There's a Flaw in my Code

Mitch: Yes, all day. Anytime you want, feel free ;)

“Oh I don’t know. She handled Pride pretty fucking well and I got my leg bit off then. Unless you don’t think her best friend almost dying counts as devastating enough?” Sabrina pointed out with a shrug. “And she’ll do it because she’s Presley and she has to. Look, I get it. You’re scared and you’re worried about her. But, it seems to me that Jackie coming out is out of your control, so what else can we do, but trust her?” Brina said softly, giving Heather’s chin a light nudge, before taking a step back and saying so that the compact could hear. “Now, if we’re both going to die today, I should grab a knife and a bucket. This might get messy. Anything you want to do before Jack ends it all for the both of us?”

“I do think that’s devastatin and it was pretty rough, but she’s never cut it this close. I think that’s the problem. It’s out of my control, and the one thing that Jackie and I have goin for us is our control. That’s why I’m so worried and having such a problem with this.I do trust her. I’m not the young wild and free one. I’m the calculated one. You really do care about my sister, huh? Willing to go out with us.” She smiled, glad that Jackie at least had someone she could count on in her life like this. “The things I want to do would break her sobriety, sadly. Probably also her calorie count ‘cause I kinda wanna either drink a lot or eat a lot. All the things I haven’t been eatin’ since I started actin.” 

Mitch: ...wanna come over and get this 🍆-fil-a?

Iz paused. “Um…” He looked Heather over. “I’ve met her, yeah. But I probably know you better than I do her.” Isaiah paused again. “Still I can’t leave you hanging. Or have you turning into goo so.. Um. How ‘bout we freak out at a 7 and not a 10,000? I’ve got your back, kid.” He replied, easily agreeing to help Heather. “What does your sister like? I mean, I can sing her something real quick. Is that cool?”

“It’s easier said than done to freak out at a 7 when it’s not you dyin’ a second time. Once was enough. Um, she likes music, and musicals, and sex. She likes other stuff but those are all the things my frantic brain has knowledge of in this moment. Uh...sure let me just open the compact.” She said, opening the compact in her hand so that Jackie could see and hear Iz. Even though he was practically a stranger to her she guessed. 

“Good point… Distraction it is. I could uh… give you a strip tease?” Hayden offered up with a playful shrug. “That would be distracting, wouldn’t it?”

“That would probably depend on whether or not you dance well, and how well you strip. But I’m never gonna say no to strippin’.” 

“You say that, but this is Grant we’re talking about. And of course! I appreciate you and all that comes with it. And oh… wow. I’m- how did he die, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Drug overdose. You’d think we’d learn from dad. But we all fell into his escape. Except Heather. She doesn’t drink or do drugs. She never has. But it’s my fault. Heather died and I was supposed to be there for him, but instead of got busy with work, and making my dreams come true. So much so that he got lost in the fray. And I couldn’t see the signs.” 

“Oh shit. Jaquelyn freakin’ Presley,” Lily practically growled under her breath. “This is not how this works! She can’t just hide away. I mean does she think we like being half people or dealing with her and Chloe’s messes? I mean objectively speaking, it’s probably more of Chloe’s mess that she dragged us all into then anything, but still! We don’t. But, we deal because they’re our sisters and we love them and we’d do anything for them. So, she should just pull it together already and not liquify my- well you know. And I could, but I doubt me making out with you right now is going to help draw your sister out. If anything I’m pretty sure it would have the opposite effect… What if you try to shift? Not into Jackie, but your animal form? At least that would stop the impending liquidification, right?” 

“Jackie has never done well with disaster. It’s why I know I’m stronger, but I don’t want to take over her life. I want to be with you living one week at a time in a beautiful chaotic half life. And I don’t want to die again. My neck snapped last time on the stairs and it was quick. This liquifying seems very painful. Wait your...?” she asked, knowing that this wasn’t the time for that talk. “No, you making out with me would be a wonderful distraction but it most definitely wouldn’t help this. I don’t know if I can. I’ve never shifted into Jackie’s tiger before. Have you ever shifted into the animal?

“Weird… And you didn’t feel sad or like crying before Jackie came out to begin with?” Lily asked, not knowing what to make of it either. “Then you must love me all of the time, since I’m never patient,” Lily laughed against the other girl’s lips.

“Nope not one bit,” Lily said. She’d try to figure out what happened that day, but she didn’t want to spend the rest of her date with this incredibly beautiful woman trying to figure it out. “Of course I do. I find it very, sexy,” she admitted. It was easy for the world to melt away when she was with Lily. 

“I do? And oh… that’s not good. And I could slap you if that would help? Or oh! I could try to compel her out? I’m not sure if that would even work, but it’s worth a shot right?”

“If you slap me, I’mma slap you back. So that ain’t an option here. The problem with compulsion is, Jackie can’t see or hear or have any memories of what I’m doin’. The only way we communicate is with this compact that the Alliance gave us from that wish...makes me wonder now just what the hell they were givin’ out wishes for.” 

“Hey Little Presley. What’s up- shit. Of course, I’ll help you. I’ve got your back. You know that. Hey- It’s gonna be okay, Heather. This is Jackie. Our Jackie. The girl whose been sober for years now. The girl who loves you more than she loves herself and would do just about anything in the whole wide world to make things right by you. She’s not going to let your liquify. She’s got your back, just like I do. Forever and always. And as for Jack, I’m not really sure how the whole skinwalker stuff works, but if you can reach her or communicate with her or if she can hear me, tell her that Sabrina says ‘you jump, I jump, Jack’ and that she means it. So, she better get her butt out here if she doesn’t want to watch me down bleach or something so that my organs will liquify too.”

“Yes, our Jackie, but when’s the last time she’s had to deal with complete and total devastation sober? And believe me, right now not only is she probably devastated, but her body...our body really has a taste for alcohol. I ain’t a drinker but I’ll be damned if I don’t want quite a few drinks right about now.” It felt as though Jackie had just left her in a mess. A complete and utter mess, one that she didn’t want to be the dominant personality of. She pulled out her compact. “She can hear us. Jack, Sabrina say ‘you jump, I jump’. And I’m really scared Jackie. I know it’s hard and I know this body is craving a drink. Don’t make me take over.” She sighed. “The sad part is, I knew her intentions were good when she signed up. And it just blew up in her face just before her album launch and getting this passion part of her career goin’. I don’t know how she’s gonna recover from this.” 

“Hi! How are yo- Oh. That doesn’t sound good. Are you sure you don’t need a doctor? And yeah, yeah of course. I’m happy to help. I mean I don’t exactly know what I can do about the shifting thing, but the distraction, I’ve got covered. I’m a nymph so distracting people for a night is sort of my thing.”

“I don’t know what they could possibly do. This is all part of bein’ a skinwalker. And yet my insides might liquify and I die today tomorrow so...It’s inevitable if my sister doesn’t come out. I’ll be A-okay with a distraction. That way I don’t think about imminent death.” 

“Hey Little Presley. And I am. A therapist that is. Not a hypnotist. Those are two very different things. Not that you can’t use hypnotism as part of therapy, but it’s rare if anything. But, you and I will figure this out, okay? I got you,” He said, throwing his arm around Heather and giving her a tight squeeze. “Let me guess- this happened after the list was leaked to the press?”

“At this point you could be a witch with a voodoo doll for all I care. I just don’t want my insides to liquify. I feel like that’s gonna hurt.” She felt herself relax into the embrace, giving him a returning squeeze. “Yep, that’s when. I didn’t what the hell was goin’ on but I quickly found out, and I think she did all this ‘cause of me.” She shrugged, guilt hitting her hard. “I don’t know what to say to get her out. I know she hears me.” She pulled out the compact that linked them even when one of them was in the sunken place to keep them in communication. “She just won’t respond. I can even see her there, balled up in the sunken place. I don’t know what to do.”

“The bedroom. I already know you like straight up bullshit when it comes to fun. It’s why there’s never been a dull moment with you. You stay wylin. But I’m a fan.” He cut his eyes at Jackie’s the normal quip. “Word? You just gonna kill my illusion like that? What, lemme guess - you garden in your spare time?” He hummed at Jackie’s follow up. “See I didn’t know the beach thing. But I knew the rest. And you talking Canadian rough ass beaches or regular ones without cliffs and rocks every damn where?” Dominic asked. He inhaled deeply. “…I’ve never seen that before. But I think I won’t lose all of my shit, so yeah. I’ll hit up Pretty Ricky and ask him when he’s free and we’ll get started asap.” He paused. “…Uh, what’s your sister name again?”

“Oh well, depends. I’m a flexible lover, so I can be soft and sweet, or I can be wild, and enjoy a good choking and roughness. There was this one time right outside the security station right up against the glass windows. Fucking thrilling. And again at a bar, not privately, actually at the bar. So I’m into a lot of things. I enjoy a good manhandling.” Jackie burst into laughter. “You know I was joking right? About the long walks on the beach. It’s been cold as hell what do I look like on the beach? But I do like to cuddle up with my pup Rizzo and watch some trash reality tv.  Her name is Heather. I take it you’ve never encountered that loudmouth, southern thing. If you think I’m something...wait ‘til you meet her.” 

“I suppose at some point in time? But, I can’t exactly recall a specific moment in which I have,” Ryder admitted. “It’s not like I try to filter myself. It’s just who I am I suppose. Someone who overthinks everything before letting a word out.” Between growing up surrounded by politicians and being silenced by his uncle at every turn, Ryder never had the luxury of speaking freely. And if he was being honest, he wasn’t even sure he knew how. “Well, I appreciate it more than you can know and good. You should, because it’s the truth. But, I also understand the need to hang onto people. I’ve always had trouble… letting go? It’s like my brain isn’t capable of saying good bye or at least meaning it if I do?” He knew he should have let go of the need to be reunited with his parents again, but even now, even after it had cost him so much, he still clung onto the naive possibility. “I like your fresh start too. And I believe it. I just hope one day I can find mine? I’m not exactly sure what my favorite version of me would be or how much of who I am is a facade and how much is real?” He had never admitted that out loud before. That sometimes he felt like the biggest fraud in the whole wide room.

“But it’s not necessarily a bad thing though. I bet you’d be a great poker player actually, huh?” she teased. Jackie definitely understood what he meant about his brain being incapable of letting go. “My brain seems incapable of sticking to the goodbyes even when someone hurts me. And I just don’t let go even when I should. I’m the last to leave a situation. Even if I should be the first to go.” She should have let go of her heartbreak. Should have let go of the blame and the pain that her siblings death caused. Even when she was sure her parents looked at her with sadness, pity and blame, she still didn’t give up on them either. “I actually know what you mean there. There’s this loud, proud drunk off her ass woman that was such a facade. Then I had to figure out who I am without it. I’m still figuring it out. But it’s eye opening once you realize what’s been the facade this entire time. Do you ever just catch yourself feeling like that? Like fuck I’m not even sure the things I just said are me or the impression of me.”

“I mean I’ve been called charming before, but nothing quite to that extent,” He chuckled, smiling up at her as he did. “I don’t know if I’d say with no agenda, but thank you. That means a lot coming from you. And there have been.  Had it been the you from two years ago, I guess I’d just have to end up detaining you.”

“Oh and what kind of agenda would that be?” she asked wearing an intrigued smile before a laugh escaped her at the thought. “I wouldn’t mind being detained by you. In fact I’d probably purposely cause trouble just for the detaining. You’re as interesting to talk to as you are handsome so It’s like a win-win of getting detained. Or you know just being around you. You’re very lucky that I don’t try to pull you on stage and serenade you one day.” 

“I’ve notice. But, as someone who constantly filters himself without even intending to, it can be fairly refreshing? And in that case… thank you? For letting me get to know your favorite version of you? And as for everyone else, well… screw them. Anyone who doesn’t appreciate how rare you are, isn’t worth your time,” Ryder promised her. Giving her a quiet nod as she talked about being an alcoholic. “I get it… Magic used to be my escape and I know it’s far different from actual substances, but I used to be… obsessed? Addicted? I spent thirty five years of my life clinging to the past and then I died. It was probably good timing to, because if I had kept going, the black magic would have probably swallowed me whole and spit me out as something entirely else… But, now? Now, I get a fresh start. Somewhat anyhow? And can attempt to figure out how to move forwards?”

“Have you ever said anything without a filter before?” she wondered. “I didn’t intend to, but you got me singing in one of our very first interactions, so you got this version of me earlier than most if any ever get this version.” Jackie smiled, she honestly didn’t know what to say. “The more you say things like that the more I may actually start to believe it. That people who don’t appreciate how rare I am aren’t worth my time. I hang on to people even when they don’t hang on to me,” she admitted. She knew it was a flaw but it was one that came about because she didn’t see her own self-worth sometimes. “Honestly any kind of escape that becomes an obsession is very relatable. Fresh starts are good. The clarity mine gave me wasn’t so great because I realized the people I hung onto weren’t really as with me as I thought. But I like my fresh start. Sobriety is hard but I’m learning about my favorite version of me. Believe it or not, this is how I used to be. Before the anger and constantly wanting to fight.”