Jacqueline Greene

And like clockwork, almost routine, the abruptness of our ending felt more familiar than hurtful. We were stuck in a vicious cycle year after year of loving and then losing. And what drove it was my indecisiveness. My see-saw vulnerability of wanting to give my heart to somebody, and wanting to keep it for myself. You loved me. All these years you loved me, and I did nothing but pull, and later push you away. I was never yours but etched on the surface of my heart, was your name and the promise that my indifference made no difference to you, and in fact guranteed you would love me for as long as my restless heart beat. I loved you back. All these years I loved you back, but the timing was never favorable, and I was always torn between wanting to be yours, and belonging to somebody else. And etched on the surface of your heart was my name, and the promise that my memory would course through your veins and like a poison. Like an addiction, my name would bring euphoric highs, and miserable lows, and guranteed your love for me would haunt you as long as your restless heart beat. And that was almost enough.