, hookups, the whole concept of 'Valentine's Day'.

Regulus isn't spontaneous like that. The fate is all there is for him. He can't focus on anything else when he needs to get it right.

The sorting hat sat on his head for four and a half minutes while he told it over and over that he wanted Slytherin. He wanted to fulfil his destiny. That was his sole commitment.

Regulus has feared ever since that it saw his weakness and thought he'd fail.

(No one has ever failed. Ever in history. Evey single death he's read in the paper, and there are so many these days, are all exactly as they're supposed to be.)

He can't. He can't be the one to fuck it up.

@jegulilyweek

@jegulilyweek, day 3: flower

sadie sink as lily evans

conan gray as regulus black

@jegulilyweek, day 2: spontaneous

@jegulilyweek