LA, BABY

When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when i do it i’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on?’.

“hate on it ALL YOU WANT ?? it’s literally still a real thing !! do you not feel my WANT FOR CLOTHING ??” letting out an over dramatic groan. typical jess style. soon her features turned to OFFENDED. “WOW, RUDE !! i was only commenting on your impeccable NIRVANA STYLE LOOK !!” eyebrows were pressed together, clearly annoyed with him. “you should really APPRECIATE my nice comments !! what is wrong with people ?? you’re on your own, shrimpy. now i’m gonna be REALLY ANNOYING. so shrimpy, good luck out here in NEW YORK, people are gonna love ya !!”

“one hundred percent---” wiggling her body around while showing off, “you hear that traffic ?? hear the honks of the EVER SO LOVELY new yorkers ??” wasn’t it obvious ?? maybe only to the blonde. “dude, cali is where EVERYTHING’S AT. i miss the warm sun, beach, and flip flops !!” shaking her head slowly. “are you like in the wrong city or something ?? lookin’ for chicago, i don’t recommend. everyone has a gone there--- i think ??”

raising an eyebrow the blonde mulled over what to say. “HELL--- or as i like to call it REALITY. since i got a real GODDAMN reality check when arriving.” roll her blue orbs quickly. it almost looked like they would get stuck. “reality is NEW YORK CITY which is filled full of dicks who wanna SLAP YOUR ASS for no good reason. LUCKY US !! well---- lucky mewhen it comes to ass slapping.” folding her scarred arms over her chest, annoyed. “if only we were in CALIFORNIA--- with an ACTUAL BEACH. a real VACAY DESTINATION. except--- we’re here, in literal purgatory.”

“OF COURSE !!” hearing the whisper coming from home. although jess was known to be a little loud. her voice was full of enthusiasm. “what can i help you with ??” 

“oh no--- no, no, no !! you can’t just IGNORE WORDS !!” throwing him a salty look. “obviously, i have IMPORTANT THINGS to say, and you have to listen for at least TWO SECONDS.” pausing for a second to stare at him. “you really need a LESSON on being SOCIAL because--- you’re the worst.” sizing him up and down. “you want tips ?? i’m like the MOST SOCIAL person i’ve ever known. you know why ?? people FREAKIN’ LOVE ME. you on the other hand, i don’t love you. you are simply angry for NO REASON ??”

“everything is LEGAL for like 12 hours or something ?? so if you wanna MURDER THE HELL out of your neighbor--- you can !! OBVIOUSLY, i am not amused, all i wanna do is SHOPLIFT everything i can’t afford !!” thinking of every chanel item she could own. “what’s the deal, jessica biel ?? why are you all RUGGID ?? you look like hammered shit--- no offense. i actually kinda like your GRUNGE LOOK. we’re not in seattle, though. i can play you some NIRVANA if you wanna hear ‘em ??”

“seriously ?? where the hell are we ??” all of this was too TWILIGHT ZONE for the blonde. “we’re in like a different type of new york ?? what if we’re being invaded by robots ??”

“why wouldn’t NEW YORK CITY be standing ??” giving him a concerned look. “nothing ever even happened to it ?? unless you’re talking about THE PURGE ?? which are totally movies ?? so i’m pretty sure you’ve been dreaming ??”

“wait---- am i being kidnapped ??” eyebrows pressed together slowly. “oh hell, kidnap me-- i need a freakin’ beer !!”

“if only that were true about my family---- always shoving their noses in my problems.” rolling her icy orbs. “jessica, well, jess riley. cool--- where the hell do we start ??”  looking a big panicked because this city was big. t 

“LOOK--- i have a crush on SO MANY PEOPLE, it’d be rude to name just one. obviously, i cannot control my want and need to be with someone. can the REAL PERSON i like show up already ?? crushes ain’t cuttin’ it for me !!”

“hey beth,” holding up a white cloth, hint of regret dancing on her features, “i know i’m the LAST PERSON you wanna take a trip with ?? but, please come with me ?? i mean, it could be really fun ?? it would make me SO HAPPY to see us bury the hatchet eventually ?? we gotta start somewhere--- how about we pull off the band-aid as soon as possible !!”

“christopher-----” pausing to freak out for a split second, “i thought you were into ash ??” really surprised by this SPUR OF THE MOMENT proposal. “or is this you asking my permission to TIE THE KNOT with good ol’ ash ??” curiosity danced across her features. what was going on ?? inside her chest, her heart was beating, goose bumps danced up her arms. “is this real life ?? or just fantasy ?? is this ACTUALLY HAPPENING ??”

“no way----” smile rose on her lips, making her look like a who from whoville, “is this actually real ??” eyes wide, still not registering that this was all for her !! “i had no idea this was happening !! what a surprise !!” laying her hands over her mouth in shock. “is it too early to say i love you ?? because, dammit i love you right now !!”