can i request how will the whc act if the reader was insecure and compares herself a lot
︶ ︽ ︶ WHC BOYS x INSECURE fem!READER
includes: yeon sieun, ahn suho, oh beomseok, seo juntae, park humin, go hyuntak, na baekjin, geum seongje
summary: reader is insecure (mostly physical appearance focused) and her boyfriend’s reaction
warnings: insecurity in general, mentions of weight, self loathing
a/n: thank you for this request love, i tried to keep them in character ♡ this is kinda aah but i had fun
english isn’t my first language, love comments and support (づ￣ ³￣)づ
he never gave it too much thought before, he’s the type to fall in love with one person, his person, and it’s forever. so to him, you were all he’d ever need, which meant you were perfect.
you never want to worry him, you know he has his problems, and you want him to fix his mental health before ´bothering him’ with your stuff, which is very dumb.
he saw it before, after bubbling up all this negativity for too long, it came out mean and ugly.
you two were in your bedroom, you had something important to attend to and sieun was helping you out. it was funny because he sat there and watched you and you were basically forcing him to give his opinion.
but today wasn’t fun, you’d felt so bad these last weeks especially, and every dress you tried made you want to rip your hair out.
he felt that you were angry and thought you were just frustrated not finding the right fit, but there it was, you stared at your reflection “god i look awful” you sounded so defeated but so much like it was a fact. his expression showed his surprise, he sat up on the bed. “what?” he said, looking at your reflection in the mirror and he saw your shoulders slumped, you took a deep breath thinking it would calm you down but instead you just started quietly crying, shoulders shaking.
he came up to you calmly not wanting to overwhelm you, “y/n, please don’t cry”, you were always there for him when he let himself cry in front of you, he wanted to be there even if he couldn’t fix it.
“i didn’t know you thought of yourself this way.” he’d told you after you’d calmed down, you sat together shoulders touching, he took your hand with his on his lap.
when you admitted how much you compared yourself to others, it made everything make so much sense, in the way you’ve always been watching others with admiration, you actually just didn’t like yourself.
he made sure that he watched you everyday even more attentively than before to catch any glimpse of self loathing coming from you.
you two were in the kitchen with his grandmother, the sweet old lady loved having you guys around, she cooked for you and when it was time for dinner, suho’s head snapped up from his plate when you shook your head, smiling at his grandma “i shouldn’t eat any more today, i need to lose some weight” you spoke casually, and it wasn’t the first time suho heard you say stuff he didn’t like about yourself, degrading yourself, but never harshly enough that he could intervene.
“who told you that?” he’d ask tilting his chin up like he’s ready to find whoever was mean to you. he isn’t delicate with it at first, because he doesn’t understand. you’re perfect, it didn’t cross his mind that you could be insecure.
you’d already commented on your hair being too this and that, you’d even criticized things that sounded so stupid to him like not liking your arms.
when it was just the two of you, it was very visible in his expressions, how worked up about this he was. brows furrowed as he stared at you,
“there’s nothing you need to change about yourself, you’re so beautiful, people would kill to look like you!”
he’s passionate about it because he hates seeing people he loves hurting, whether it’s his few friends or his girlfriend.
you told him you couldn’t explain it, that you just hated yourself sometimes.
later on he’d sit with you “i’m sorry i yelled.” even if he didn’t really yell, he just doesn’t like when his emotions take over when he’s confused and frustrated.
“i just don’t like when people shit talk my girl” he nodded, finding a way to make you exhale a short laugh through your nose.
you looked down “i wish i could just be like them.” you admitted, trying not to be ashamed because, it’s suho.
“i wouldn’t want anybody else, y/n, you’re perfect.” and he meant it.
he’d end up holding you close at night whispering he’ll help you overcome your insecurities.
he knows about being insecure, he’s been stuck in that prison all his life, his entire existence felt wrong, from his personality to his looks. you’re the one who boosted his confidence, made him understand he had every right to be vulnerable.
and you didn’t even apply your own gentleness to yourself?
he was destabilized when he understood, he admired you a lot for your resilience and patience, he wanted to give you the same treatment.
he wasn’t dumb, he got it in the little comments you made sometimes, “she’s so pretty” looking at a girl with that tone, like you could never be her. or the way you spoke with yeongi and he’d overheard you asking where she shops, being admirative like you were inferior.
you were on the couch watching a movie, the apartment was always empty anyway, you were sitting together weirdly, your head on his shoulder, back half against him, somehow making it comfortable.
beomseok looked at you, speaking casually, with a short nod.
“i wish you could see yourself with my eyes.”
it was such a simple statement, but it pierced right through your heart. you couldn’t even hear the movie in the background anymore, him who can have troubles communicating his feelings, he went over that just so you could know how important you are.
and he never stopped looking at you with that look, speaking a thousand words, all while buying you all the clothes you could possibly want, thinking being more confident in your style could help you with accepting yourself as well.
juntae saw you watch yourself in the mirror, and he felt something ache in him at the look in your eyes, almost disgusted. like there was something wrong with you. you’d just come home from school and he was opening snacks for you on his desk, but his eyes were on you because how could he not look?
you sighed briefly as you looked at yourself, fixing your blouse like it would changed anything.
he didn’t talk to you about it at first. but he did think about it, y/n, she’s smart and funny, she’s beautiful and she makes everyone around her shine.
he waited a bit, until you two were lying down backs against the bed, heads touching.
“y/n?” he asked staring at the ceiling, and you hummed, listening. he didn’t want to make you hurt even more by showing his noticed your insecurity, he simply needed to reassure you.
“you know you’re perfect?” his voice was soft, his approach would never be straight up incomprehension, even if he doesn’t get how you could be insecure, he knows some things are deeply rooted in people.
over time, he’d make sure he compliments you enough and on specific things you like ”that color makes you glow” he’d smile looking at you with pride, trying to remind you there’s nothing wrong with you every chance he gets.
if he catches you talk badly about yourself, he won’t hide that it makes him sad, and that he wishes you’d treat yourself like you treat others.
“you never cared about what other people think,” he’d tell you gently, “that’s what you always tell me, we don’t care.” he tried to get that that was your defense mechanism, telling yourself you didn’t care. he saw you compare yourself to others that were funnier, smarter, prettier in your eyes and he wanted you to know you being yourself was enough.
the moment it clicked in his brain that his girl was hiding her insecurities but that deep down, it was hurting her really bad, he felt his heart break.
he understood things were different for women growing up, but he also had his own insecurities like everyone else.
you two loved talking, sometimes that was how you relaxed, getting stuff off your chests.
you sat on a bench, your head on his lap while he watched baku and juntae try to play basketball with sieun, and you said something that made his neck snap down to look at you.
“i don’t know i just don’t think i’m pretty,, not like these girls anyway” it didn’t sound like you were fishing for compliments, it sounded genuine, like you’d accepted you weren’t pretty.
“what are you talking about? you’re beautiful” he didn’t say it aggressively, it was real confusion in his tone.
for his approach, he tried to make you see that even him, who can come across as comfortable and confident, can be this way too.
his goal wasn’t to make you feel like it’s a big discussion that could stress you out, he’d keep looking at them playing.
“i never really liked my ____, see? did you ever notice that on me?” you shook your head “but that’s different” and he smiled because it wasn’t different.
he wanted you to get that other people didn’t even care, all you had to do was love yourself.
you’d talk about that for a while though, all the stuff you don’t like about yourself and why.
“i know it’s not that simple…but i’m here. and i love you just the way you are” he kissed your forehead, his point was that no matter what he said you wouldn’t believe him but you’d get there someday. and he’ll make sure to hold you tight whenever he sees you getting affected by your own thoughts.
he is the type of person that acts like everything is easy going, he is the funny friend, but he has some serious stuff going on in his life.
you saw that in him pretty early, and you also saw his grand sensibility.
at first it would be hard for him to fully grasp that the most perfect girl could be insecure, but he would ask you to explain to him, what could possibly be wrong with you.
the main thing is that he gets it, he reads people, especially people he loves. and he saw straight through you.
humin didn’t have one moment that made it obvious, he noticed because of little things you said or did that made him blink twice before answering.
you hiding your face for pictures, or mean comments about your own looks or how loud you are. he knows he can’t fix how you see yourself, so he thinks if he shows you how much he loves you, maybe you’ll start loving yourself too.
he always looks at you with tenderness because he wants you to realize that nothing about you should ever change.
he is the type to compliment you everyday, not even consciously sometimes, he just sees you.
he’s almost doing too much in your eyes, when you’re ready to leave for dinner and he’s hooting and hollering like he’s front row at the stadium and beyoncé just stepped out on stage, at least you feel easier when you go out with him.
he holds your hand, and that gives you some strength, you want to try and stop thinking everyone is always staring and judging you.
“look at you, outshining everyone” he’d shake his head, smiling from ear to ear like you hung the moon. that single phrase made you understand he saw how you always thought yourself inferior to others.
he listens to you when you talk badly about yourself, as much as it hurts him to hear it, he wants you to get it out of your system when you’re having a hard time.
he liked everything about you. that was one of the reasons he fell in love, he didn’t have time or energy for someone, but there you were, never bothering him because he wanted you around.
you understood him and his silence, you looked in his eyes and something calmed his torment.
how could someone with that much power of mind hate herself?
he’s observant, always analyzing you, that’s how he got it. his girlfriend looking in the mirror with that hint of disappointment, or that day, when you guys took pictures together, in the car before dinner.
you took the picture, lowered your phone to look at it and he was looking at your reaction, he saw the tenderness because you were looking at the two of you, and then that look when you saw yourself.
he tucked your hair behind your ear, his gaze always on your face, “what’s up, hm?” you shook your head but you rarely hid stuff from him. “i don’t like my makeup today.” half lie.
he stared at you but you didn’t turn your head to look back, he shook his head.
“it’s not the makeup, you don’t need that to look beautiful. it’s your appearance you don’t like.”
just saying something plainly and sharply honest was a very baekjin thing to do. you forgot sometimes that if he doesn’t keep it inside his head alongside all the amount of stuff he thinks about, it comes out without any masking.
he came out of the car and opened your door, you stopped thinking about it to have a nice night together but he didn’t.
over time he wanted to understand who made you possibly think you weren’t perfect, and why you believed them.
being in a relationship wasn’t exactly his intention, he wasn’t that interested in all that before you. you intrigued him, he was interested in you and your dynamic together.
he thought he made you feel special, not realizing maybe he didn’t tell you enough how much you mean to him.
initially, he found himself surprisingly feeling guilty, like it was somehow his fault if you were insecure, then he quickly understood it was deeper than that.
he’s not a master of words, he didn’t immediately find the right words or the right way to make yourself see things differently.
he’d tell you things like “that’s bullshit” at first, not looking up from his phone when you were criticizing your looks, but it wasn’t the right approach.
he understood as well with time that saying other girls were ugly didn’t work either, you didn’t like that. because you wanted to look like them.
of course, when it was dark and it was just the two of you he’d always get out of his mouth that you’re gorgeous and so much more.
he really got it when you went shopping together, he didn’t hate it nor love it, he liked watching you pick out clothes and ask him what he thinks, he didn’t like the people too much, but he went with you almost every time.
he saw you put back down a shirt that looked a lot like something you’d normally wear, “what’s wrong with that one?”, seongje asked, then he heard you casually say something so mean about yourself his eyebrows raised like you’d slapped him in the face. “damn” he said, looking at the shirt, he didn’t get it, but he felt bad, because how dare you speak ill about the one person he cares about?
“looks better on the fucking mannequin” you sighed, your throat tight. you didn’t even realize sometimes, how violent you were with yourself.
when you got in the car he brought it up again even if he’d previously dropped the subject in the shop. “you know i think you’re too hard on yourself, baby” he spoke with a rare seriousness, no smirk like earlier in the store, no teasing you about ridiculous stuff you do. he was looking at the road and speaking genuinely, “angels don’t see their own wings or something” he’d say something along those lines, not remembering a saying correctly, he’d try to get you to open up, wanting to know why you think of yourself that way.
★ ☆ .:｡✿*ﾟ‘ﾟ･✿.｡.:* *.:｡✿*ﾟ’ﾟ･✿.｡.:* *.:｡✿*ﾟ¨ﾟ✎･ ✿.｡.:* *.:｡✿*ﾟ¨ﾟ✎･✿.｡.:*
thank you for reading me <3
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