existensial crisis of the day.

jann | she | twenty9 | ♏️ | intp | 📍pnw | chronically ill cancer survivor | mental health therapist | deeply unserious person | long time tumblr roleplayer | i make rp memes and talk about mental health |

memes by type:

Areas of the Pacific Northwest have been experiencing flooding since Thursday December 11th due to an atmospheric river event, with Western Washington experiencing the majority of the actual flooding (though parts of Oregon and British Columbia have also been affected). Much of the PNW is still under flood watches and many have been displaced due to the flooding. I cobbled together a couple emergency relief funds I was able to find online. Please feel free to add to the list if you know of any additional resources.

List of verified GoFundMe fundraisers that go directly toward individuals affected by the floods.

United Way Flood Relief Efforts

United Way of Central Washington Disaster Recovery Fund

United Way of Skagit County Disaster Relief Fund

United Way of Lewis County Flood Relief Fund

a selection of lines from the 2025 film wake up dead man. modified for rp purposes.

so, you're a fighter, then?

we need fighters today, but to fight the world, not ourselves.

the world is a wolf.

you start fighting wolves, and before you know it, everyone you don't understand is a wolf.

you give me one more shot, and i promise i'll do that.

spirit's got me. let me at him.

i know you're used to flying solo, but i'm here to serve.

if i can stave off that demon, you can.

take my confession.

wealth and the power that comes with it is eve's apple.

his day came at last. i was there.

that holy man's final act of grace was to keep the corrupting evil out of wicked hands.

the darkness of that story was the bedrock of this place.

i found it a tough read, but he pinned all of his hopes on it.

i believed they could heal me. suckered. dipshit moi.

to take someone's faith and exploit it for money is the ultimate evil.

i understand wanting to believe.

i'm so sorry your little coup failed this afternoon, [name].

you all seem scared to death of that guy.

man needs to forgive and start living his life.

it seems like you're intentionally keeping them angry and afraid.

right now, you're angry. you should be. it'd be dangerous if you weren't.

i'd see you're helpless, and i'd do it again and again.

anger. anger lets us fight back, take back the ground we've lost.

are you gonna get angry and fight?

the anger felt less calculated. more unhinged.

i should warn you before you walk out of here, the town is talking.

i was happy the old man was dead.

you're welcome. come in, come in.

it's hard to be in here and not feel His presence.

i kneel at the altar of the rational.

it's like someone has shone a story at me that i do not believe.

listen, you want to kick me out, you go right ahead.

do these stories convince us of a lie? or do they resonate with something deep inside us that's profoundly true?

i'm gonna lose that, and ... and lose my purpose, and i'm frightened.

i ... i don't know how i'll live.

everyone thinks i did it. i didn't do it.

in my heart, maybe i did, and the way it happened was some kind of miracle.

i don't know. i'm lost. i don't know.

would you allow me to help you?

what i see is not a guilty man in torment, but an innocent man tormented by guilt.

no, no, no. i don't belong here.

if you want absolution, then you need to go through this with me.

i need to know you understand the situation.

i'll do whatever it takes to save it. to cut you out like a cancer.

this should not exist in our real world, and yet, here it is.

your original sin has stained this place.

we have all the pieces laid out before us now.

this can't be impossible. there must be a piece missing.

see, i think there's something in there, in your head, that i need to solve this case.

why'd i think i could lie to you and get away with it?

oh, no, you didn't lie. i knew you wouldn't. you just didn't say the dishonest part out loud.

i did it to save the people who believe in him just a little disillusionment.

the spirit really moved him today, huh?

this is devious, it's calculated against me.

you have listened to this flock's stories with empathy and grace, but we're done with that now.

we must discover what happened that night, and what this flock of wicked wolves is hiding.

he was a con man. miracles and supernatural power of god bullshit.

i still wanna believe. how sick is that?

you shut your mouth, you little shit weasel.

if made public, it could ruin people in this room.

you promised if i stuck with you, you could heal me.

i don't need you to be a saint.

you are your father's nightmare.

you cannot buy god's healing.

will you pray for me?

i'm feeling pretty alone, um, right now.

i remember, i knew he was in trouble and i kept going and going until i felt him break.

i killed him with hate in my heart.

we are here to serve the world, not beat it.

you knew all along and you toyed with that poor kid like a cat with a mouse.

news is gonna spread fast and i don't want any lookieloos.

flee into the dark, you murderer!

i'm guilty. i have to confess.

this might get unpleasant. i mean, more unpleasant.

i have to do it of my own free will or it won't mean anything.

if you'd like to confess anything, this seems like a pretty great place to do it.

last night, that same sin rose in me in a moment of fear and rage.

i'm sorry, that was dramatic, but i needed you to stop talking.

is this you sparing our faith or being respectful or something?

i told myself it started with pure intent. but the truth is it started with a lie.

with defiant pride, i confessed.

all my life, i was not the bad one. i was the good one. the faithful one.

it all went according to plan. oh, god.

i didn't reckon the cost.

anything for you, my angel.

he trusted me. because he loved me.

i have lied, i have killed, and now i have topped it all off with a real doozy.

a selection of lines from the 2025 film frankenstein. modified for rp purposes.

where does all this blood come from?

that thing is coming.

what is that thing? what does it want?

bring him to me!

it will come back and kill many more.

it cannot die.

what manner of creature is this?

what manner of devil made him?

there is no spiritual content in tissue, and no emotion in a muscle.

a part of the universe had been hollowed out and the firmament was now permanently dark.

he was the breeze, i was the storm cloud. 

no one can conquer death.

i would have command over the forces of life and death.

we are not gods, are we?

if we are to behave as immodestly as gods, we must, at the very least, deliver miracles.

this is the future. this is possible.

god gives life, and god takes it.

perhaps god is inept.

the answers only come when coaxed by disobedience, free of fear and cowardly dogma!

what i saw was a crucifixion, really.

you are like a child, so excited, clutching your new pet so tightly that you’re strangling it.

can you contain your fire, prometheus? or are you going to burn your hands before delivering it?

we’re searchers for truth and transcendence, kindred spirits.

don’t pretend to be reasonable now.

i fail to see why modesty is considered a virtue at all.

ideas are not worthwhile by themselves, i don’t believe.

how often a man believes he’s met an angel or a devil, only to find it is all an illusion.

i take it then that we have an understanding?

you would have died within the year.

they’re wretches, every one of them.

have you so hastily committed sin?

respectfully, you do not know this man.

i saw you well before you saw me, i can say that much.

what books did you buy, hmm? may i?

my interest in science leans towards the smallest things. moving with nature, perhaps the rhythms of god.

for the very first time, i became more interested in life and somewhat less interested in death.

i trust you above anyone else.

you can see god’s design in the symmetry and the shapes.

believing something does not make it true.

beautiful creature, is she not?

one fine morning, i will start to scream and i will never stop.

i cannot face such a vulgar demise.

i will be the eagle that feasts on your liver!

you share my madness.

perhaps there is a finer point in me telling you my story.

no, don't touch me! don't ever touch me!

you are afraid of me? why? why would you be afraid of me?

i've never had a clearer mind! come, come!

the spirits have lifted me so much.

his wounds. you wounded him like that.

no, no, no. it was the world that hurt him.

did you ever ask yourself, of all the parts that make that man, which one holds the soul?

there’s something so disquieting about that creature down there.

what if, unrestrained by sin, our creator’s breath came into its wounded flesh directly?

in those eyes i saw pain, and what is pain if not evidence of intelligence?

what about my pain? what about what you have denied me?

of all the human anatomy, that is the organ furthest from your understanding.

only monsters play god.

your heart is pure? i assure you it isn’t.

in a fit of rage, he killed him.

in seeking life, i created death.

do not harm him! i'm here.

my maker told his tale. now, i will tell you mine.

i called your name and understood i was alone.

i felt cold. so cold.

what could i possibly do for them?

for a moment, a brief, brief moment, the world and i were at peace.

violence felt inevitable between them.

perhaps, i thought, this was the way of the world. it would hunt you and kill you just for being who you are.

with a single step, i entered a different world. 

are you not from these parts?

your hands are frozen and you’ve been hurt, have you not?

yes. your hands and face have scars.

there is something in your voice which persuades me of your goodwill and kindness.

i would be delighted to share what little i have with you and would be greatly helped by your companionship.

time passed and fell away with the leaves of autumn.

are there more books than this in the world?

man has questions for god. even god has questions. i think he wanted answers and that is why he sent us his son.

death probably intrigued him.

the true measure of wisdom. to know you have been harmed, by whom you have been harmed, and choose to let it all fade.

i understood that i was nothing.

this hurt clung to my mind. it never let go.

i found what i am. what i am made from.

i am the child of a charnel house. a wreckage.

there was silence again, and then merciless life.

death, a gift you too had denied me.

i’ve rarely felt remorse before and now i feel little else.

come out of the shadows, if you are here.

we can be monsters together.

i have found sanity at such a cost, and you here are madness calling me back.

in you i have created something truly horrible.

whatever puzzle i am, creator, i think. i feel.

i am obscene to you, but to myself i simply am.

then it is still all about your will.

that horrible, horrible will that birthed me condemns me now?

the miracle is not that i should speak, but that you would ever listen!

if you are not to award me love, then i will indulge in rage.

i fear you, [name]. i always have.

you are the monster.

i sought and longed for something i could not quite name. but in you, i found it.

to be lost and to be found, that is the lifespan of love.

you gave me life unwanted. i give that back to you.

i will make you bleed. i will make you humble.

you may be my creator, but from this day forward, i will be your master.

you only listen when i hurt you.

this. you put your faith in this.

now, run.

so, there you were, broken and discarded. and i, alive again.

and here we are. spent and done.

i will bleed. ache. suffer. you see, it will never end.

regret consumes me.

what hope i had, what rage … it is all nothing.

the tide that brought me here now comes to take you away.

if you have it in your heart, forgive yourself into existence.

while you are alive, what recourse do you have but to live?

Context:

I have a character that we will call Max, they’re friends with almost the rest of the cast because they’re considered reliable when it comes to accomplishing tasks and missions. But when we start talking about "true friends" they only really have one and their two siblings.

There are plenty of things that irritate, frustrate Max and it is only with these people that Max lets all their emotions express. They need the approval of people outside their close circle. Besides, the compliments from their friend and their siblings do not reach them.

Max is doing some sort of artistic/mechanical work and wants to be recognized, but getting nowhere, they'll be super happy if a stranger tells them they're doing good work, but totally depressed if only their loved ones tell them it's good.

Max = their work.

If their work doesn't interest anyone, then they don't interest anyone, and therefore they’re worthless. So Max is literally addicted to their work, eats extremely little, and barely sleeps (a completely unhealthy lifestyle).

And so their relationships with their loved ones are insidiously worsening. And it's becoming a real cycle: is their work approved by others? Yes, then the relationships with their loved ones are going great. Is their work not approved? Either Max will have crises related to their frustration/feeling of not existing, or they will withdraw into silence.

I tried to give the most complete description of my character. I'd like to know if there are any things that seem inconsistent with BPD or if anything could be considered problematic. //english is not my main english so sorry for the mistakes ::’D

That was all, thanks for reading :>

May you always see a blue sky overhead, my young friend;

and then, even when the time comes, which is coming now for me,

when the woods are all black, when night is fast falling, you will be

able to console yourself, as I am doing, by looking up to the sky.

… Scrupulosity fits this picture perfectly. People with scruples believe, “If I have this thought, image or impulse, I must be that kind of person or willing to do those things.” The person then focuses on religious statements about the importance of a “clean” mind or a “pure spirit.” Further, God knows what is in our hearts.