Don't just pass it. Experience it.

See ya, suckers.

Finding a place to stay is definitely one of the hardest. Signing a tenancy contract for a year at a time or two maximum. Packing and unpacking boxes of clothes, books and appliances but sometimes the place you move into is not too conducive for all the things you have so you just leave it in the box. So that the next time you move, you have one less thing to worry about. Different from hoarding as some books are reference books which to some profession is part of the investment. You long for a place to call a 'home-away-from-home' because rent money just becomes increasingly ridiculous but then starting out, you do not have the savings to make a down payment to a decent property nor the monthly income to warrant a loan for a 'seven digit' property. Not because you enjoy being a fussy about it but because that is all there is unless you live further away from your place of work and at that point, the concern becomes petrol money. 

Meeting new people is fantastic. Although you can meet new people by staying in your hometown, moving out would offer you people of more diverse character. For, we live different lives depending on where we come from. Our upbringing is different and our culture is different. This, above everything else, definitely brings the world into a different focus. 

Does your ethnicity define you? Does your ancestors define you? Does your religion define you? Does your degree define you? Does your work define you? 

To find a particular trait to represent yourself would be doing injustice to everything else in your life which includes the memories you make, the pain you felt, the ideas you harnessed and the people you have encountered. 

I would not want to be defined by my race because I believe the idea creates a division in society and the feeling of superiority which isn't and shouldn't be justified in any way.

I would not want to be defined by my religion because I think the idea of it has been tainted by a great many and then it to, creates division in society.

I would not want to be defined by my memories because I would not want to be defined by my past when there is still a future and there is much more to be done. 

I would not want to be defined by my ideas for ideas have a tendency of changing. 

I would not want to be defined by the people I encounter for I believe that we need to always see the best in a person. None of us are perfect. Moreover, we should not limit the people we socialise with for everyone has something to teach whether directly or indirectly. 

I believe, we should not try to define a person. We should not put people into small little boxes in our heads just to feel comfortable with them. A person should not be reduced to an idea.

Let's hashtag this sh*t. 

First we have an idea. Then before long, the idea starts to have a name albeit the idea being just a fragment of one person's thought or an ounce of one person's labour. 

The idea then begin to have various interpretations. Some mild, some highly intoxicating to the point of smothering. The question becomes, which interpretation is the right one? 

Diversity is in our nature and when guided by ego, we tend to discriminate. The idea is then raped, used and defiled. What are we left with then? 

We try to come up with an accurate definition for the idea that now has a label, but alas, there will always be skeptics and more often than not, the enemy is in the tent with us. 

There used to be a time when parents would carry their babies and when their children are big enough to walk, they would hold their children's hand and walk together.

Now all you have are prams. Prams up and down the aisle in boutiques, prams blocking the aisle at the grocery store, prams knocking you because their handlers are too busy looking elsewhere. 

There used to be a time when parents would actually discipline their children. Now, you have parents allowing their kids to run wild around town and it does not matter if their kids get in people's way.  

"It takes a village to raise a child"

There is a reason for that saying. If you have ever lived in a village, it does not matter whose kid it is. If a particular kid misbehaves, an adult would be justified to tell the kid off and offer some advice. Simpler times. Try doing it today. 

Today, we live in an overwhelmingly sensitive society. We cannot say much about anything. "Who are you to judge?" they would say. "You don't have kids, you don't know anything. Single people are the most selfish people!" the would lament. 

Well then, okay. Forgive me. I would do better to avoid your prams as you nonchalantly allow your mind to be distracted by things that are on sale. I would sip my coffee in silence as your children run around the restaurant screaming their heads off as you continue eating.

Safety and peace are overrated. My idea of being considerate is flawed. The world revolves around you.  

What is this? This new ground I am standing on?  With people so foreign and emotions beaten to a pulp.Helpless and confused, sometimes I cannot help but feel alone.

Sometimes the days are easy.

The best times are when I realise how good I have it. Things could be worse.

But sometimes I am transported back in time. The time when days are easier. When things were predictable and people more willing to forgive.

Grow up! grow up! The world stops for nobody. Things could be worse. 

This is the world I used to dream of as a child. Who would have known that when I got there, I would not fancy it that much. 

Need to toughen up. Expectations are good. It has to be. One would not expect if they do not have faith. Although it would be great if expectations were made known. 

Maybe my generation is too spoiled. Perhaps we ask too much of our elders. However we have to consider, growing up, we were not beaten as a means of discipline. Instead, sound reasoning accompanied negative reactions. We are a generation of reason. We seek to find the logic in every action and we seek an environment free of fear. Can that really be a bad thing? 

Grow up, grow up. Getting up before sunrise is nobody's thing. The world stops for nobody. 

Aaaahh here we are again. The beginning of a new journey. I use to have a plan for my life. A one year plan, a three year plan, a five year plan. Now, all I am concern with is getting past today. I have discovered over the years that although planning helped me attain academic success, it had also prevented me from having fun. At 22 I believe that I have missed out on so much. So many times I have spent worrying about things yet to happen and things that may not even happen. So I am going to embrace the day as it comes. Doing my best for today, doing better tomorrow. 

The end of my undergraduate studies have opened up a whole new world. A world where everyday is different and all you can hope for is that you know a little bit of what you are doing in hopes that you would eventually attain what is asked. I cannot wish that I am still doing my undergraduate degree for that would mean that I have not won the final battle. The only alternative now is to brave the sea of uncertainty.

If I continue trying, there still exist a chance that one day I might succeed but if I were to give up, I have no chance of succeeding at all. The sentiment was from one of Nick Vujicic's videos that I watched about three to four years back. It remains in my memory though the actual words have been forgotten. 

There are so many battles in the world. Some which involves physical violence and some which involves societal threats and mental oppression though the body is free to wonder. 

Recently, I just finished a book entitled Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. The book  gave me a whole new perspective on equality and feminism. People often think the problem with women and why there are not many of them in leadership positions is because they are not empowered enough. I told my classmates about the role of women once and their answer was: and that is why we need to empower women!. I think it is more than empowerment that women need. They need moral support and encouragement that it is possible to be professionally successful and have a family. Growing up, I was raised to believe that I could achieve anything that I set my mind to. Albeit that however, there still exist sentiments in my life that reminds me of where a woman's place ought to be and that is: home, with her husband and kids. Growing up in an Asian household there is also an overshadowing pressure for a woman to marry. Especially for a person of native heritage like mine where  success is measured not on your degree and professional achievements but on how many children you have. On top of that, it is expected that the woman would go where her husband takes her, even if it is at the expense of quitting her job. Cook for your husband, clean for your husband. In Lean In, Sandberg gave a brilliant metaphor of a marathon race.. The men in the race is continuously cheered on whilst the women though initially cheered were later indirectly pressured to quit the race as a result of cultural and societal expectations. I think it is time, for us to do away with culture that prevents us from fulfilling our highest potentials. I am not married and neither do I have children therefore I would not know how well her book would fair with other women who are married or have kids. For me, the book had helped shed a different light on how the world works,  how it is supposed to work and how it can work. Young women who aspire to be the best that they can be should read this book. 

On other news, the general election (GE13) is coming up. May 5th, 2013. Sadly it is on a Sunday, a day of obligation for Christians and my flight back to KL would also be on the night itself as the next day I would need to attend classes. Brilliant work on the part of the Election Commission! But condemning people and praising God in the same breath would be quite an irony so I'll just leave it at that.

I know who I am voting for. Weird is when I still get statements from my friends who say that they do not care who wins. Firstly, you are in a University on your way to getting a degree. The moment you join the work force, a certain status is given to you by virtue of that degree. Do you not think that you ought to give back to society? Get down from your high horse, not many people are as lucky as you. Some people don't even know the various opportunities that exist around them because the system has so ensured that generations after generations they would remain poor and marginalised. Apparently for some, knowledge does not translate to wisdom. Secondly, Sarawak is the laughing stock of the country. Non-Sarawakians are making statement of our home state as if they understand what is going on in the State and making up their mind that Sarawak truly is the land of the blind. If we do not help our own people, who will? Sarawak has a long way to go. But we have to start from somewhere.