Bought marmalade?

me whenever i eat a crisp granny smith apple: we are cursed men miss turner

So turns out…..you guys are not gonna believe this…….but it turns out. Reading real books. Is good for you actually.

Let me be completely clear - I’m not being a sarcastic ass. I’m just realizing all over again, in real time, for myself, that reading a real life published book makes your neurons feel like they’re getting a spa day. Like I can feel my brain getting juicer and wrinklier with every page I turn. This shit is no joke, this is like hard drugs if hard drugs were good for you and made your brain feel revived and alive.

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

sexualizing that old man? Oh no I’m asexualizing that old man. Yeah he’s coming to the realization that his sexual activity was performative and compulsory, and he’s much happier now. I’m taking him to pride and he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit.

I mean yeah he’s evil and all but what if I were his favourite

I need a guy that I love more than the fictional ones. Until then I will remain pining over non-existent men on Tumblr.

listen to me. this is my final message to you. when you are at your lowest a fictional guy will come to you and when that happens you must start putting them in situations. this is the meaning of life.

I love reading books and becoming more insane

Sherlock Holmes is truly every woman’s greatest fantasy: a sexist man gets humiliated by a woman much smarter than him and he responds by having a ton of respect for her and never being sexist ever again.