did you know its national moth week? Happy national moth week!

Actually the worst thing in the world is alphabetical lists that put titles begining with "The" under the "T" section

PREACH

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

hey u missed ur shift on tumblr.com why aren’t u reblogging

Alcohol is crazy. One small cocktail enters your body and fifteen minutes later, it has transmogrifie into like a gallon of piss

That is the drunkest way I could have spelled that

one time we were listening to fleetwood mac in the car and my sister who was probably 4 at the time asked, without being prompted, “can girls marry girls?” and THAT is the power of stevie nicks